How painful it is when your loved ones betray you. Wise sayings and phrases about betrayal. Lack of true love

Close people hit you the hardest; you trust them with your most secret things, and in return you receive betrayal and prolonged depression. Everyone wants to believe in the sincerity of feelings, but what to do when fate has prepared a test? Betrayal cannot be prepared for, it cannot be cured with medication, and it cannot be erased from memory. How to cope with pain and despair without seeking help from a psychologist? Let's try to figure it out together.

5 ways to cope with the betrayal of a loved one

Don't hold back your emotions
Don't turn off your phone, avoid friends, or hide under the covers wishing the pain would go away. Bitterness and resentment will not leave you until you drive them away yourself. Call a friend and speak out well, shout, break plates, but don’t withdraw into yourself.

Put on an interesting movie that you probably won't watch, but let it play in the background. Order a pizza and buy a bottle of wine, food brings comfort. If you want to be alone, take a notepad and write what you want to say to the traitor. If this method does not work, get a parrot and communicate with it. They are cheerful, sweet and talkative creatures.

It is important to understand that it is necessary to cry, otherwise the pain will burst out at the most inopportune moment. A person can endure a lot, but he can also break down if the tea is not hot enough. Now you have the right to show emotions, but do not forget about your family. Do not insult them and do not take out your anger, the anger should go towards the culprit.

Step away from what's happening
Have you cried and smeared mascara on your friend's shoulder? Not scary. It's time to step back from what is happening and imagine that the nightmare did not happen to you. There is not only a betrayed lover in the world, think about your relatives, visit old friends. Finally, go to work and chat with your colleagues.

If possible, buy a ticket to the sea; even a three-day tour will do. Who knows, maybe a sexy stranger and an unforgettable holiday romance are waiting for you there. Now it is important to abstract yourself, move what happened into the background. Do you think it’s easier said than done? Try it! Do something you haven't done before. Any type of extreme sport that will help release adrenaline is suitable. Ride horses, fly in a wind tunnel or visit a water park.

For the first few months after the incident, try to spend time in a company that is not associated with the hero of the “celebration.” In this way, you will eliminate constant memories when everything was fine and no one betrayed anyone. Also during this period, try to communicate more with friends than with best friends, so that there is no temptation to regularly discuss the “goat” who forced you to go through the seven circles of hell.

Switch your attention
Again, easy to say! However, you have to try it. You probably have savings put aside for a rainy day, now it's time to use them. Go shopping, buy beautiful lingerie, shoes and a branded handbag. Expand your social circle, accept an offer for a meeting that you couldn’t decide on before. Sign up for English courses, change your hairstyle or rearrange your apartment.

If the break is final, put the photo frames away, cut up his things with scissors and throw them in the trash. Eliminate all reminders of what happened. Are you registered on VKontakte? Remove the traitor from your friends and add to the blacklist so as not to track his last visits and not to traumatize your own psyche.

All of the above is obvious, however, for unknown reasons, some girls poison their souls by shedding tears and looking at photos together. There is no need to do this now. When the bitterness passes, you will be able to look at the photographs in detail, but without a storm of negative emotions. After the black stripe comes a white stripe, higher is the nose!

Face it
Stop lamenting and feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to figure out the reasons for what is happening. Constantly repeating “I didn’t deserve this, how could he do this, you bastard...” will not lead to anything good. Take what happened for granted, it’s not for nothing that they say “What is not done is for the better!” Stop thinking that you are not appreciated and loved, look for problems in yourself. In such a situation, there are always two people to blame, don’t blame everything on the guy.

Analyze your past actions and deeds, think, maybe you made a mistake somewhere? Have you stopped taking care of yourself? Have you regularly denied your companion bed comforts? Stopped cooking or chatted with your ex on social media? It is not difficult to push a man into betrayal if the girl does not devote enough time to him.

