What to teach and how to develop a 3 year old child. "Don't want! I won't! No need! I myself!” - three-year-old crisis: signs of a crisis and how to overcome it. Signs of developmental delay in 3-year-old children include

Just yesterday your baby was so soft and obedient, but today he throws tantrums, is rude for any reason, and categorically refuses to fulfill his mother’s requests. What happened to him? Most likely, the child has entered the so-called crisis of three years. Agree, it sounds impressive. But how should adults react to such childish behavior and what should parents who are tired of the whims do?

What you need to know about the three-year crisis?

In the psychological literature, the crisis of the age of three is called a special, relatively short-lived period of a child’s life, which is characterized by significant changes in his mental development. The crisis does not necessarily occur on the third birthday; the average age of onset is from 2.5 to 3.5 years.

"Don't want! I won't! No need! I myself!”

• The period of stubbornness begins at about 1.5 years.
• As a rule, this phase ends by 3.5-4 years.
• The peak of stubbornness occurs at 2.5-3 years.
• Boys are more stubborn than girls.
• Girls are capricious more often than boys.
• During a crisis period, attacks of stubbornness and capriciousness occur in children 5 times a day. For some, up to 19 times.

A crisis is a child’s restructuring, his maturation.

The duration and severity of manifestations of emotional reactions largely depend on the child’s temperament, family parenting style, and the characteristics of the relationship between mother and baby. Psychologists are sure that the more authoritarian relatives behave, the brighter and more acute the crisis manifests itself. By the way, it may intensify with the beginning of the visit.

If recently parents did not understand how to teach their children to be independent, now there is too much of it. Phrases “I myself”, “I want/I don’t want” are heard regularly.

The child becomes aware of himself as a separate person, with his own desires and needs. This is the most important new development of this age crisis. Thus, such a difficult period is characterized not only by conflicts with mother and father, but also by the emergence of a new quality - self-awareness.

And yet, despite the apparent maturity, the baby does not understand how to get recognition and approval from his parents. Adults continue to treat the child as if he were small and unintelligent, but for him he is already independent and big. And such injustice makes him rebel.

7 main signs of a crisis

In addition to the desire for independence, the crisis of three years has other characteristic symptoms, thanks to which it cannot be confused with bad behavior and childhood harmfulness.

1. Negativism

Negativism forces the child to oppose not only his mother’s wishes, but also his own wishes. For example, parents offer to go to the zoo, but the baby categorically refuses, although he really wants to see the animals. The point is that the suggestions come from adults.

It is necessary to distinguish between disobedience and negative reactions. Disobedient children act in accordance with their desires, which often go against the wishes of their parents. By the way, negativism is often selective: the child does not fulfill the requests of an individual, most often the mother, but behaves as before with others.

Advice:

You should not speak to children in a commanding tone. If your child is negative towards you, give him the opportunity to calm down and move away from excessive emotions. Sometimes asking the other way around helps: “Don’t get dressed, we’re not going anywhere today.”.

2. Stubbornness

Stubbornness is often confused with persistence. However, perseverance is a useful strong-willed quality that allows a little man to achieve a goal, despite difficulties. For example, you can finish building a house out of cubes, even if it is falling apart.

Stubbornness is distinguished by the child’s desire to stand his ground to the end only because he has already demanded it once. Let's say you invite your son to dinner, but he refuses. You begin to convince, and he answers: “I already said that I won’t eat, so I won’t.”.

Advice:

Do not try to convince the baby, because you will deprive him of the chance to get out of a difficult situation with dignity. A possible solution is to say that you will leave the food on the table and he can eat when he gets hungry. This method is best used only during a crisis.

3. Despotism

This symptom most often occurs in families with only one child. He tries to force his mother and father to do as he wants. For example, a daughter demands that her mother be with her all the time. If there are several children in the family, then despotic reactions manifest themselves as jealousy: the baby screams, stomps, pushes, takes away toys from a brother or sister.

Advice:

Don't be manipulated. And at the same time, try to pay more attention to your children. They must realize that parental attention can be attracted without scandals and hysterics. Involve your baby in household chores - cook dinner together for dad.

4. Symptom of devaluation

For a child, the value of old attachments disappears - to people, favorite dolls and cars, books, rules of behavior. Suddenly he begins to break toys, tear up books, call names or make faces in front of his grandmother, and say rude things. Moreover, the baby’s vocabulary is constantly expanding, replenished, among other things, with various bad and even indecent words.

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Advice:

Try to distract children with other toys. Instead of cars, take up construction kits; instead of books, choose drawing. Often look at pictures on the topic: how to behave with other people. Just don’t read moral lectures; it’s better to play out the child’s reactions that worry you in role-playing games.

5. Obstinacy

This unpleasant symptom of the crisis is impersonal. If negativism concerns a specific adult, then obstinacy is aimed at the usual way of life, at all the actions and objects that relatives offer to the child. It often occurs in families in which there are disagreements on the issue of upbringing between mom and dad, parents and. The baby simply stops fulfilling any demands.

Advice:

If the baby doesn’t want to put away the toys right now, engage him in another activity - for example, draw. And after a few minutes you will find that he himself will begin to put the cars in the basket, without your reminder.

6. Riot

A three-year-old child is trying to prove to adults that his desires are as valuable as their own. Because of this, he goes into conflict on any occasion. It seems that the baby is in a state of undeclared “war” with those around him, protesting against their every decision: "I do not want and I will not!".

Advice:

Try to remain calm, friendly, and listen to children's opinions. However, insist on your decision when it comes to the safety of the child: “You can’t play with a ball on the roadway!”

7. Self-will

Self-will is manifested in the fact that children strive for independence, regardless of the specific situation and their own capabilities. The child wants to independently buy some goods in the store, pay at the checkout, and cross the road without holding grandma’s hand. It is not surprising that such desires do not cause much delight among adults.

