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I used to constantly ask myself, why congratulate people on their birthday, Happy New Year, anniversary. Why shake hands? All these congratulations seemed to me to be terribly meaningless conventions, stupid traditions that people follow out of some stupid habit. I was reluctant to congratulate people and also reluctant to accept congratulations.

What might social conventions actually be?

But, time passed, and I realized that social “conventions” are not such conventions after all. And it is precisely such traditions that appeared in society for a reason. And the fact that these customs exist in different cultures in similar forms suggests that they grow not just from some arbitrary, transient cultural traditions, but from something more general and fundamental.

For example, the seemingly meaningless handshake when greeting actually stems from very specific biological mechanisms.

Here's the thing. Nature has tried to make people instinctively strive for hygiene and avoid infection. That's why we feel disgust at the sight of rodents, decomposing bodies, excrement, as these are all potential sources of harmful bacteria. It turns out that human disgust is in the service of hygiene.

Any tactile contact with another person, from the point of view of our evolutionary mechanisms, is not entirely hygienic. A handshake or a kiss on the cheek when greeting are small deviations from the rules of hygiene. And in this permissible and safe violation of the rules lies the meaning of a handshake. With its help, we inform another person: “I trust you and am ready to exchange a little bacteria with you.” This is a biological sign of trust.

Even though we do not live in the Stone Age, these ancient mechanisms are still alive in us. And perhaps a handshake really unconsciously puts people at ease and promotes greater trust.
But what is the meaning of congratulations on your birthday, namely, all sorts of good wishes for happiness, health, etc.? In my opinion, the meaning is more about psychology than biology.

Psychopractices and customs

In order to understand this meaning, let's turn to what seems to me to be a practice from Eastern culture, which has a very specific purpose. There is such a technique in Buddhism, it is called Metta or Loving-Kindness meditation.

This technique consists in the fact that a person, sitting in a calm position with his eyes closed, wishes goodness and happiness to himself, his friends, relatives and even enemies. Wishes can be either simple feelings, sensations of love and kindness, or specific affirmations (short phrases that form an attitude in the subconscious) like: “I wish you happiness, love, prosperity...”

This practice aims to develop compassion, empathy, love for all people and it truly achieves these goals. Scientific studies have shown that 7 minutes of such practice a day improves a person’s relationships with other people, reduces anger and promotes positive emotions.

In my opinion, the tradition of congratulations on your birthday (and the good wishes associated with it) is a psychopractice aimed at developing and maintaining sympathy and love between loved ones. And the words of congratulations themselves are nothing more than affirmations that evoke warm feelings inside you. And the holiday serves as an occasion for psychopractice, just as religious holidays serve as an occasion for some kind of special prayer.

It just so happens that many things that we perceive as simple traditions and customs carry a specific practical meaning. It is quite possible that people wanted to somehow get closer to dear people, to direct their best thoughts in their direction, and therefore they came up with holidays. It so often happens that we get bogged down in worries about our own affairs and problems, and a birthday or anniversary is a reason to at least temporarily think about the happiness of another!

Perhaps Western people have unknowingly arrived at something that Buddhists practice quite consciously, understanding why they should do it. Elements of psychopractices can manifest themselves in certain areas of cultures that are initially alien to them, and there is nothing strange about this.

Therefore, use holidays and congratulations as a reason to cultivate love and care for another person, think about the best and take your mind off thoughts about yourself. Take some time to think about your deepest desires. Don't turn it into a mere formality, wish it with all your heart.

What do you really want for this person? Think about his life. What is he missing? What does he want most? What can bring him happiness and satisfaction? Think about it and wish him this sincerely. If your congratulations are too personal, you can always convey it to the person in private.

For his part, the person whom you congratulate will understand that your congratulation comes from a pure heart and is the result of your immersion in his life and desires and, therefore, your rapprochement.

And when you yourself accept congratulations, accept them with gratitude.

So, birthday greetings are not as meaningless as they may seem.

In turn, I want to express my gratitude to the readers for all the congratulations that I myself heard today!

Many people know that it is forbidden to wish happy birthday in advance, but they have no idea why this superstition works. The answer to this prejudice lies in the subconscious of man before the higher forces of nature.

Why don't they congratulate you on your birthday in advance?

Congratulating happy birthday in advance is stupid for rational and logical people. A person was born on the day assigned to him and you can congratulate him in advance on any other date of the year, which is generally absurd.

A less rational approach is that any nation has a lot of signs associated with the premature celebration of various events, which promise that this will not end well. Indeed, if you start dividing the skin of a bear that has not yet been killed, it can end in disaster for would-be hunters.

Despite all the progressiveness of society, many have no doubt that only enemies can be congratulated on their birthday in advance, because... this promises all sorts of troubles and misfortunes. This appeared in primitive times, when the life of every person could be interrupted at any moment due to enemies, predators, disease, etc. Unkind entities, who were just waiting for the moment to ruin people's lives, could hear premature congratulations and do the opposite - harm and ruin.