Start with a clean slate
No matter how strange it may sound, start a new life. The time for tears and self-flagellation has passed, the time has come to act. Be polite and condescending to men, do not put everyone under the same brush. Girls who do not respect men and do not know how to appreciate them, as a rule, remain lonely.

Have you met a worthy person? Take your time, there is no need to jump into the pool headlong. The wounds are still fresh, you risk transferring them into a new relationship. Go on dates, have fun, don't limit yourself to little things. Enjoy your freedom while you can. Be happy, beautiful and desirable!

Psychological techniques

Keep a diary
Buy a notebook and write down the good moments that happened during the day. Did the handsome stranger smile? Let's write it down! Gave flowers for no reason? Great! Did you give up your seat on the minibus? The world is not without good people!

Focus exclusively on positive things that make you smile and glow with happiness. Create a cozy atmosphere around you and energize those around you.

Go to a psychologist
Increasingly, modern men and women are turning to professionals who can help them understand their own thoughts. The trend came from America and is gaining rapid momentum every year. There is no need to be embarrassed to visit a psychologist, he is not a psychiatrist. You only need to be afraid if you sign up for a session with the latter.

Prohibited tricks

No need to be a bitch
A common mistake many girls make is a disdainful attitude towards others as a result of the betrayal they have suffered. Don't be like them, there are worthy people left in the world. The light did not fall like a wedge on the former lover. Don't attack others, don't judge them, and don't interfere in other people's lives. Remain humane and reasonable so as not to lose those who are truly dear to you.

Now aggression can be directed at the male half of the population, however, not all of them are bad. There are those who know how to protect, appreciate and respect their beloved, you just haven’t met such a man yet.

In films where a guy betrays a girl, she whiles away the evenings with a bottle of tequila, drowning in what is happening. Everything is simpler in life. A drunk lady looks extremely unattractive: incoherent speech, crooked gait and constant lamentations about her pitiful fate. Do not forget that alcohol is a temporary measure; it will dull the pain, which will return in the morning along with a hangover. The maximum you can do is have a drink with a friend, she will stop you if you have too much.

Leave the past in the past
You should not regularly compare “before” and “after”. What has happened has passed. There is no need to imagine the development of events that would have occurred if you had noticed strange behavior earlier or prepared a delicious dinner on time. Turn off your imagination, stop developing a non-existent scenario. If you ignore this advice, you will exhaust your body, being in foggy thoughts. Live in the present and think about the future!

Don't know how to survive the betrayal of a loved one? Invite a friend over, drink wine with her and cry. You shouldn’t keep your emotions inside, otherwise they will burst out at the wrong moment. If it’s really bad, visit a psychologist, he will help you understand the situation. Go shopping, buy cool things that will be the envy of all your friends. Book a trip to the sea and start a holiday romance! Don't be upset, life goes on!

Video: how to forgive the betrayal of a loved one

How to survive betrayal? This event frightens almost everyone in a relationship, be it love or even close friendships. Fear is born from the need for personal identification, the experience of one’s personality as part of a larger one, and correlation with it. A common identification is “I am a member of a family union.” This is the existence of a “we”. If it suddenly turns out that a partner simultaneously belongs to another, this fact is perceived as a betrayal, an event when, without the knowledge of the other party, my social life was changed. Perceiving yourself as part of a whole, a group, even of two, is an important need. Therefore, it is clear why the blow of betrayal is so painful. When a partner has another “we” on his side, I become part of a union of three without consent.

Feel the value of your own life, which is the only one you have; it should not be wasted on worries and negativity. At the same time, examine the mistakes of the past. Any problem in a relationship is created by the partners together. Understand the mistakes so you don't make them in your next relationship. Therefore, you need to have an attitude towards betrayal that perceives it as an experience in your life.

How to survive a friend's betrayal?