Advice:

Allow your child to do what he wants to do on his own. If he accomplishes what he wants, he will gain invaluable experience; if he fails, he will do it next time. Of course, this only applies to those situations that are absolutely safe for children.

Video consultation: Crisis 3 Years, 8 manifestations of crisis. What parents need to know

What should parents do?

First of all, adults need to understand that children's behavior is not bad heredity or harmful character. Your child is already big and wants to become independent. It's time to build a new relationship with him.

1. React thoughtfully and calmly. It should be remembered that the baby, through his actions, tests the parent’s nerves for strength and looks for weak spots that can be put pressure on. Also, do not shout, take it out on children, and especially do not punish physically - harsh methods can aggravate and prolong the course of the crisis ().
2. Set reasonable limits. There is no need to fill the life of a little person with all sorts of prohibitions. However, you should not go to the other extreme, otherwise, due to permissiveness, you risk raising a tyrant. Find the “golden mean” - reasonable boundaries that you absolutely cannot cross. For example, it is forbidden to play on the road, walk in cold weather without a hat, or skip daytime naps.
3. Encourage independence. The child can try to do everything that does not pose a danger to the child’s life, even if several mugs break in the process of learning (). Does your little one want to draw on the wallpaper? Attach whatman paper to the wall and give some markers. Shows genuine interest in the washing machine? A small basin with warm water and doll clothes will distract you from tricks and whims for a long time.
4. Give the right to choose. Parental wisdom suggests giving even a three-year-old child the opportunity to choose from at least two options. For example, do not force him to wear outerwear, but offer to go outside in a green or red jacket :). Of course, you still make serious decisions, but you can give in on unprincipled things.

How to cope with whims and hysterics?

In most cases, the bad behavior of three-year-olds - whims and hysterical reactions - is aimed at attracting parental attention and getting the desired thing. How should a mother behave during a three-year crisis to avoid constant hysterics?

1. During an affective outburst, it is useless to explain something to the baby. It's worth waiting until he calms down. If you find yourself hysterical in a public place, try to take it away from the “public” and distract the child’s attention. Remember what kind of cat you saw in the yard, how many sparrows were sitting on a branch in front of the house.
2. Try to smooth out outbursts of anger with the help of games. If your daughter doesn’t want to eat, sit a doll next to her and let the girl feed her. However, soon the toy will get tired of eating alone, so one spoon for the doll, and the second for the baby (see video at the end of the article).
3. To prevent whims and hysterics during a crisis, learn to negotiate with your children before starting any action. For example, before going shopping, agree that it is impossible to purchase an expensive toy. Try to explain why you cannot buy this machine. And be sure to ask what the baby would like to receive in return, offer your own version of entertainment.

To minimize the manifestation of hysterics and whims, necessary:

• remain calm without showing irritation;
• provide the child with attention and care;
• invite the child to choose his own way to solve the problem ( “What would you do if you were me?”);
• find out the reason for this behavior;
• postpone the conversation until the scandal is over.

Some parents, after reading our article, will say that they have not observed such negative manifestations in their three-year-old children. Indeed, sometimes a three-year crisis occurs without obvious symptoms. However, the main thing in this period is not how it passes, but what it can lead to. A sure sign of the normal development of a child’s personality at this age stage is the emergence of such psychological qualities as perseverance, will and self-confidence.

Thus, a crisis at the age of three is an absolutely normal phenomenon for a growing child, which will help him become an independent person. And one more important point - the more trusting and softer the relationship between the baby and mother, the easier it will go through this stage. Irritation, categoricalness and shouting from adults will only worsen the child’s negative behavior.

How we survived the crisis

Games to overcome the crisis 3 years

Psychology lessons for mothers

The third year of a child’s life is quite often the first truly difficult test for parents. It would seem that all the difficulties are behind us: the child has grown up and started talking. He is a kind, intelligent, active creature, and communicating with him is a pleasure. But suddenly something incomprehensible begins: at breakfast he pushed away the porridge and demanded soup, refused the offer to go for a walk, called his grandmother “baby”, and when asked to put away his toys, he lay down on the carpet and pretended to be asleep.

Science defines this kind of manifestation in the behavior of three-year-old children with the unpleasant word “crisis”. Psychologists usually advise parents not to panic. A crisis is a natural phenomenon and will pass. And for some children it really goes away - quickly and without consequences. But for others it takes on complicated forms, and they need help - correctly and in a timely manner.

Crises have been known to practicing teachers for a long time. Even in the times of Pestalozzi, Komensky and Rousseau, the unevenness of a child’s development in different periods of his life was noted: it either slows down, stabilizes at some age intervals, or sharply accelerates its pace at others. Rapid, rapid development sometimes complicates the child’s relationships with others. Even the most flexible child can become rude, capricious, obstinate, and hysterical at this time. A crisis is a period of such rapid development, and symptoms that are difficult to handle are a sign of its beginning.

What happens to the child?

The crisis of the third year of life has been called the “age of onslaught”, the “crisis of independence”, and the “difficult childhood”. And all because the crisis is not just inevitable, it is necessary. But what to do? Submit to the inevitability and wait until, having survived the “difficult age”, your baby will become the same again, and his mental growth will enter a stable phase?

This is not the best solution. Passive waiting is not the most correct solution to the problem, and after the crisis the child will still not remain the same. It is not at all necessary that he will become worse, that a difficult (crisis) age will ruin his character - he can become much better than he was, and you will definitely notice that he has become smarter, more independent and more mature. A crisis completely changes the child’s attitude towards the environment: towards the objective world, towards other people, towards himself.

