What not to do on Parents' Saturday. Dimitrievskaya Parent Saturday: what to do

Any church date has its own characteristics that every believer should know. On the Day of Remembrance of the Dead, it is very important to observe all traditions and prohibitions in order to ward off troubles and not bring grief to your family.

Every year people celebrate Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday. On this day, Orthodox believers visit churches and temples to light a candle for the repose of their loved ones, and also remember relatives who have already passed on to another world. The history of the holiday begins in 1380, and the date was set by Prince Dmitry Donskoy. Previously, on Parents' Saturday, people held memorial services for fallen soldiers. It was believed that Russian soldiers are always under God's protection, and even after their death it is necessary to pray for the people who gave their lives for their homeland.

Now on memorial day, people pray for their loved ones, attend services and divine liturgies, and after that remember the dead with kind words. This can be done at home or near the grave of the deceased. It is believed that on this day the souls of the dead descend to earth, so all traditions and prohibitions should be observed in order to please them and not anger them.

What to do on Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday

In Rus' it was believed that this day marks the transition from autumn to winter. Severe frosts began, for which people prepared in advance. Despite the fact that many tried to complete their work on the farm even before Intercession on October 14, some for some reason did not have time to do this, and then they tried to complete the preparations before Dmitrievskaya Saturday.

The funeral meal is held after the service. On Dmitrievskaya Saturday, it is customary to set a rich table, which must include dishes that your deceased loved ones loved during their lifetime. The most important dish on the table was pies: the housewife had to prepare a lot of pastries with different fillings. In ancient times it was believed that this could appease and please the deceased.

During the funeral meal, it was necessary to place a separate clean plate on the table, where each relative put one spoon of his food. This dish was left overnight so that the deceased could come and eat with his family.

Before parents' Saturday, on Friday, the hostess after dinner must clear everything from the table and lay out a clean tablecloth. Then re-set the table and place freshly prepared dishes. Thus, in ancient times, the deceased was called to the table.

On Dmitrievskaya Parental Saturday, the family of the deceased should remember only good things about him, share warm memories that are associated with the deceased. This way you let the soul of the deceased know that you still remember and love him.

Despite the fact that during many church events it is strictly forbidden to do household chores, this does not apply to Dmitrievskaya parental Saturday. On the contrary, on this day you should do a general cleaning and then wash yourself. Our ancestors always left a fresh broom and clean water in the bathhouse for the deceased in order to appease the soul of the deceased. The most important thing is that your household chores do not interfere with attending church.

On Parents' Saturday it is customary to go to the cemetery. The grave of the deceased needs to be put in order and cleaned. After this, pray for the repose of his soul.

On St. Demetrius Saturday, it is customary to feed the poor so that they pray for the soul of your deceased relative.

What not to do on Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday

On this day it is forbidden to scold the deceased. You should remember only good things about them, otherwise you may anger their soul.

It is believed that it is strictly forbidden to remember the deceased with alcoholic beverages. However, if there is such a tradition in your family, then try to do it in moderation. The souls of the deceased may become angry due to drunkenness during the funeral meal.

Also, during remembrance, you should not laugh or sing songs. Despite the fact that the holiday is not of a mourning nature, do not forget that on this day you remember loved ones who are no longer among the living. Therefore, fun will be inappropriate.

If your deceased relative committed suicide or was not a believer during his lifetime, then you will not be able to remember him in church and light a candle for the repose of his soul. In this case, you can pray for him at home.

It is probably difficult for each of us to come to terms with the death of our loved ones, but their soul is always with us. In order for our loved ones to feel peace in another world, it is necessary to read memorial prayers for the deceased. We wish you and your family health, and don't forget to press the buttons and

27.10.2017 05:10

Like most Orthodox events, the Nativity Fast involves certain restrictions. They must be followed in order to...

Parents' Saturdays are days of special remembrance of the dead, when with our prayers we can provide great help to our family and friends who have passed on from earthly life. Five of them are reserved for commemorating deceased relatives, two more and the memorial services performed at the same time are called ecumenical. Parental Saturdays require the observance of certain rules that all believers should be aware of.