Betrayal causes great trauma to a person because it involves perfidy and the resulting loss of trust. Often, a woman’s betrayal consists of the fact that a friend was unable to keep important information entrusted to her secret, perhaps even deliberately using it against you. Betrayal, according to many surveys, is what people are most often not ready to accept in friends, because it destroys the friendship itself.

If a relationship with a best friend has gone through events that can be called betrayal, a woman often develops a feeling of hostility towards the world, an inability to trust anyone after this experience, especially women who are trying to establish close relationships. However, when a specific person betrayed you, this does not mean that there are only traitors around. In this case, hostility towards friendship is natural, it can be understood, accepted within oneself as an emotional residue from what happened, which will certainly pass if this trauma is psychologically processed.

How to survive the betrayal of friends? Try within yourself not to turn into an enemy, not to plan revenge, without trying to prove something, to win or destroy, then forgetting and giving up on the person. After all, such a strategy will not give anything to you or your friend who betrayed you. You will not receive true comfort from revenge, and the traitor who experienced revenge from you will only become embittered. You will only tighten the knot tighter.

Spiritual practices here teach not only not to return evil, but sometimes even to do good to the traitor. After all, by doing so you will collect “burning coals” on his head - this is nothing more than remorse. Only after experiencing them and succumbing to an awakened conscience can a person draw conclusions. Why do you need this? Think about the fact that a friend, if she was a truly important person to you, had value to you, you loved her. Revenge here will hurt you too, even if superficially it gives a feeling of triumph from retribution. The challenge is to live through these emotions, draw conclusions and, as opposed to getting stuck in painful experiences.

The betrayed friend did this out of weakness, perhaps from hidden feelings. And you, as a person who knows her well, will be able to understand this with sufficient attention and patience. Realize what expectations you had for your friend, why you brought this person closer to you, what good things she gave you. Thank your ex-girlfriend inside yourself for all the good things that happened in the relationship and let her go. Such a wise meta-position, which takes the weaknesses of human nature and all circumstances into account, will allow you to easily move past the pain of betrayal and retain the ability for future trusting relationships.

The difficult question is whether you should trust your betrayed friend in the future. Some women find the strength in themselves enough to figure it out and talk about what happened. The betrayer may even receive forgiveness if her act was somehow understood by the injured party. And if both women have realized the importance of the relationship, they can even continue communication and friendship after going through this experience. The decision to continue communication here is up to you, depending on the circumstances of what happened, the scale of the betrayal, its internal motives, the presence of repentance and its sincerity. Here, every woman will be helped by her inner ability to and even premonition - the famous female intuition.

Good afternoon We were together for 4.5 years. There were betrayals on his part, I forgave. We recently had a fight. and then it turned out that he again went to the woman with whom he had already been messing around a year ago, and did not directly tell me that they had broken up. I hid my relationship with her for unknown reasons. We didn’t communicate for a month. Then he began to show some signs of attention, to come up with all sorts of reasons to see each other. Once we agreed that I would come to him for things, I wrote an SMS saying that I would take a bottle with me, which I promised to give him a try back when we were dating, that is, the man made it clear that I would come not only for things, but also to sit. It was on Friday, the eve of his birthday. Well, we sat and stayed the next day, that is, he celebrated his birthday with me. He admitted that he still liked me, but for some reason he was drawn there. But when she called, he really asked that she not know anything and that we spent two days together. and she didn’t come to the doctor’s office, she seemed to feel bad. I have photos of them together for these two days, very compromising. Moreover, he lied to her that I only came to congratulate him, hoping to find him alone, and told her that I fell asleep at his place and he would go to spend the night with a neighbor, supposedly he didn’t want to me to sleep in the same room, and myself in the same bed. I don’t know what to do, send photos to her or not, she didn’t think about me when she did this, getting into a relationship. I can’t let go yet, I hold a lot of resentment. Help!