Psychologists call such transformations age-related personality changes, since they affect all mental processes and change the child’s worldview and life position. A crisis renews personality: the child changes completely, entirely, in all the main character traits. This process is very difficult both for the child himself and for the parents. They do not always keep up with the sudden changes in his psyche and, unwittingly, can unwittingly provoke the negative behavior from which they themselves suffer in the first place.

However, as research in recent years has shown, such behavior is by no means necessary: ​​about a third of children go through a crisis without symptoms of learning difficulties. When talking about the inevitability of a crisis, scientists mean the direction of child development and its pace. These are objective processes and no one can avoid them.

But the style of behavior of a child in a crisis phase is a subjective factor: it is not only different for different children, but even for the same child can change significantly from the beginning of the crisis to its end.

And this also affects the style of parental behavior. Therefore, even specialists find it difficult to determine where the combination of crisis symptoms is, reflecting the natural course of personal restructuring, and where - the beginning of neurotic changes in the child’s character. However, some signs of “norm” and “deviations” do exist in a crisis, and you need to know them in order to avoid typical family mistakes.

Faces of crisis

For many children, the crisis age manifests itself through negativism, self-will, obstinacy - the child will constantly contradict you in everything. You invite him for a walk, he refuses, although he loves to walk, but as soon as you cancel the walk, he immediately starts whining: “I want to go for a walk, let’s go for a walk.” You collect his clothes, and he again refuses to go out. Exhausting confrontation is becoming more and more frequent. You put cheese on the table, but he insists on calling it butter. Tired of arguing, you agree: “Butter,” he gloatingly objects: “But no, it’s cheese.” He doesn’t care what’s on the table - not the truth, but an argument with an adult is his main goal.

How do adults most often react? It’s strange, but they take offense at the child, perceiving his behavior as a conscious desire to annoy them. Calm down - primary naive negativism is by no means evidence of the child’s spoiled character and his dislike for you. On the contrary, this is a reflection of progressive trends in his development - mental “emancipation” from an adult begins, an attempt to separate oneself from others, to declare one’s own intentions.

The baby does this clumsily, which is natural. His opportunities to express himself are very limited, and he cannot even clearly imagine these intentions. That’s why everything comes out in the form of an absurd contradiction to the obvious. They say “yes” to him, but he repeats “no”, wanting nothing more than to make it clear that he has the right to his own opinion and wants to be taken into account.

Please treat this request for independence with respect and understanding. You need to give him the opportunity to “win” from time to time, within reasonable limits, of course. Frequent concessions are fraught with even more strange behavior. In one family, where we observed the development of a three-year-old child, the mother, at our request, “fought” his negativism in only one way - she agreed with him in everything. A week later, he began to play “negativism”: he placed a toy next to one of the adults, ran away some distance and, shouting: “Don’t touch it, my toy,” rushed to it, although no one thought of attacking it. One day, before going to bed, when once again all his whims were fulfilled, he simply went into hysterics.

Our other observations also showed: a child who rarely encounters resistance from adults in response to any of his claims becomes hysterical and very unhappy by the age of three. Obviously, the problem is this: resistance to the will of an adult, forceful methods of relationship with him are still needed for a child of this age - it is impossible to remove them, and it is not necessary.

With their help, he, as it were, “gropes” for the limits of what is permitted, determines “what is good and what is bad,” and parental reactions help to navigate not only the world around him, but also his own desires and feelings. Children for whom everything is forbidden, in whom all primary forms of negativism are suppressed, subsequently turn out to be lack of initiative, unable to occupy themselves or come up with a game. Their imagination is either extremely impoverished, or, on the contrary, it manifests itself violently, disorderly and unproductive.

Frequent prohibitions and switching the child’s attention from his own naive ideas to other goals break the subtle mechanism of children’s initiative emerging at this age. If there are no prohibitions at all, if any absurd demand is fulfilled, then the child’s ability to distinguish between the suitability and expediency of his initiatives suffers - he turns out to be completely disoriented.

He has nothing to rely on in his actions, he does not understand the measure of the correctness of his actions, since he is deprived of the necessary “limiter” of his desires - a ban. And negative assessments from adults are also needed because children of this age very often evaluate the results of their actions or their actions using the “by contradiction” method: “I’m good because I don’t do bad.”

During the normal course of the crisis, towards the end of the third year, the child learns to more or less clearly formulate his plans and defend them in “human” ways. The absurd confrontation between parents disappears, but it does not always become easier for them: negativism and self-will are replaced by a bunch of other, no less complex symptoms.

Crisis and Imagination

Typically, the initiative that appears in children of the third year of life is accompanied by an increased interest in objects and actions with them. In the language of science - “the formation of personal action: an action conceived by a child and independently performed suddenly acquires some special value for him. It is difficult to distract him from this action; if it does not go well, then he may be upset to the point of tears, and criticism towards him may react in a completely unusual way: scream at you, try to blame failure on someone else, blush with shame.

Most of the symptoms of personal restructuring are purely positive: the baby becomes independent, persistent and diligent. If earlier he acted with the object that caught his eye, now he specifically looks for and selects objects for the action plan that he drew up in advance. And the action itself becomes different - purposeful. The child reflects and compares: if an action does not lead to the desired result, he changes it to another, more suitable for his goals.

