In truth, what we talk about happens to us. And sometimes we talk a lot, and without thinking at all about the meaning of what was said. There are many smart books and different rules on how, when and what to talk about.

But these are the rules... They are boring and we follow them only sometimes - when it is very important for us to follow them. The situations for applying these rules are different, but they stress us out quite a lot. And therefore, in everyday life we ​​easily deviate from these rules.

It seems to us that we are simply living at this time. Just talking with a friend or girlfriend, just throwing out emotions, just talking about nothing. And sometimes we also know how to simply “show off” or simply “play to the public.”

And all this time, it turns out, we are putting together our own lives. From carelessly thrown words, from fragments of negativity or denial of the obvious. And we also build it, life, from sincere joy, from smiles and warm glances... But now we are not talking about them. Now we are talking about the words with which we cover our lives, turning it from a beautiful holiday carpet into tattered patchwork quilt.

From the most recent dialogues

“The kind of men I need simply don’t exist. They don’t exist! They haven’t been born yet.”--- This woman has been alone for a long time. She wants to get married, but the chances of starting a new family are equal... you yourself understand what they are equal to.

“Oh, now such women have gone. What kind of relationship can you have with them? They are predators and only want to take, or rather, snatch. That’s why I only focus on sex with them. And only with those who do not behave like predators.”--- This is said by a man who has had a lot of trouble with predators and is now licking his emotional wounds with casual sex. Can you imagine how “lucky” his women will be?

“What are you talking about! What kind of money do I have?! To have money, you have to become a criminal. But all I want is some kind of roof over my head and a little food. I don’t want anything else.”--- Of course, this man is no stranger to guile. In fact, deep down, he dreams of status and a new car, and he dreams of an apartment in a prestigious area at night. But this is how things work out for him - he survives on petty earnings and continues to “become poor.”

“Clients? Oh, of course, I have them. But they are such misers that you won’t get any income. I’m tired of throwing pearls in front of them. You spread yourself out on the floor in front of them, and they, the bastards, take money away from your competitors.”--- These are the revelations of one business woman who dreams of big profits in her business and hates her clients. Comments also suggest themselves.

But there are even more terrible sayings...
“May your children not give you bread in your old age!”--- This phrase, said by a mother to her 10-year-old son, once simply shocked me. When I began to explain to her that her words were tantamount to cursing her own child, the lady was perplexed. Unfortunately, the words came back to the mother - the son grew up, left for another country and the mother was forgotten.

Be careful with your words. Everything you say can become part of your life without you noticing.

Want to test yourself? Try to record your conversation (preferably more than one) when you talk about how you are doing or about your plans, or evaluate what is happening. Listen to it after recording and write down what definitions you give, what mood you have in the conversation. You will be able to learn a lot about yourself after this exercise and about the reasons for the events in your life.

The situation is not as sad as it might seem. To change it, it is enough to replace the wording with positive ones, watch your words and maintain a positive attitude. This is very easy to do if you start changing your life in the company of a friend or girlfriend. You can help each other by watching the wording and giving the agreed upon signs.

In your own words, paint a beautiful picture of your own life. May she please you and give you happiness!

Not every person can say that he lives the way he wants, has found what he was looking for, and his life fully corresponds to his dreams. Often the gap between desired and actual is so great that it can lead a person to despair and deprive him of the desire to live further. In this article we will figure out how to live when everything is not the way you want, how to find the strength to move on and not give up.

It all depends on your perception

There is a wonderful theory that a person’s problems do not come from real circumstances, but from his attitude towards them. In fact, in most cases, we ourselves determine what is good and bad for us, and this may absolutely not correspond to the real state of affairs.

If we realize that the size of our problem usually depends on our perception, then life will become much easier. After all, someone can spoil the mood of an entire team at work due to the morning traffic jam, and someone can smile when they find walls painted by a child in a newly renovated apartment. Remember: if you turn failure into tragedy, its size increases accordingly. Well, complaints, tears, hysterics and nerves will definitely not change anything!

You can find happiness every day in the simplest things and enjoy life. Or you can spend your existence on eternal reasoning like “If only I had this...”, “When I can earn so much, then...”, etc. And if you don’t have it and don’t earn it?.. You no one will give you a chance to live your life again, use every moment to see it as a reason for joy. Let every pleasant little thing become the reason for your good mood for the whole day, and let every failure be perceived as an inevitability that has already happened. Of course, you should learn from mistakes, but you shouldn’t consider them as a harsh reality that prevents you from moving on with your life.

Decide on your desires

Many people ask the question: “How to live when everything is not the way you want?” Do they know exactly what they want? Write down your desires on a piece of paper, starting with the most cherished and ending with everyday little things. Each of them requires a separate analysis, so spend enough time on it to understand what you lack to implement it and what you do daily to achieve it.