Superstitions are tenacious for a reason - many almost unconsciously spit over their left shoulder or knock on wood, even if they do not believe in evil spirits. Bad omens tend to come true precisely because they are believed in. Therefore, if you congratulate the birthday person in advance, he will subconsciously expect problems and misfortunes, and even the smallest trouble will be attributed to premature wishes. A the person who congratulated them may begin to be accused of having the “evil eye.”

If it is not possible to congratulate the birthday person on the desired date, this can be done a little later. In this case, congratulations will not carry any negative energy load.

Is it possible to wish happy birthday in advance?

It’s still not worth congratulating you on your birthday in advance. Firstly, this date is celebrated once a year for a reason - on this day the guardian angel most sensitively listens to the words of congratulations and wishes for the birthday person, which means they are more likely to come true. Secondly, congratulations on the right date will show the person that he is valued and loved. Already from early morning, the birthday boy expects pleasant words and gifts - why disappoint him.

There are a lot of superstitions and prejudices in our world that we believe in and follow. One of them is that a person cannot be congratulated on his birthday in advance. But why?

Logically, this can be explained by the fact that this holiday is only once a year: a person already walks around happy for a couple of weeks and plans how he will celebrate the next day when he was born. Why upset him and congratulate him in advance? After all, this day is special and there is only one. And it’s stupid to congratulate a person on something that, in fact, has not yet happened. It’s better to save some kind words and call, write, say them to the hero of the occasion at the right time.
Superstition says that congratulating an “unborn person” is tantamount to inviting troubles and troubles into his life. And if misfortunes do begin to happen to him, then only an untimely well-wisher will be to blame. Of course, this is just one of those old wives' tales, but there is no smoke without fire. This fact cannot be confirmed, but the superstition originated from something!?

Those born on February 29 are treated completely differently. These people either must celebrate the holiday once every four years, or accept congratulations on February 28 or March 1. Most, following tradition, congratulate the birthday person on March 1st.

Another superstition says that a person who was congratulated in advance may not live to see the cherished date. Few people would want to wish a dear or loved one an afterlife, therefore, in order not to confuse superstitious people, it is better to postpone the postcard until the “X-day”.
One of the old Slavic beliefs says that on the day of an angel or a person’s birthday, the souls of ancestors descend to a person to listen to wishes and ask God to make them come true. If you tell the birthday person your wishes in advance, no one will hear them.
If you didn’t succeed in wishing a person the best on his name day, you can do it late, but not a day or a week in advance!

Of course, first of all, it all depends on how you broke up. If the breakup was accompanied by scandal and resentment, then it is better to keep congratulations to yourself. Judge for yourself, if you left a guy, offending him, then what will your congratulations look like? There are a couple of options. The first is that he will take it as a mockery, his mood will deteriorate, he will write you a fiery and far from unpleasant speech, and his entire holiday will simply be ruined.

Option two - the young man will think that this means something and your feelings have not gone away. In this case, he will again begin to look for an opportunity to meet and improve relations, and you absolutely do not need this.

Let's consider the opposite situation - the guy left you and insulted you. In this case, such a congratulation will be considered as humiliation. He will definitely show it to all his friends, not forgetting to comment sarcasticly and say that you are a naive fool in love who still cannot live without His Royal Majesty.

It’s a completely different matter when you parted, so to speak, amicably. There were no quarrels or scandals between you. It’s just that the moment came when you both realized that the feelings had faded away and there was simply no point in continuing the relationship. In such a situation, you can congratulate the young man on his birthday. But still try to make your congratulations sound sincere, but neutral. There is no need to use various affectionate and diminutive addresses, because the young man may interpret this incorrectly and think that your feelings have flared up for him again.

If you know that your ex-boyfriend has a very jealous girlfriend who constantly reminds him of you, then you should forget about congratulations. It is you and he who understand that the past remains in the past, and such a congratulation is a tribute to the person with whom you have fond memories. His girlfriend simply does not want to understand and realize this. Therefore, your ex-boyfriend is guaranteed: a ruined birthday, scandal, hysteria and broken dishes. And you shouldn’t naively think that she won’t notice an SMS or a personal message on VKontakte. These ladies check everything and everywhere. That is why just remember him on his birthday and mentally wish him all the best. People feel positive energy even if they cannot see or hear it.

Well, if you and your ex-boyfriend maintain friendly relations, then, naturally, there can be no question of any questions. I think he will definitely invite you to the holiday, and you will not only congratulate him, but also give him some interesting gift. Of course, this option is the least popular, but, fortunately, there are also couples who can realize that friendship between them is higher than resentment, passion and misunderstanding.