However, parents rarely notice these symptoms: what does not cause problems does not attract their attention. Most of all, at this age, they are alarmed by the increasingly frequent cases of deceit, rancor, unbridled boasting, incredible cunning and resourcefulness. For example: an overly curious child was forbidden to touch the vacuum cleaner. After waiting for his mother to leave the room, he went to the window, which was covered with a curtain: “Tuchka, can I leave the dustbin?” “It’s possible, Kila (Kira), it’s possible,” he allowed himself and, with a clear conscience, took up the forbidden subject. The ability to bypass unwanted prohibitions with the help of fantasy is very developed in children of the “crisis” three years old. In general, the imagination at this age is greatly activated and is used by the child for a variety of purposes. First of all, it plays a major role in his objective actions, since it allows him to plan them in advance, go over in his mind the ways to achieve them and keep the final goal in mind. This. so to speak, a productive and useful imagination. However, quite often the child is forced to use his imagination to protect his dignity and his rights. It is this protective imagination that most alarms parents, although it is they who most often bring it to life. Prohibitions force the child to activate his imagination in order to circumvent them. After all, objective activity is extremely important for him. At the age of three, the child’s “I” is uniquely fused with the first independent results in activity. His pride knows no bounds: success in actions with an object, as it were, equalizes his rights with us adults. Objective activity is the only thing that he can repeat after us and in the same way as we do. This is very important for him, so it is almost impossible to deprive him of the opportunity to vacuum cleaner like mom or hammer nails like dad. Defensive imagination gives rise to both chronic failure in objective activities and frequent criticism of parents. This hurts the baby. Success and failure at this age are so closely connected with his “I” that he will perceive non-recognition of his achievements as a personal defeat, as a tragedy, as a signal of his low value for his parents. And he can behave in different ways: withdraw into himself, become indecisive and tearful, or he can simply “invent” his success. All these manifestations are alarming and symptomatic. If a child begins to often deceive you, if he is frightened in advance by your strict remarks and tries to deflect blame from himself with the help of fiction, first of all think about his behavior, reconsider the system of your assessments and methods of punishment - does their severity correspond to his offenses? excessive insult to his pride. Symptoms of children's lies can be easily overcome if the causes that cause them are immediately eliminated, otherwise they can take hold for a long time, if not forever.

Imagination and fears

“Crisis” fears are also closely related to imagination. Their difference from the previous ones is that they are not just a child’s reaction to unusual and strong stimuli. At two years old, he may well burst into a roar when he first hears the noise of a coffee grinder or the sound of a siren: the instinct of self-preservation is triggered. By crying, he draws his parents' attention to discomfort, learning to distinguish between dangerous and safe innovations that invade his life.

The fears of a three-year-old child are of a different kind. They can arise after reading a fairy tale or from the discomfort of darkness and settle in his soul for a long time, affecting his behavior. His imagination will create bizarre images of the “scary” and he cannot cope with them. The mechanisms of the birth of fears in three-year-old children have been studied very poorly. As a rule, if the crisis progresses well, they do not particularly strain the baby, but if it is aggravated, they can become a very serious problem.

Quite often, obsessive fears are a sign of neuroticism in the individual and the child should be urgently shown to a specialist. But most children's fears can be dealt with on their own. And first of all, you should not convince the baby that he has nothing to be afraid of, or that he is ashamed to be afraid. Persuasion does not make fears go away, but a feeling of guilt is added, and the situation can become more complicated. Therefore, the right to be afraid must be recognized, but also help the child fight fears, mobilizing all his ingenuity. One three-year-old toddler was helped by a “magic sword” - a willow twig cleared of bark, which his parents placed near his crib. Another kid, with the help of his mother, “brewed” a potion against ghosts - the most bitter and tasteless foods were poured into a mug. This may seem funny, but the baby develops a feeling of security and fears are no longer scary to him.

So, three years is a milestone that every child overcomes, an important and responsible period in his development: he enters the phase of restructuring his entire mental life. He strives to realize himself in objective activities, is sensitive to others’ assessments of his skill, and he develops a sense of self-esteem.

If adults continue to treat him as small, incompetent, hurt his pride with offensive remarks, limit his initiative and strictly regulate his activity, if they are inattentive to his interests, the crisis worsens and the child becomes difficult and intractable.

This can take root if adults do not rebuild their relationship with him. And, on the contrary, it is easily overcome if they respect his activities and concerns, delicately evaluate his results, support and encourage him.

Then the child develops a sense of self-esteem - an important personal foundation for the development of all children's abilities in subsequent ages. It is very important to help him find this feeling. If it is not formed at the three-year crisis stage, it may never arise at all. Each mental function, each personality trait has its own optimal period of development. The main thing is not to miss it.

A three-year-old child can dress and wash himself. Communicates with other children in the game, can follow simple rules. Very inquisitive and strives for independence.

Newborn baby

Baby 1 month

Baby 2 months

Baby 3 months

Baby 4 months

Baby 5 months

Baby 6 months

Baby 7 months

Baby 8 months

Baby 9 months

Baby 10 months

Baby 11 months

Child 1 year

Child 1 year 3 months

Child 1.5 years old

Child 1 year 9 months

Child 2 years old

Child 2.5 years old

Child 3 years old

By the age of 3, a child usually masters a tricycle, swings on a swing, and slides on a sled. Knows how to play with peers and exchange toys. For children 3 years old, it is not difficult to perform two actions at the same time: for example, stomp and clap. A 3-year-old child is not afraid to swim when supported by an adult. The following techniques and movements can be included in games for children 3 years old: stepping over obstacles on the floor (blocks) in alternating steps, walking along an inclined board, jumping over a line on the floor, standing long jump on two legs, jumping from a small height. A three-year-old child enjoys running, jumping, throwing and catching a ball.