The deep meaning of parental Saturday

Please note that strong alcoholic drinks, such as vodka or cognac, are not accepted as donations.

If desired and possible, you can order a memorial service and after the prayers are completed, you are allowed to visit the cemetery, tidy up the grave, replace the flowers, thereby showing that you are preserving the memory of your loved one.

How to spend the rest of the day on Parents' Saturday and is it possible to clean up? Archpriest Alexander Ilyashenko for the online publication “Orthodoxy and Peace” answers this question this way: the ban on cleaning the house on this day is nothing more than superstition, the day, of course, needs to start with visiting the temple, performing prayers, visiting the cemetery, and then If necessary, you can perform your usual household chores.

Another important question that concerns believers is whether it is possible to baptize a child on parental Saturday? Hegumen Alexy (Vladivostok diocese) and other priests of the Russian Orthodox Church remind us of a simple rule - you can baptize a child on all days without restrictions.

During the period of Lent in 2019, the following parental Saturdays fall:

• March 23 - Parental Ecumenical Saturday of the second week of Lent
• March 30 - Parental Ecumenical Saturday of the third week of Lent
• April 6 is Parental Ecumenical Saturday of the fourth week of Lent.

P.S. Prayer for the deceased is the sacred duty of every Christian. A great reward and great consolation awaits the one who, with his prayers, helps a deceased neighbor receive forgiveness of sins.

Parents' Saturdays are held eight times throughout the year. These days, believers remember the dead. You can remember your relatives and friends who have passed into another world on other days. Most of the dates on which Parent's Saturday takes place are not constant, but are located on the calendar relative to the great church holidays.

These include the following:

• meat soup Saturday (occurs a week before Lent);
• three Parental Saturdays during the period of fasting (2, 3 and 4 weeks);
• Dimitrievskaya Saturday (before November 8);
• rainbow (9th day after Easter, invariably falls on Tuesday);
• Trinity Parents' Saturday (the day before the Feast of the Holy Trinity);
• commemoration of fallen soldiers (May 9).

Saturdays of remembrance of those who introduced themselves are special. They are called parental, due to the fact that all the deceased went to their parents and ancestors. Sincere prayer for departed relatives and friends helps their souls to cleanse.

How to spend Parents' Saturday?

On all days of remembrance of the departed, Orthodox Christians go to churches and ask in prayer to give peace to the souls of those who have passed away. They also bring sweets and cookies for remembrance, which the ministers will distribute to parishioners, and hand out notes with the names of the deceased for subsequent mention in church prayers. Those who did not come to the temple at home with an open heart read the funeral prayer and the 17th kathisma for the deceased.

After the service, believers visit the cemetery, clean the graves and decorate them with flowers. Upon returning home, a memorial meal is held. The whole family must be present. During fasting, fasting food should not be placed on the table.

What can't you do on Parents' Saturday?

There are many superstitions associated with prohibitions on memorial day. It is not forbidden to do housework and gardening these days, but only after going to church and reading the funeral prayer.

Most believers, when visiting a cemetery, pour alcohol into a glass at the grave or pour vodka on it, believing that if the deceased liked to drink, then they are helping him. This is unacceptable, since the soul of the deceased may suffer for the sin of drinking wine even after death.

You cannot have a feast or get drunk in a cemetery. There is an opinion that the wake of the deceased is an opportunity to drink a glass of other alcohol, but this is not so. The plight of the departed cannot be alleviated by this action. Only conscious prayer can convey our love to loved ones. Also not allowed on Parents' Saturday:

• swear;
• get drunk;
• to swear;
• speak ill of the deceased;
• grieve and cry.

It is important to know that remembering does not mean being sad. To remember means to pray. The soul cannot die, it passes into another world - which one depends on the person during life. If he sinned, then his soul will suffer and languish. Only prayer, which is read by loved ones with special trepidation, will help save her from this. Therefore, every parent’s Saturday it is necessary to remember your loved ones with prayer from the bottom of your heart. The one who reads it conveys love and gratitude that he could not give to his loved one during his lifetime.