I am 57, of which I have lived in a happy marriage for 38 years, the last year due to circumstances I was in another city, but in June we spent a wonderful vacation together, in September he said that he could not come because of work, but he was waiting for me forever in December, And 2 weeks ago he said that since July he has been living with an intelligent and wonderful woman who is 12 years younger than me and is leaving because they are in a relationship. I screamed and cried and begged for an explanation of what happened. During these two weeks I’ve been going crazy. My whole heart and blood pressure are hurting, I don’t know how to survive this pain of betrayal, I can’t forget myself for a second, He doesn’t answer the phone, saying that this is how everything has grown together. How can you forget and erase me from your life at one moment and leave your faithful wife alone at that age. We have 2 adult children and we are successful people. My husband is 60 years old, I just wanted to live, and now I am turning into an old woman and fading before my eyes.

hello! I have a cry from the heart, my wife betrayed me! I’m just going crazy, constantly in tears, a drooping state and replaying the situation as she was with him, it gives me wild pain! I haven’t really slept for several months now, I can go without eating for several days! I’m for the family did a lot. and then this happened! I forgave her because I love her madly. She is like a second daughter to me! She says that she doesn’t love me, and I myself know that she didn’t have any special feelings for me! We lived for 10 years in marriage, I’m fighting to the end to save family and wife and she doesn’t care about me and my family! It’s impossible to live like that

Hello. I wonder how long these experiences will last, complete apathy, insomnia, no appetite. We dated for a total of 7.5 years, 5 of which everything was fine, then I began to notice changes in her behavior, although she had a crush on me, I didn’t like her right away. She always wanted to be there, they talked on the phone all day long, if not next to each other. There was a lot of kissing and everything else. After 5 years, changes began to occur: we saw each other less, called less, stopped kissing even when making love. When I asked her, she answered that nothing had changed, just a lot of worries appeared. I’ll be honest, I was jealous and immediately felt that she had someone. This went on for some time. I couldn't find a place for myself. Then she offered to break up because she believed that I had insanity and that I had annoyed her with my jealousy. I thought I was going crazy. I couldn’t work, I went to a psychologist, took medicine, nothing helped. She felt sorry for me and we met once every two weeks and then for an hour maximum. Intimacy was already humiliating for me without caresses and all that, and I saw how disgusted she was with making love to me. But I didn't know what to do. I didn’t have the courage to leave her, I was afraid of going crazy. But she wasn’t shy about sucking money out of me, I spent everything I could just so she would be nearby. And I still couldn’t forget her because her second cousin and also her best friend works in my department under my leadership. They communicate all day long and it made me feel uneasy. I can already say that I was interrogating her, like I wanted to find out if she had anyone besides me, she assured me that there was no one, it was just love. Time passed and I decided to hit on her sister in order to be closer to my beloved and know what and how. When I asked her to meet, she just laughed and explained how it would look, and especially since she views me only as a friend and her boss. But after a while I achieved her and we have been dating for six months now, but no one knows about it. She blames herself and worries that her sister will find out. It seems that I feel better. But then I learned from her that she had and had another for about three years. It turns out she was dating the two of us. This made everything worse for me and again I feel very bad. When will this love addiction go away? How could she betray our relationship? In general, from the very beginning of the relationship, she had me hooked, I didn’t want anything, and then I fell in love. And I don’t know how to get out of this nightmare? Time doesn't heal in my opinion. You read the forums and everyone advises psychologists to do something else in sports, to distract yourself. How can you do this if there is apathy for everything? I can no longer believe that this will pass. And what keeps popping into my head is how she makes love to him and her spirit freezes. I don't drink, I don't smoke. I can't get her out of my head. I tell her that I know that she has a man, she does not confess and says that I am talking nonsense. She calls her sister and asks who could tell me everything. In short, everything is very bad. I didn’t think this could happen for so long.