Height and weight of a 3-year-old child, data from domestic pediatricians

Height and weight of children aged 3 years WHO data

Cognitive development of a 3 year old child

Distinguishing objects by characteristics:
At 3 years old, a child correctly names four primary colors and some shades of colors.
Orients himself in the seven colors of the spectrum (knows black and white), finds according to a pattern, at the request of an adult.
A three-year-old child assembles sequentially (puts smaller ones into larger ones) nesting dolls, bowls, molds, caps from four to six components (as shown, at the request of an adult, in independent play).
Games for a 3-year-old child can be based on matching flat geometric shapes to a pattern (circle, rectangle, triangle, trapezoid, oval, square).
Visually navigates the configuration of three-dimensional geometric shapes (matches them to the corresponding holes). He names some of them: ball, cube, prism (“roof”), cylinder (“column”), brick, cone.
Identifies by touch (in the game) and names familiar geometric or other figures.
A 3-year-old child assembles a pyramid of eight to ten rings according to a pattern or design (in descending size, in size and color, in shape and size).
Finds and can name a large, a small object, a medium one - between them.
Identifies an object by its texture (soft, hard).
Composes a picture from two parts (in class).
Matches the mosaic to a simple pattern.
Remembers and indicates the place where the toy removed by the adult stood (in a joint game).
Imitates the writing of an adult (imitates).
At 3 years old, a child can add the missing details to an adult’s drawing (a stem for a flower, a leaf for a branch).
Draws circles, ovals, draws lines, depicts rectangular objects; paints over; imitates the model.
He draws according to his own ideas. Explains what he is drawing (sun, path, rain, etc.).
Rolls out lumps of clay and plasticine in palms; connects the parts.
Sculpts simple shapes (ball, column, sausage, bagel).
Performs simple applique from ready-made forms.

Game actions (beginning of role-playing game):
A three-year-old child shows initiative in play (creativity). Can “take on a role” (calls himself “mother”, “doctor”, etc. in the game). Understands his role in the game.
Fantasizes in the game (introduction of a fairy-tale character).
Plays calmly with other children using substitute objects.
Imitates other children (in any games).
Follows the rules in outdoor games.
Builds a house, a fence, a car, a bridge, etc. from cubes (according to a model, according to a drawing, according to verbal instructions, according to a plan).
Uses various three-dimensional geometric shapes in building games and design, plays with buildings with toys.

Social-emotional development of a 3-year-old child

Wants to be good, expects praise, approval, emotional and positive reinforcement from an adult.
Shows initiative and independence.
Experiences emotional satisfaction if he was able to accomplish something. I'm happy when they praise me.
Shows a sense of pride in himself (“I’m the best runner”), in his parents (“dad is the strongest,” “mom is the most beautiful”).
Inquisitive, curious.
The long-term memory of a 3-year-old child is based on previous emotional experiences; memories of the last year may arise.
Shows emotional restraint: does not shout in public places, calmly crosses the street with an adult, does not run along the sidewalk, calmly listens to an adult’s request and fulfills it, stops crying when there is a justified prohibition.
Disobedient, emotionally tense when movements are limited, when adults do not understand his requests and desires. Can be persistent in its demands.
He worries if they scold him. He may be offended for a long time by punishment.
Feels sad and ashamed. He understands that he did something badly (he didn’t have time to go to the toilet, he spilled water); he expects a negative assessment from an adult.
He understands if someone else is doing something bad. Gives an emotionally negative assessment (“You can’t: offend, break, tear, take away, fight”).
Can be jealous, offended, intercede, angry, disingenuous, mischievous.
Knows non-verbal methods of emotional communication. Expresses his feelings with his gaze, facial expressions, tone, gestures, expressive movements, and poses.
Emotionally expresses imaginary situations (in play).
Speech is filled with emotionally expressive shades (often by imitation).
The word denotes his emotional states: laughing, afraid, frozen.
Fears and fear of the dark may arise.
Begins to understand humor (laughs, puzzled).
Emotionally empathizes with characters when listening to fairy tales, when watching children's plays, cartoons (he is happy, sad, angry, winces in “pain,” etc.).
Emotionally responsive (experiences pleasure) to music, singing, artistic expression. Sings along, dances (passes the rhythm). Reacts to changes in music - moves differently (spinning, crouching, waving his arms, clapping, stomping).
Reacts emotionally differently to familiar and unfamiliar pieces of music or art when looking at illustrations.
Prefers cheerful music and songs, bright drawings.
Shows interest in drawing and modeling.
Experiences emotional satisfaction from outdoor games.
Emotionally reacts differently to the beautiful and ugly (notices, distinguishes, evaluates).
Emotionally anticipates the outcome of certain actions (one's own or other people's).
Gets upset when you can't do something.
He rejoices at his skillful actions when he succeeds.
Friendly, emotionally open, treats people with trust. He is interested in their actions (deeds), answers if they ask about something.
Remembers kind and harsh people (emotionally responsive and emotionally restrained).
Shows shyness with characteristic facial expressions, especially when addressed by a stranger.
Understands the state of others based on his own emotional experience.
Emotionally assesses the situation: empathizes (if someone is in pain), helps (if someone needs help), sympathizes, behaves quietly (if someone is sleeping, tired).
Notices the sadness, dissatisfaction, and joy of adults or children.
Imitates facial expressions, voice intonations, and emotional and expressive movements of close adults.
Imitates the emotional behavior of peers (can copy someone who is noisier or louder).
Treats children kindly: does not snatch toys, does not take them without asking, and shares his toys.
Enjoys communicating with peers. There is an interest in playing games together.
Shows affection for some children.
Wary of unfamiliar animals, individual people, and new situations.