The Orthodox Church sets aside special days to commemorate the dead. They are called parental Saturdays. There are five Saturdays for remembering deceased relatives and two special ecumenical Saturdays. Few people imagine what exactly needs to be done at this time: either go to the cemetery, or go to church. A church-going relative told me what parents' Saturday is. I didn’t know what days to remember my relatives, how to do it correctly, what to bring to church for services. Many believers don’t know this either, so I decided to talk in detail about the tradition in my article.

In the Ten Commandments, a special place is given to honoring parents. The Orthodox Church teaches veneration not only of living parents, but also of the deceased. This is due to the belief that the souls of the deceased need our prayerful intercession, because only the living can be heard by God and the saints.

How are parental Saturdays different from ecumenical Saturdays? On parental Saturdays we remember our deceased relatives, and on ecumenical Saturdays we pray for the entire Orthodox world.

Funeral prayers

What is the significance of a funeral prayer for the soul of the deceased? After his death, a person cannot influence his destiny, repent of his sins and change anything. Therefore, the dead need our prayerful help, receiving God's blessing from every candle placed in their memory and funeral prayer read. This is not just a tribute to the memory of the deceased, but all possible help to his soul.

Sinful souls who did not have time to repent during their lifetime especially need prayer support. Relatives can beg God for mercy and leniency for them; prayers and petitions will certainly be taken into account at the Last Judgment.

Worship in the church

On parental Saturdays it is necessary to take part in the liturgy in church. You need to come to the service in advance in order to have time to leave a note with the names of the deceased, who will be remembered by the priest in prayer. Next, you should buy candles to put on the eve before the Holy Crucifixion. The candlestick for funeral candles is square in shape and stands near the Crucifixion.

If you do not know the words of the funeral prayer, you can say the following words:

Treats are left on the funeral table: gingerbread, rice, sweets, apples. It is also customary to distribute food to other people in memory of the deceased. Many parishioners leave money in churches, making feasible donations. If parent's Saturday falls during Lent, then Lenten foods are brought to the funeral table and Cahors is left.

Vodka and other strong alcoholic drinks are not placed on the funeral table; Cahors is church wine.

On memorial days, a memorial service for the deceased is also ordered. After the liturgy, parishioners visit the graveyard to honor the memory of their relatives at the graves. It is very important not to forget to visit the graves of your loved ones, regularly clean them of leaves and grass, paint the gate and change the flowers in the vases.

Memorial days

Since memorial Saturdays coincide with transitional Orthodox holidays, they fall on different dates. Therefore, you can find out the dates of Saturdays in the Orthodox calendar for the current year. Memorial days fall on:

• Meat-free Saturday;
• Trinity Saturday;
• Dmitrievskaya Saturday;
• Great Lent.

These dates are intended to remember all believers, including their relatives. These are six special days (there are 3 memorial Saturdays during Great Lent) when it is necessary to ask for mercy from God and intercede for the deceased. Among them, Trinity and Meat Saturdays are considered universal.

On May 9, we remember all those who died in the Great Patriotic War.

Saturdays for remembering relatives fall on the eve of fasting:

• Rozhdestvensky;
• Petrova;
• Uspensky.

At this time, deceased relatives are remembered and alms are distributed. The Orthodox Church has a negative attitude towards drinking alcohol during commemoration of the dead; there is also no need to leave memorials on graves.

On the eve of Saturday, on Friday, the Great Requiem Service (Parastas) is held, on Saturday the Funeral Service is served, and after it a general requiem service is served. You should know that the memorial service is an all-night service, not a daytime service.

Trinity Memorial Day

This is the time of remembrance of all deceased Orthodox Christians. A special feature of this day is prayer for unrepentant sinners whose souls are in hell. After the service, believers visit the graves of their relatives, bring flowers and birch branches, and arrange a memorial meal (eggs, pancakes, kutia). It is customary to give alms and leave donations for the church.

On parental Saturdays, suicides cannot be commemorated, except on Trinity Saturday.

What prohibitions exist these days? Many people believe that they cannot work. However, the church fathers do not prohibit doing necessary housework; it is only not recommended to do hard dirty work. You should also not drink alcohol or indulge in outright sin (fighting, swearing, wishing harm on others).