• Hello, Sergey. Your experiences will continue as long as you allow yourself to suffer. Accept the situation as it is.
  Your girlfriend is afraid (for her own personal reasons) to admit that she has someone else. The sister, knowing that your girlfriend was cheating on you, agreed to flirt and so on with you, realizing that her relative was doing the same.
  Would you like some advice: let everyone go, and start loving yourself: eat normally, sleep, work calmly and enjoy life. A habit is developed in 21 days, endure this period. Do something radical with your subordinates - load them with work, fire them over time, or look for another place of work so as not to see them.

hello, I took my wife and child (5 years old), she left her husband for me, they lived without any trouble for 9 years, we couldn’t have children of our own, I was 100% confident in her, half a year ago I found out about cheating, I was very worried , reconsidered my views, I thought that it was not enough, I wanted to make our family happy, in short, I was ready to forgive, but the end is far away, then I caught them over correspondence, then I found out that they were calling each other... and I don’t know what to do anymore, he is also married, I had to communicate with his wife if that's what they do. He doesn’t want to lose his wife, but May doesn’t give him peace either, or something. I don’t understand what to do, May assures me that all this is nonsense and she loves me, but sometimes she cries, talking about depression, although she is strong. People, tell me at least something, I’m carrying everything inside myself, there’s no one to share it with, I’m swearing at home... I’m already tired... I don’t have the strength...

And I have pain, resentment, anger and confusion. After 30 years of marriage, my husband left for my only “best” friend with whom I had been friends for 20 years. I’ve been trying to get out of this nightmare for a month now, I’m crying, roaring, sobbing, howling, my psychotherapist sat at the session crimson from my story, and I have a desire to forget everything and be born again. It hurts me a lot, I got used to my husband’s shoulder, to the presence of what I thought was a reliable friend, but I was left alone. They are together now and I am alone. Emptiness. Loneliness. Pain. and a tear in my eye. No joy. no desire to do anything. I forgave my husband because I love her very much, but I can’t. does not exceed.

Betrayal is not only a male vice, but also a female one!
The wife announced that the attempt at premeditated murder was natural
I was arrested and beat myself up and I had to think a lot!
And at that time the apartment was sold using false documents!
Thank God I got a lawyer who unraveled the tangle and put everything in its place!
There was a court release with a ruling of not guilty!
I couldn’t come to my senses for more than a year! I’ve lost the meaning of life, thank God I still have some core left!
Alas, the fear or experience remained for life!

• Stay strong Alex, stay strong no matter what!
  Don’t waste your health, you won’t get it back, thinking about the person who brought you pain and suffering! Everything will definitely get better! Distract yourself with work, hobbies, interesting people, books, etc., if you have children, then take care of them.
  This is the only way I set myself up, although there is also a lot of pain in my soul (almost my entire life is in my comments from November 1-17, 2017).
  And after what I had to go through, especially over the last 2-3 years, now I was left alone with my daughter, my husband was no more, it’s been six months now, drunkenness took its toll, my heart couldn’t stand it. Only in the last week before the disaster and the New Year, we spent a wonderful, friendly family, like a very long time ago, and that’s all... In my soul there is frustration, resentment, anger, and anger that he, being a healthy and strong man, brought everything to this , he wasted and did not save his life, ours and my daughter’s, no matter how we tried to reason with him, how much effort was put into saving the family, everything was in vain, happy days of life were lost, he broke further and further with pride, not listening to anyone, and at the same time pity to him, in spite of everything, because she loved deeply and forgave a lot, and not everything was bad at first, I remember a lot of good things - this makes it even more painful... With your mind you understand that everything was leading to this, but your heart screams that it could have been I couldn’t change everything, but I couldn’t do it alone.
  We must live on no matter what! Strength of spirit and good luck to both you and us!