Speech development of a child at 3 years old (up to 1500 spoken words)

Pronounces complex sentences when communicating. Uses words to express desires, feelings, impressions.
Speaks in simple, grammatical phrases.
He often accompanies his actions with speech. Begins to use subordinate clauses (not always).
Changes words according to numbers and cases. Asks cognitive questions: “Where?”, “Where to?”, “Why?”, “When?” and others. Easily repeats unfamiliar words and phrases after adults. Quickly learns poems, songs, excerpts from fairy tales. Pronounces many sounds correctly (vowels and simple consonants).
Word creation and a tendency to rhyme appear. Enters into verbal dialogues with children and adults. Answers questions from an adult based on the plot picture. Names some animals (their babies), household items, clothes, dishes, equipment, plants and more from a picture.
Tells a familiar fairy tale coherently based on the picture. Conveys with words, gestures, and intonation the content of a fairy tale, nursery rhyme, song, or poem. Speaks out about a book, an event (after questions and based on memory).
Can prove and think through a sentence said by an adult.
Quickly answers the question: “What is your name?” Knows his last name.
Answers the question: “How old are you?” Points with fingers.
Distinguishes and names people by their gender and age (boy, uncle, grandfather, girl, aunt, grandmother).
Knows his gender: boy or girl; names after the adult’s question.
Knows the names of body parts (head, neck, back, chest, stomach, arms, legs, fingers).
Knows the purpose of body parts (answers questions): “eyes look”, “ears listen”, “legs walk”).
Knows the names of the same parts of the body in humans and animals: “eyes for everyone, legs for a person, paws for an animal, arms for a person, wings for a bird.”
In the game he calls himself some kind of character. Answers an adult’s question: “Who are you in the game?”
When playing, he accompanies his actions with words.
Uses role-playing speech in the game. Speaks for himself and for the doll.
He recognizes and names the whole image by detail (by the trunk - an elephant, by the trousers - a boy).
Has an idea of ​​numbers, shows and says: “one, two, three, many, few.”
Anticipates the outcome (mental possibilities). Uses means to achieve goals.
Able to observe for a long time, concentrate attention, and get carried away by his activities.
Begins to distinguish between the right and left sides (may be mistaken).
Summarizes objects according to their properties (who (what) flies? who (what) swims?).
Shifts from calling himself in the third person to the pronoun “I”.
Shows special interest in conversations between adults.
Listens for a long time to a fairy tale, read or told to adults or recorded on audio cassettes.

Household skills of a 3 year old child

Dresses independently, with a little help from an adult.
Undresses independently; folds his clothes before going to bed.
Fastens several buttons.
Ties (ties) shoelaces.
Knows the purpose of many objects, their location and purpose.
Performs instructions consisting of two or three actions (carry, place, bring).
Can wash hands with soap, wash, dry with a towel.
Notices the disarray in his clothes.
Uses a handkerchief.
Wipes his feet upon entering the apartment.
Regulates its physiological needs.
Eats carefully.
Holds the spoon by the end of its handle.
Uses a napkin.
Doesn't leave the table until the end of the meal.
Doesn't bother others at the table.
He says “thank you,” says hello, and says goodbye.

At the age of three years, the development of children's skills proceeds quickly, sometimes in leaps and bounds, and it makes no sense to compare the achievements of different children, since each of them improves according to an individual plan laid down by nature. The turning point, which gives parents a lot of trouble, as a rule, is already in the past or is close to completion, and a child who is actively adding to the list of new skills makes moms and dads more and more happy. Knowing what a 3-year-old child should be able to do will help make sure that the baby doesn’t fall behind.

The changes that a child’s body undergoes at the age of three are very significant and varied. First of all, starting from 2.5, babies grow 4-5 centimeters and gain 1.2 kilograms of weight. Boys are always slightly larger than girls, their height varies from 88 to 102 centimeters, and body weight - from 12 to 18 kilograms. For girls, the same figures are 87-100 centimeters and 10-17 kilograms.

Due to anatomical and physiological changes, other important functions and abilities of the baby are improved:

1. Three-year-old children are increasingly able to control their bodies and coordinate movements, and the child’s step gradually evens out when walking.
2. Due to the development of the nervous system, children stay awake longer, perceive and remember information better, and their performance increases. Because of this, monotonous activities no longer seem so burdensome to some children - they are more diligent and patient.
3. The development of motor function expands the capabilities of the toddler, and he can perform many different activities related to everyday life and games. As a result, speech skills are also improved, and the baby’s vocabulary is replenished to 1000 words. Despite the fact that children do not always succeed in correct pronunciation, and some letters are generally difficult for them to pronounce, they talk continuously - in this case, parents need to do articulation gymnastics with the child or take them to a speech therapist.
4. Three years is a time of countless questions addressed to adults, and it is important that the child receives comprehensive answers in an accessible language.

The mental development of a child at 3 years old is closely related to the formation of an emotional background and role-playing games that are relevant for this age. Their importance can hardly be overestimated - while playing, children not only develop spatial thinking, but also learn to solve various problems, replaying the behavior patterns of their elders in their scenarios. In the future, this will help the child find a way out of difficult situations, which are not uncommon in reality.

What should a 3 year old child be able to do?

Having found out what a three-year-old child should be able to do, parents have the opportunity to compare the success of their child with the average performance of this age. This makes it easier to create a training program aimed at diversified development.

At the moment, the kids have mastered a lot of motor skills and are in good athletic shape:

• they can easily climb and descend stairs and are excellent at climbing vertical stairs;
• run quickly, while changing direction;
• they can climb up and down hills themselves;
• they tumble and walk backwards;
• confidently manipulate the ball;
• maintain balance while standing on their toes and walk several meters in this way;
• learn to ride a bicycle;
• They jump well on one leg.

From the age of three, children can already be sent to various sports clubs and sections, dance and swim with them.

The child’s speech development reaches certain heights - children speak in coherent sentences, although they may still not pronounce some letters.

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Most children have good speech skills:

• are able to conduct a reasonable dialogue with peers and adults;
• readily give answers to adults’ questions;
• can describe a picture using 5-6 coherent sentences;
• their phrases consist of the main constituent parts of speech, prepositions are also used;
• children retell prose and are able to memorize poems;
• know family members and acquaintances by name; pronounce their own name correctly;
• begin to use antonyms and adjectives.

A child’s intellectual abilities are inextricably linked with a child’s speech. A well-developed child should be able to find cause-and-effect relationships between events and draw appropriate conclusions at the age of three.