Very often, many are surprised to discover that they do not contribute in any way to the realization of their desires. But, you must admit, it’s stupid to wait for a fairy with a magic wand to do it for you. Of course, who doesn’t want to wake up as a millionaire in bed with your loved one, afford to buy whatever your heart desires, and enjoy a carefree life by the ocean?

Okay, let’s say the dream is unlikely to come true so quickly, but living on some picturesque island is quite possible. Not enough money? Make money. How? Just like others who, in your opinion, are absolutely happy. Lead by example and follow your goals. A purposeless existence is a slow death. And remember: the stronger the desire, the more likely it is that it will come true.

Who is guilty?

Very often, when we don’t live the way we want, we tend to blame the whole world, but not ourselves. As a rule, these are reflections in the spirit of “I was born in the wrong country,” “I should have lived in a different era,” “Not fate,” etc. We have to disappoint you: a time machine has not yet been invented. So it is not given to any of us to be born again in another place and at another time. But we have the power to build our lives according to our own scenario.

Believe me, the fact that you cannot live the way you want is not the fault of the country, the state, politicians, society or your loved ones. Of course, in specific issues, all this can act as a kind of obstacle to your actions. But as for life in general - never! The problem of the absence of the desired reality lies only in the person himself. And the sooner he understands this, the easier it will be for him to get rid of her.

What should I do?

Remember that a complete loss of interest in life, which you do not want or cannot fight, often leads to long-term depression. And it’s much more difficult to get out of this state than to try to find the meaning of life right now. If it is difficult for you to do this on your own, you should seek help from a psychologist: very often we are not able to identify the causes of difficult mental states ourselves. A specialist will help you reconsider this life position and come to harmony between desires and reality.

Do not forget that a person always creates his own happiness. As the famous saying goes: “If you want to be happy, be happy!”

There is an opinion that only time can heal even the most old and deep wounds. But few people agree to wait their whole lives to forget about problems and difficulties forever. That is why we present to you 23 ways to get back on your feet and get back to life, following which you will get rid of melancholy and blues.

Method number 1. Change your environment.

You definitely need to change your surroundings and environment for at least a couple of days. This will allow you to unwind and relax. It’s good if you have the opportunity to go on vacation, but if this is not possible, then you can simply go to the village or nature for a couple of days. Any change in your usual environment will allow you to refresh your thoughts and simply redirect them in a new beneficial direction.

Method number 2. Increase physical activity.

A strong, trained body has never hurt anyone; when you play sports, you don’t leave yourself a chance to despair and become despondent. Be sure to set a goal for yourself, and you will achieve it, you just have to want it. Your self-esteem will significantly increase if in the mirror you see a toned body, and not a limp piece of fat.

Method number 3. Analysis of the past life.

In a calm atmosphere, analyze your life, think about what contributed to your current state. What factors contributed to your anxiety and low mood. Try to make a list of goals for the near future, as well as long-term plans for the future. Under each goal, write down what will help you achieve it. Think about what areas of activity you can realize yourself in, and what additional training you should learn. Think of something to do for the future.

Method number 4. Make new useful connections.

Remember that any person in your life is not accidental. Whatever experience it brings, positive or negative, it is experience. If you feel that everything is not going the way you would like, then it’s time to change something in your life. Having changed the situation, begin to change your immediate environment, unnecessary friends and give up unnecessary connections. Because sometimes you just need to reconsider your attitude towards people and then you will completely feel the surge of strength from communicating with new interesting and useful personalities who will definitely help you become better.

Method number 5. Treat yourself and your body with care.

If you start to get sick, you immediately start taking medications, and the same happens with your emotional and mental health. Feed your day with new emotions and sensations, then you will be able to control your mood.

Method number 6. Change your external style.

By changing your appearance, you automatically change inside. Changes in the color and length of hair will certainly entail a change in the style of clothing, as well as the entire internal state. Don’t wait for change, change yourself and change the space around you.

Method number 7. Cut off all unnecessary things and people from yourself.

When everything changes in our lives and you think that everything is going wrong, it is time when you can get rid of unnecessary things and worries. Let go of all your troubles and just start life with a clean slate. It is possible that this particular push will give you the opportunity to change your usual place of work or simply terminate an old unnecessary connection and move to a new level of relationship. If earlier you were afraid to take this important step, now you can easily let go of this situation and enter a new life.

Method number 8. Forget past grievances.

Do not hold unnecessary evil within yourself, as this does not lead to anything good. Remember that you don’t need to look for any secret meaning in all the actions and actions of those around you. Just let go of old memories, live a new life with new people and new emotions.

Method number 9. Study the experiences of people who have gone through this.