Hello! Here I am with my pain to you. For many, my story will seem relatively easy and not worth attention, but I will write because it is very difficult for me. I won’t write too much, I’ll just write the main points. I have a second husband - 4 years of marriage. Child from his first marriage (10 year old son). It so happened that our relationship was built at a distance and continued after the wedding, although he promised to change everything in the very near future and that we would live normally together. We never argued, we talked on the phone every day. The first three years he came every 2 weeks (he was with us for 1-2 weeks). Then he needed to go home for several months. I moved out of my rented apartment to live with my mother for several months. He returned three months later, we went on vacation and he went home again. I started having questions and started looking for information. My God, what did I find... And I found out about another girl, and about my second wife in my homeland, and about the fact that she was already pregnant and about much more....
And now we haven’t spoken for almost a week, he’s now in another city. He doesn't call, and of course neither do I. I clearly understand that there can no longer be a relationship here; such betrayal with shameless lies and sweet flattery cannot be forgiven. But I feel so hurt and offended. I believed him unquestioningly... the son decided to call him dad... and then this... I know that it’s my own fault for allowing this to happen. But I can’t cope with the pain...

• Hello Tatiana. What happened was not your fault, there is nothing to blame yourself for. You just wanted to be happy. We recommend trying to let go of the situation. You should express all your disturbing thoughts and exciting emotions by writing a letter. Allow yourself a free flow of thoughts, you need to express what is painful. This technique helps the person to get out from within all the hidden feelings that haunt him and do not allow him to experience joy. In this way you can let go of all emotions.
  It is necessary to write what you want to express, without thinking about whether it is good or bad, without hiding, without concealing. It’s just not advisable to send it, since it won’t bring anything good; the meaning of the method here is different. After finishing writing a letter, you need to destroy it, tear it up, burn it or throw it away, and let go of exciting thoughts with it.