It is also common for children of this age to:

• find differences and common features of individual living and inanimate objects, objects, compare images, recognize elements that do not fit into the overall picture;
• build simple logical chains based on stories and observing natural phenomena;
• have knowledge of plurality, have an understanding of numbers and arithmetic calculation;
• name and distinguish different colors and shades;
• recognize basic shapes - square, circle, triangle;
• assemble mosaics and puzzles of 7-8 elements;
• discuss events that happened in the recent past.

Developed motor function allows a three-year-old child to:

• use scissors to cut;
• hold a pencil, brush and pen;
• string beads on a thread;
• sculpt sausages and balls from plasticine.

A three-year-old child has many everyday skills, and every day acquires new useful skills and habits:

• eats independently using a spoon and fork;
• washes his face, uses a toothbrush and toothpaste;
• washes his hands before sitting down at the table;
• able to put on shoes, take off shoes, put on outerwear;
• copes well with buttons, laces, Velcro, zippers;
• uses napkins and handkerchiefs if it gets dirty;
• puts away his things and toys, puts things in order.

Understanding what a child of 3 years old should be able to do, we must not forget about the formation of communication skills in children. They urgently need contact with strangers and strangers, thus improving their social skills:

• children easily get to know their peers;
• they already understand the rules of some board and street games;
• while playing, they can assess dangerous situations and make attempts to prevent them;
• kids are already able to say goodbye, greet and thank peers and people of the older generation.

The differences in the behavior of children of different sexes are becoming more and more apparent. The boy has special motor activity; at three years old he can do a lot, mainly by copying his father’s gestures and actions. He is stubborn and independent, preferring concrete expression of his feelings and desires.

Reflecting on what a 3-year-old girl needs to be able to do, we can come to the conclusion that her main skills are related to more developed speech; moreover, babies can not only speak, but listen and hear their parents. Thanks to this ability, it is always easier to negotiate with them.

Educational games and educational toys

For a three-year-old child, the main learning material is the game process, so it is important to choose age-appropriate games and toys for him.

To improve motor function it is recommended to use:

• balls;
• pushers, rolling machines;
• children's golf, bowling alley;
• special mats for dancing;
• scooters, tricycles;
• children's sports complex;
• trampoline;
• dry pool.

To develop creative abilities, fine motor skills, train attention, memory, logical thinking and imagination, you need:

• sets of cubes, constructors;
• mosaics, puzzles, children's lotto and dominoes;
• sorters, insert toys, lacing;
• rubber animal figures;
• interactive toys, books, globes, maps;
• children's musical instruments;
• creative kits, paints, easel, modeling kits.

For story games, 3-year-old children will need baby dolls and dolls, toy sets of dishes, furniture, a kitchen, attributes of people of different professions, as well as cars, soldiers, and robots.

At three years old, children are already able to play independently, but they, as before, need communication and adult participation in their fun and activities.

Three-year crisis: an integral stage of growing up

The transition period that happens in the life of every child, in most cases, begins at two years old and can last up to three or even four years. Depending on the baby’s temperament, it may be obvious or less pronounced. If we take boys and girls, the main cause of conflict for the former is stubbornness and unwillingness to fulfill the necessary demands of their parents; the little ones protest, starting to be capricious.

Disobedience and hostile behavior of children is associated with changes in their psyche - their own achievements force children to assert themselves in such a not entirely pleasant way. Very often, when causing a real scandal, a child does not expect his parents to make concessions; it is important for him to understand whether he will encounter resistance from his elders. Going deeper into this aspect, we can say that if adults compromise, the little aggressor feels more protected, but the negative consequence of resolving the situation will certainly be further manipulation of the feelings of the father and mother.

You can recognize the onset of a crisis in children by the following characteristic signs:

1. The child’s denial of everything that is not offered to him, even against his own desires. Children's negativity is usually directed at one of the parents.
2. Disobedience, expressed in self-will - the child shows that he does not need outside help, does everything himself, even if it doesn’t work out - gets dressed, prepares food for himself, tries to cross the road himself while walking.
3. Stubbornness reaching the point of absurdity - the baby does not want to clean up his toys, wash his plate, eat porridge, and does it demonstratively.
4. Protest is another symptom of the onset of a crisis stage. Children do not want to follow basic rules; it is impossible to put them to bed or feed them. The usual words of a child are “I won’t”, “I don’t want”. In most cases, the outcome is repeated up to 20 times a day - crying, screaming, violent hysteria.
5. Children become extremely obstinate in relation to everything that surrounds them - things, people, daily routine rules. They don't like literally everything.
6. Perseverance and despotism, when the little one demands fulfillment of his desires and behaves aggressively with his parents - he can scream, stomp his feet, even hit his mother.
7. Another manifestation is the devaluation of loved ones, this is expressed in rude and cruel words, name-calling towards family members. At the same time, the baby breaks, tears and tramples his favorite toys, books, and clothes just yesterday.

Of course, it is difficult for parents to treat an inappropriately behaving child with the same warmth, but they need to understand that these are temporary difficulties, and under no circumstances push the child away.

In order for the unpleasant manifestations of the baby’s character associated with the development of his personality to go more smoothly and end as quickly as possible, psychologists advise parents:

• give the child relative freedom of action and not control his every step;
• allow the child to help with household chores, even if he may break a plate or spill water on the floor while watering flowers;
• praise the little one more often for good deeds;
• in the presence of the baby, do not find out among themselves the degree of guilt in the inappropriate behavior of your son or daughter.

During this difficult period, you cannot order a child; you can always come to an agreement with him if you apply patience and even cunning. Moreover, you cannot physically punish a child - this will only embitter the little person. A loving, understanding, friendly attitude will help adults get through difficult times for several months.

Child development at 3 years old: video

Using the knowledge of what a child of 3 years old should be able to do, parents have the opportunity to stimulate and regulate the development of their baby by wisely choosing toys and educational games for him. The results of mental, physical and creative activity will be more significant if they show wisdom and trust the actions of the baby and respect his opinion.