It is not for nothing that there is a saying that it is necessary to learn from the mistakes of others. If you see that the people around you don’t understand you at all, then it’s time to look for like-minded people who can not only understand you, but also support you at the right time. It is best to look for such people on specialized forums, where you can simply read their stories, as well as find out how they got out of them.

Method #10: Clean out your home or garage.

If you are tired of everything, and it seems that everything is going awry, but you are terrified of making colossal changes in your life. You can start small, just do a good general cleaning at home or in the utility room. At the same time, do not feel sorry for old things, carefully weigh their significance, do not be afraid to throw away unnecessary junk, especially if you think that you will not need it! Pay special attention to those rooms that you haven’t gotten around to before and you will notice that your thoughts will line up in a more correct logical chain.

Method number 11. Remember those who were by your side all the time and loved you.

Always remember those who did not turn away from you in your difficult life situation. And even if you already thought that everything was going wrong and no one needed you anymore, but having calmed down, you must realize that there is always at least one person devoted to you with you. Remember him, appreciate him. After all, this friend was with you in the most difficult moments of your life.

Method number 12. Follow a proper diet.

In a difficult period for you, when all the troubles fall on you from above and it seems that there is no end to them. The body stops experiencing joy and tries to eat away all its experiences and grievances. At such moments, you may completely lose control of your appetite and may gain a lot of weight, and this will make you even more upset and despondent. Therefore, stick to proper nutrition

Include more fruits and vegetables in your diet, as well as sweets and starchy foods, replace them with nuts and dried fruits.

Method number 13. Learn a new profession or complete courses.

Nowadays it’s not a problem to get a new additional specialty, it’s especially easy for girls - after all, there is such a large selection of additional areas: you can choose hairdressing courses, manicure courses, makeup and braiding courses. Do not think that all your new knowledge will not be useful to you at all; you can first train on your relatives and friends. But it is possible that this will become your life’s work. For men, there is also a large choice of additional specializations: you can master driving, radio - technical circle, or complete foreign courses.

Perhaps it is an additional area that will help you discover your hidden talent!

Method number 14. Learn to control the expenditure of your finances.

If you feel that you are tired of everything and you are losing control over your life, then how can you keep track of its financial component? Learn to draw up a spending plan, for this you need to understand exactly what needs you will need to direct your finances to. Set a maximum limit that you are willing to spend. Learn to leave a small amount of money for a rainy day. Such a financial cushion will protect you from unexpected and unplanned expenses.

Method number 15. Think about today and don’t think about the future.

When planning a business, we often try to find benefits or calculate the possible result. And when the planned bright future does not happen to us, we get upset and fall into a stupor, but we just need to live on and not get upset, because life does not stand still.

Never regret the time spent on your self-improvement and remember that everything you put into yourself will come back to you with interest.

Method number 16. Learn or complete learning a foreign language that is interesting to you.

By learning a foreign language, you can prove to yourself and the people around you that you can live and work in any conditions, even if it is another continent or country.

And besides, on any trip abroad you will feel more relaxed and freer. This means you can make new, interesting acquaintances with foreigners.

Method number 17. Learn to say no.

The most important ability that you must learn to have is the ability to say no. Just silently leave your offender or not dance to someone else’s tune, but having realized the betrayal, leaving everything behind, leave.

This skill will require a lot of endurance and fortitude from you, and you may not even be able to do it the first time. Just practice doing it in front of a mirror and you will definitely succeed.

Method number 18. Allow yourself to find happiness.

Many people are sure that all the misfortunes in their lives occur according to some predetermined program. But in fact, the whole point is in our head, it is in it that the idea arises that we ourselves are worthy of all troubles and misfortunes. Allow yourself to find your own happiness. As soon as a different program starts working in your head, you will immediately notice significant changes in a positive direction in your life.

Be more confident in yourself and you will definitely succeed!

Method number 19. Do not communicate with those people who annoy you and do not understand you.

It's no secret that there are people - vampires who will suppress you with their mood. Therefore, learn to fence yourself off from unwanted people. It is better to be surrounded by cheerful and carefree people. Don't be afraid that these people won't understand or will be offended by you. People who truly love you will always understand you. And if you are tired of everything, such people will always support you.

Method number 20. Get rid of the bad habit for 2-3 months.

It usually takes 21 days for a habit to become part of your life. But it is not possible to get rid of a bad habit in such a short period of time; this will require more time. At least 3 months. No one promises that it will be easy and comfortable for you. The main thing is to overcome it at first, then it will become much easier.

In addition to the enormous benefits for your health, you will gain free money that you can use for your hobbies or just entertainment. Just think about what you previously denied yourself.

Method number 21. Get rid of fears.

The best solution to getting rid of illnesses and illnesses is to rid yourself of the oldest fears and complexes. Just think how much confidence and strength such an act will add to you. And with what pride you will tell everyone that you were able to overcome your fear and your complexes.