But there are other cases. And one of them is when, after breaking up, a girl realizes that she still loves her ex-boyfriend. What to do in such a situation? Firstly, you should always know if he has a new lady and how he feels about you. No matter how strong your feelings, you should never humiliate yourself and expose yourself to ridicule. Of course, a birthday is a good and bright holiday, which can become an occasion for reconciliation. But it is necessary to know for sure whether this reconciliation is real in principle. Therefore, before using congratulations as an excuse, find out through your friends how things are going. If he doesn’t feel disgust towards you and hasn’t found a woman with whom he’s happy, you can take the risk.

In this case, your congratulations should be quite emotional, but still not too intimate. You don’t know if he still has any feelings. If they are not there, then you will simply look funny in front of your ex-boyfriend. Since you know him well, use some words and phrases that can hook him, remind him of the past, of some pleasant moments. Be sincere in your congratulations, but do not fawn over him, humiliate yourself and show that he is the best in the world and you are ready to do anything. Believe me, even in ordinary congratulatory words you can easily catch such a subtext if you put it there. Therefore, try to restrain your emotions, even if it is quite difficult for you to do so. The guy should understand that you would like to resume communication with him, but you are not going to do everything possible and impossible for this. If he is also not indifferent to you, he will respond to your congratulations and start a conversation himself, and from there everything depends on you. If there is even a coal left, it can be turned into a flame again.

What should you do if you left your boyfriend, offended him, and now you realize that you made a very big mistake? In this situation, a birthday can really be used as an occasion for reconciliation. But in this case, it is better not to write, but to call. This, of course, is scary because there is always the possibility that he will not pick up the phone. But still worth a try. If the guy does talk to you, congratulate him, putting all your feelings into these words, and then ask for forgiveness, explain that you were wrong and that you love him. There is no need to ask him for a meeting, to put pressure on him, just give him food for thought. Let him understand that he is truly dear to you, and let you realize all your mistakes.

If he understands that you really regret everything and he still has feelings, most likely you will be able to reconcile. On our birthday, we all become at least a little kinder. Therefore, you have a chance to reach him thanks to your sincere repentance.

But, if the guy never picked up the phone, you, of course, can write to him, although, most likely, the effect will be exactly the same. In this case, you will simply have to come to terms with the fact that you have lost him and you need to continue living, drawing conclusions from your mistakes. And is it necessary to try to congratulate such an ex-boyfriend over and over again on his birthday, New Year and other holidays if he does not want to see you in his life? I don't think it's worth it. There is no need to waste precious time on someone who does not want to share this time with you.

Although my congratulations on your birthday were lost in time, it remained very sincere and heartfelt! I congratulate you with all my heart, and I apologize for being late. I wish you cheerful and reliable friends, productive everyday life and relaxing weekends, financial independence and good luck in everything!

Happy Birthday! A sea of ​​success, an ocean of good health, a cup full of love and passion, harmony in the soul and a little power. Let only bright and positive events occur along the way, and let chance encounters turn out to be promising and successful. Dream, create, write poetry, get inspired and love.

Belated man

Happy birthday to the birthday boy! Please forgive me for the belated congratulations, but that’s it. I wish you a sincere smile, radiant sun in the sky and warmth in your soul. Be a happy person, worthy of respect and honor. Health, laughter, prosperity, joy and great positivity everywhere and in everything!

I apologize for being late, but still sincerely congratulate you on your birthday. May grandiose plans constantly be born in your head, which will certainly be successfully implemented in your life, may your dreams necessarily become reality, may your strength, hopes, aspirations and hard work lead you to true victory and great reward every time.

Happy birthday and I apologize for sending my wishes late. But, nevertheless, I wish to live without grief, stay on the course of happiness and good luck, tell my heart to enjoy life and confidently lead the fulfillment of my dreams.

Happy birthday and I apologize for the late greetings. But, I sincerely wish that the path of your life is paved with happiness and success, that what is dear to your heart is never lost, that what is important to your soul is always found.

I deeply apologize for the fact that it’s not on time, but I still want to congratulate you on your birthday and wish you bright colors, delicious dishes, great hopes, interesting opportunities, wonderful hobbies, true friends, undoubted success and happy smiles in your life.

I apologize very, very much, but I still hope you will accept my congratulations. Happy belated birthday. I wish you a life in all the colors of the rainbow and in the bright rays of happiness. Let there be many ups and no downs at all, let every day be successful without mishaps and incidents.

I sprinkle ashes on my head and belatedly congratulate you on your holiday. Please consider this as an extension of the celebration, as an opportunity to say good words and convey sincere wishes on a very ordinary day, and not just on your birthday. Health, good luck, happiness and all the most wonderful things!

Only vital emotions, unrealistic drive, fair attitude towards others, heroic spirit, basic success in business. Let the Ferris wheel bring colorful moments, useful discoveries and extreme and active recreation into your life. Do everything with love, pray for your parents, wait for good news, develop in all directions.