At three years old, a child should have learned basic concepts, thanks to which the basic foundation for his intellectual development will be laid. Usually, parents prefer to conduct such classes at home, in a calm environment (since often a three-year-old child has some fear of society and peers: in group classes, many kids look at each other, ready to correct even the correct answer if it differs from someone else’s). What activities should you conduct with three-year-old children?

Classes with a 3-year-old child are an exciting activity: learning colors

Mathematical

• Count to five.
• Knowledge of a small number of geometric shapes.
• Basic comparison skills.
• The right pairing.

Remember that at three years old children do not have a long fixation on one subject, so classes must be conducted often and little by little (it is better to conduct three classes for 20 minutes than one for an hour).

May include the use of flashcards, puzzles, copybooks and creative activities.

Cards

At three years old, your baby can still chew paper, so take the time to laminate the cards so that you don’t have to print out a new set for each lesson. Typically, educational activities are carried out according to the following scheme: You show the child a card with some image (for children it is better to choose the most simple and understandable drawings) and ask him to repeat the drawing, or to say how many objects are shown in the picture. If you have a set of paired cards, then you can ask the children to play memory-developing games: “find the pair”, “remember the hidden image”, “find the difference” and so on.

Remember that such activities can be carried out not only at home, but also on the street.

For example, in the warm season, you can make a treasure hunt game: give your child a real pirate map (with the help of ordinary coffee, the paper can be aged for several years), on which educational cards will be indicated with crosses. Explain to your child that he needs to solve the problem in order to be able to move on.

If you have several children, then you can hold a real competition (remember that each of the children should receive their own incentive prize).

If it is cold outside, then a similar competition can be held at home, having previously hidden all fragile objects.

Puzzles

For three-year-old children, it is best to select large pictures consisting of a small number of details.

Cut the educational pictures into vertical lines (they should be quite large). The essence of the lesson is for the child to assemble a puzzle and at the same time learn the name, appearance and location of the number on the number line.

Copybooks

This material will help kids develop their hands, as well as write numbers correctly, freely composing numbers from them. Select the copybooks so that the lines in them are large enough and clear.

Coloring pages

They are especially loved by children, so try to use these educational materials as often as possible. Due to their compactness, coloring books can be used both at home and outdoors at any time of the year. For three-year-old children, try to choose coloring books that use not only the image of a number, but also its written name (this will help train reading and speech).

brain teaser

What should a child learn?

• Finding and justifying errors.
• Finding similarities and differences.
• Memorizing words and pictures.
• Concentration of attention.

The latter is especially important: classes with many three-year-old children are complicated by the fact that the child needs a lot of physical activity, and if it is not given, the baby shows his dissatisfaction in the form of crying and hysterics. That is why plan your classes wisely: no more than 20 minutes, and 10 minutes after the start of the class it is recommended to do a short physical exercise minute.

Game activities can be done anywhere

If you study at home, you can, as a reward for active work, go for a walk with your offspring wherever he wants.

Play with your child in associations and opposites as often as possible (this way, reaction speed, verbal and logical thinking are trained). Fairy tales are especially relevant for children three years old, so tell a fairy tale with a small mistake that needs to be corrected (for example, the time of year is summer, and the narrator says: “today we went sledding”).

If you study at home, give your child several cards with different objects, offering to add the missing ones - this way you will further develop the children’s imagination.

Speech

What should a child learn?

• Sentences must be at least 5-6 words.
• The child must be able to name his personal information.
• Clearly distinguishing the characteristics of an object.
• Knowledge of several actions (walks, cries, talks, meows, etc.).

If you are studying at home, prepare cubes or cards with letters so that your child continues to form words from them. Remember that three-year-old children still do not have very well developed memory, so do not ask your child to spell out complex words or repeat long sentences

Household

What should a child learn?

• Putting on clothes independently.
• Cutting out pictures.
• Coloring pictures.
• Knowledge of basic rules of accuracy.

If classes are held at home, then hang posters with hygiene rules throughout the apartment - when passing by them, the child will subconsciously remember them (remember that a three-year-old child can be taught very quickly, but a 16-17 year old teenager will not be able to teach anything).

Also strive to develop creativity in your son or daughter: at least once every 2-3 months, organize themed parties, for which you can prepare costumes, decorations, scripts and even simple dishes.

In this way, you will gradually encourage your baby to live independently, developing creativity in the meantime.

If you don’t have enough time to carry out such events, then try to at least sometimes prepare crafts from ordinary household items: birds from cups, houses from boxes, and so on.

Cognitive

What should a child learn?

• Names of several animals.
• Names of various plants.
• The difference between vegetables and fruits, berries and mushrooms.
• Knowledge of basic natural phenomena.
• Knowledge of the seasons and days.

Prepare cards in advance with images of various birds, animals and plants. At the same time, try to choose those creatures that are found specifically in your city, so that during a walk you can show your child a bird or animal and tell something interesting about them (at the same time, do not try to load your child with incomprehensible and complex facts, instead telling interesting stories and stories).

Sports

Physical development is as important for a baby as intellectual development. This is due to the fact that when the child goes to school, he will not only have physical education lessons, in which he must complete all the tasks for agility, strength and endurance, but also outdoor games with classmates during breaks. if for some reason the child is unable to take part in them, then the number of his possible friends risks being reduced.

Every morning, start with simple exercises, including exercises to warm up your muscles, stretching and the obligatory light jogging.

If you have a daughter, then include a variety of dances in the program - usually little ones like them, while boys prefer ball games and jumping.

Be sure to use equipment for exercise: jump ropes, a variety of balls, children's dumbbells, bright hoops and gymnastic mats - all this will help the child perform the exercise with greater quality and pleasure, while reducing the risk of injury.