Remember that even a small victory inspires big actions and accomplishments!

Method number 22. Know how to respect your past.

Only by comparing yourself with yesterday's self can you evaluate the progress of your accomplishments or actions. It is only thanks to the past that you became what you are now. Even if you only have a negative experience behind you, it is this experience that motivated you to achieve achievements, which means that you owe your present to the hardships in the past. After all, now you are a purposeful, educated, self-sufficient person who can proudly say that he made himself.

Method number 23. Learn to forgive yourself and everyone around you.

This is perhaps one of the hardest skills to accept. Usually, such an ability comes only with age, but once it comes, it remains with a person for life. You must realize that ideal people do not exist and you, including the simplest person, can make mistakes!

Open Book of Wisdom Ray X

Who is to blame or Why does everything happen the way it does?

Look around, reader, and look at what is happening: wars, crises, changes in political leaders, troubles at work, problems with children, troubles in families - quarrels, scandals, sometimes even with fights and breaking of innocent dishes. What else? Sometimes you manage to achieve what you want, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you feel deceived or offended, sometimes you feel alarmed and seriously worried about something.

There are moments (albeit very rarely, but they do happen!) when Luck even smiles on you, and on the wave of Luck you find yourself in the right place and at the right time. And sometimes Chance invades your plans and destroys them. What's the matter?

Why does what happens?

Maybe because someone really wanted it?

Or because “everything is God’s will”?

Or maybe because someone really didn’t want it (according to the so-called “law of meanness” or “law of the sandwich” - whichever you prefer)? Or is it karma (fate, fate, inevitability, predestination)?

Why?

TRUTH: Any (!) result appears only when there is not a single person with the Actual Intention “Not to allow this result to occur” and at the same time there are one or more people with the Actual Intention “to achieve this result.”

Do you have continuous failures in your life? This means that no one (including you, reader!) has the Real Intention “To prevent your failures” and there are people who create these failures of yours: you simply DID NOTHING to avoid getting into situations that you did not want.

Have you been robbed? This means that neither you nor anyone else had the Real Intention “To prevent the theft of your property,” and the thieves acted unhindered.

You are being manipulated and you are being deceived, which means no one (including you!) has the Real Intention “To prevent you from being deceived and manipulated,” and, naturally, no one is stopping the liars around you from lying to you and using you at their discretion . Sounds like tacit agreement, doesn't it?

And who suffers from this?

You, the reader, and perhaps your friends and loved ones.

If you, for example, (or someone else) had the Actual Intention “To prevent this from happening” - it wouldn’t happen, would it (for those who doubt: read the definition of ACTUAL INTENTION again)? So you can blame everyone around you for what is happening, but know: You are much more to blame for this than everyone else.

Why are you so much more to blame than others?

You have NOT figured out how your failures are created and who creates them. You allow these people to influence your life - hence your failures: You give these people the opportunity to act unhindered. And at the same time, do you still hope for something?

You, if you were robbed, didn't do ANYTHING in order to actually AVOID (not just “try to avoid”!) theft. Little of, You DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to be robbed! you didn't hold the curtains on the windows were constantly closed, and your property was visible from the windows of the house opposite “in full view” - look, choose what you like, look for a buyer and plan the theft to your health! you brought guests to your home, who then DEFINITELY (!) told all their friends about what they saw at your place: a very good way to advertise your property! You were bragging with your acquisitions and purchases in front of friends and acquaintances - advertising simply “splashes with lights”: it is impossible to resist telling someone else the news that you have a diamond ring! And than, You wear very nice clothes, and it immediately becomes clear to anyone: in this person’s apartment there will definitely be something to profit from!

TRUTH: If you do not have some kind of conscious Actual intention, you ALWAYS (!) have the exact opposite unconscious Actual intention.

Without having the Real Intention “to avoid undesirable results in your life,” you thereby have the Real Intention opposite to this: “to have and experience undesirable results in your own skin.”

And if you yourself do not have a Real Intention to avoid problems for yourself, do you really seriously hope that your happiness will be more valuable to someone than everything else? If you don’t value yourself, don’t take care of yourself, don’t respect yourself - do you really think that SOMEONE will value, take care of, respect you more? If you are not your own friend, who can protect you from problems and troubles?

Who can stop you from being a drug addict if that is what you want? NOBODY!

Who can stop you from dying if that is what you want? NOBODY!

Who can stop you from having troubles if you yourself constantly “run into them”? NOBODY!

A person becomes surprisingly inventive if he really wants to achieve something.

Who is to blame or why does everything happen the way it does? Now we want to teach you to SEE some ACTUAL moments in life that seem to be “in the shadows”. But you and I, with our ability, are quite capable of SEEING “in the pitch darkness”, which was created from lies