Meat-eating

Big Parents' Saturday on the eve of Great Lent refers to universal commemorations. At this time, all Orthodox deceased are commemorated. This is one of the fundamental memorial days, because many Christians could be buried without repentance and the Orthodox funeral rite.

On this day, Orthodox believers can taste meat dishes for the last time. Lent begins next Sunday.

The history of Meat Empty goes back to ancient times, when the first Christians remembered brothers and sisters tortured by pagans. Many of the martyrs for the faith were not buried in a worthy manner, so the living offered prayers to heaven for them.

This Saturday you can intercede for those who died a sudden death without repentance. God gives a chance to gain the Kingdom of God to such souls who did not have time to find eternal grace during the days of earthly life.

Radonitsa

This parental Saturday falls on the ninth day after the Resurrection of Christ. There is no specific date for Radonitsa, since it is tied to Easter. Radonitsa in Orthodoxy is considered a special memorial day and is considered the Easter of the dead. The living congratulate the deceased on Easter, because it is on this day that the resurrection of the dead is expected. Women cook kutya, bake pancakes and paint eggs red.

Radonitsa is considered a bright holiday, so a good mood should remain after it.

Dmitrievskaya

This day of remembrance falls on the eve of November 8, it was established by Dmitry Donskoy after the victory on the Kulikovo Field. Every year, Orthodox believers remember those who died in battle, because in those days more than 250,000 Russian soldiers were killed. Over time, Demetrius Saturday became a universal commemoration of all believers who suffered for the Orthodox faith. Dmitrievskaya Saturday completes the annual cycle of memorial days.

Saturdays of Great Lent

During Lent there are three parental Saturdays, falling on the second, third and fourth weeks. On these memorial days, Orthodox Christians can take personal part in the general prayer for the deceased.

Questions

How to spend a parent's Saturday evening, is it possible to do household chores? In the evening, a person can do his usual things; the church does not impose any prohibitions. If someone told you that you should not clean the house or work, then this is a superstition.

The church fathers do not approve of a strong seal and longing for the deceased.

Is it permissible to baptize a baby on parenting days? There is no ban on receiving the Sacrament of baptism on any day of the year, so you can safely baptize a child on memorial dates.

How to properly set a funeral table in a house on Radonitsa? Be sure to put extra cutlery for the deceased, and place eggs, cookies, and sweets on the windowsill. A spoonful of food from all the plates was placed on a plate for the deceased and this dish was left on the table until the morning. Previously, a bathhouse was heated for the deceased and a clean towel was left. It is believed that the deceased can come and wash away their sins with water.

Is it necessary to visit the cemetery on memorial days? The Church Fathers teach that it is more important to take part in the Divine Liturgy than to go to the cemetery. If it is not possible to attend the liturgy, you can offer prayers at home.

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Orthodox traditions devote great space and attention to the manifestation of memory of the deceased. The Church Charter defines special days when the dead are remembered in a special way. Many are interested in how to correctly perform the rituals associated with these dates, what cannot be done on parental Saturdays and what is allowed, and how to properly remember the deceased.

What is parental Saturday in Orthodoxy?

Despite its name, Parents' Saturday is not intended to commemorate only one's deceased ancestors. This term goes back, rather, to the concept of “the human race”: the Holy Church believes that the main meaning of memorial days is the spiritual unification of all Orthodox Christians, both deceased and living.

There are several special days in the Orthodox calendar to commemorate the dead. The most revered of them are those that precede important religious holidays: Maslenitsa and Trinity. They are part of the liturgical circle and are associated with the celebration of Easter, which does not fall on a specific date. Therefore, the dates of these parental Saturdays also change from year to year.

Memorial days in 2019: table

Among all these dates, Ecumenical (great parent) Saturdays are distinguished: Meat Saturday (a week before Lent) and Trinity, when the Orthodox Church prayerfully remembers all baptized Christians.

On these Saturdays, special services are held in churches - ecumenical memorial services.

Separately, it should be said about such a memorial day as Radonitsa, the first church-wide commemoration of the deceased after Easter. It is celebrated on the 9th day after Christ's Sunday, so it always falls on Tuesday, not Saturday. However, Radonitsa is considered one of the most significant days of remembrance in Orthodoxy.

What not to do on Memorial Day

Parents' Saturdays are days of a special emotional state, manifested in prayers for the bright repose of the souls of the deceased, careful and grateful memories of departed loved ones.

• You can’t quarrel, heatedly sort things out, or make a scandal.
• Excessive grief is also not approved: church canons recommend moderate expression of sadness for the deceased.
• In addition, it is impossible to refuse any help to people in need on memorial days.

The main thing: respect the memory of the deceased

There is a belief that on parental Saturdays you should not pay attention to your own appearance: dye your hair, get a haircut, manicure or nail extensions, or spa treatments. In fact, the church charter on this matter expresses neither prohibitions nor blessings. Both for church-going people and for atheists there is their own measure of their actions: how appropriate they are, how necessary they are on memorial days, how they correspond to Christian commandments.

Many folk traditions, closely related to religious canons, in modern conditions have lost their original meaning, such as the ban on working on parent’s day. God pleases any work, and if a home needs cleaning or the land requires watering, the Church does not forbid the performance of these tasks. The most important thing is that they do not contradict the main content of parental Saturday - manifestations of respect for the deceased and memory of them.

What needs to be done

The main events of parental Saturday are visiting the temple and cemetery.

According to the Orthodox church canon, people come to church twice - on the eve of the memorial day and on the morning of parental Saturday. On Friday there is an evening service, including the celebration of the Great Requiem Service and the reading of Parastas (funeral Vigil). The next morning, the Divine Liturgy and general memorial service are held in the church. Parishioners should come to the temple in advance, before the start of the service, in order to have time to submit a note of repose indicating the names of loved ones given to them at baptism.

According to established traditions, people do not go to church without offerings - donations for the needs of the parish and to help the poor - which are placed on a table specially installed for this purpose. As a rule, these are products: their set is determined depending on the content of the holiday and the current post. If parent's Saturday is celebrated in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th week of Lent, they do not donate fast food - eggs, dairy and meat products, confectionery products. On other memorial days, they are appropriate, as well as sweets, fruits, Cahors wine, which is then used for the liturgy. At the end of the service, upon leaving the church, it would not be amiss to distribute alms to those in need: such a gesture of mercy corresponds to one of the most important dogmas of Christianity, which calls for helping one’s neighbors.

Helping those in need is in the heart of every Christian.

After visiting a temple, they usually go straight to the cemetery, although many clergy are unanimous in the opinion that going to the resting places is more desirable than obligatory. It is recommended to do basic cleaning on the graves of loved ones on Parents' Saturday, so that on the memorial day you can limit yourself to a small amount of work: wipe the gravestone, replace wilted flowers, remove weeds. The main purpose of coming to the cemetery is to light and place the blessed candles or lamps you brought with you at the head of the grave, to pray for the deceased, and to say kind, sincere words about them. If possible, you can invite a priest to perform a litia, a short funeral service.

It is permissible to remember the deceased near the grave by sipping a little wine and eating a modest amount of food. It is categorically condemned by the Church and insults the memory of the deceased when a funeral service in a cemetery becomes a wide feast with a copious libation of alcohol. It is best to leave some of the food and sweets you bring with you to the cemetery on the tables set up near the graves, and distribute the rest to those begging.

The main commemoration takes place at home, in the family circle. It is traditional to begin a meal with prayer, which is especially important for those who, for some reason, were unable to attend a church service. An empty plate and glass must be placed on the table, symbolizing the invisible presence of the deceased. You need to behave with dignity: do not show excessive grief, but also do not have noisy conversations. The best tribute to gratitude to a loved one is to remember his good deeds in earthly life, and how he was especially dear to his family.

Dmitrievskaya Parental Saturday and the traditions associated with it are described in the proposed video.

Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday and related traditions (video)

Although external manifestations of memory of the deceased are an important ritual component of parental Saturdays, the main meaning of these days is the bright prayers and high thoughts of believers.