Hello.
My soul is so lousy that I have no strength. I don’t know how to pull myself together and move on with my life. My story is simple, probably like many others.
We lived with my husband for 12 years. Everyone said what a good couple they were, they were 100% confident in him, they were always not just husband and wife, but friends. For each of us, this was our second marriage. I don’t have children, he has a daughter who lives next door to his parents (we just have a 1-room apartment - his mother’s, and his parents have 3 rooms). Mom didn't need it. My husband and I are also classmates, it just so happened. We have common friends, we have everything in common. At one time I made good money, we bought everything for the house, renovations, and a new car. She put shoes on him. But it was a joy for me - I loved it so much. He also always treated me very well, we almost never even fought. I always told each other that finally, two halves were found. There was such joy. Only there were no children. Well, it didn’t work out, everything seemed fine. I mentioned IVF and said it was expensive. Maybe I was wrong then for not insisting or asking for my money. But something was always stopping me. I don’t know, maybe most likely he was not indifferent to vodka. No, I’m not a drunkard, but if I drink, I’ll go on a binge for several days. And a drunk person is a completely different person, but a sober person is gold. For the last two years I have moved to a new job, there is less money, more work. I was late at work and on business trips. But he understood and supported everything, always helped, waited and was happy when I was home. Of course, I relaxed, gained weight and thought that he would not go anywhere. I was just sure. He didn’t drink - it was the second time he was framed. And a year ago I began to talk more and more often about drinking, that the filing probably no longer works. But I didn't drink. Although I saw that his dad was the same! In general, after his birthday, he decided to exhibit himself to his godfather. And he came drunk. I was shocked, we quarreled. And in the morning he went to work and did not come home. In general, it turned out that he had a mistress for 2 years. We found him on the Internet when he was at home after surgery. At first he said he had nothing to do. I left for her because I thought I didn’t care about him. In general, he came three days later, asked for forgiveness, said that we were family and all that... Of course, I was shocked, but I forgave, I loved him very much. But a couple of days later he left again, because that young lady (although it’s hard to call her a young lady, she’s already 42) was pregnant. The next day it turned out that she was not pregnant, but we were already planning to adopt a child, all the documents had already been completed. But when he left, he said that when you have your own, you don’t need someone else’s. She's not pregnant. but he still didn’t come home. Drunken calls began about the division of property, especially cars. Although he knew whose money it was bought with. I was shocked. He came, but didn’t pick up the things. He will come, talk and leave. I persuaded, cried, begged. Uselessly. And one fine evening he came for good. Drunk. As it turned out later, they had a fight there. I sold my engagement ring. It was disgusting. But I accepted it. They didn’t give up the idea of ​​taking a child. In general, so as not to tell for a long time: he left like that, came back 2 more times after that. It turned out (she enlightened) that they had been in great love for two years, and had already gone on vacation twice, and that their love was eternal. In general, a month later he went to her again with his things, again being drunk. The next day, he called and told her to get out of the apartment and a bunch of different nasty things. And in the store with this madam I was already choosing a TV. I got ready and went to my parents, although I took some things from the apartment. Later they called me a thief. In general, I should have left only with my things. He brought this beauty to our apartment two weeks later. But he constantly talked to me: how she lives, what she does, how she gets used to everyday life. He drank and left her for several days. And I waited like a fool. By the way, I lost 25 kg due to nerves. When he saw it, he was surprised. Everyone started telling me how good I looked, but I only needed him and I was ready to forgive him, just to come back. Well, I don’t know why this is, although everyone convinced me to open up my words to him. He pulled the tires on the car for a long time. Allegedly, he was looking for money to give half of it, then he found it, but for some reason he was in no hurry to give it away. In general, we met and he admitted that he didn’t want to get a divorce, he just didn’t know how to send her away. They found a way out, money for her to rent an apartment. He also gave me a TV. We paid this loan for another six months. In general, I returned back. At first it was unusual, although I always considered this my home. I tried not to remember, although he himself did not let me forget - it turns out he was corresponding with her all the time. I felt sorry for her poor thing - she has no one here! I continued to correspond. And during this time I was in the hospital for a month, I was sick, I was running around, I was following his diet. But recently he started talking about vodka again, and they started arguing on this basis. He's all sort of on edge, irritated. One weekend, right before the New Year, I went to the hairdresser, and he just wrote. that he went for a walk, I wanted to relax, he wanted a drink. Well, he disappeared for three days, it turns out that he was with her. I called and wrote all day, I didn’t answer, I just wrote that I didn’t want to talk. And then, when he finally picked up the phone, he said that our restoration was a mistake, he doesn’t want to live with me, and loves her. But now he drinks. and problems at work. And the most important thing is that when he sent her back, he told all his friends. what she was like and what she said about his friends and their families. She just wanted to separate him from everyone, so that he wouldn’t be connected with the past, saying that we’re better off together and don’t need anyone, and we can make new friends. But not at 45? In general, I was left alone in the apartment, however, he said that he would go to her, but I could do it here. But I'm so sick. Again the same rake. Friends say, well, as much as possible. What if you can’t take it out of your heart???? I don’t depend on him financially (only morally), I have a job, I’m the director of a company, but I don’t understand why I allow myself to be treated this way. I'm afraid if he comes again, I'll accept it. But I understand that this is destroying me. Nerves to hell.

Hello! Dear girls, I wish everyone who is now in such a situation only strength and patience to get out of it, as well as myself, including. I have exactly the same story, only I’ve been married for not 4 or 10 years, but all 17, but it’s even more complicated. I also saw the correspondence, he said that he didn’t hold anything, he kicked him out, he came back, he accepted him, he hoped, he believed, he tried to somehow behave like a husband and father, but everything was somehow feigned, or so it seemed to me, because this worm is constantly gnawing , and there were stories with such correspondence with others before, but everything stopped and I tried to forget it and not remember, but it’s clear from the behavior that something is wrong, a woman always feels, blocking the phone explains a lot, intimate life has become less frequent, I’m addicted to alcohol, they talked about this topic, if there is another one, I’ll let you go, go, but he didn’t leave, he says there’s no one. But the drinking brought the family to the boiling point, and at one point they decided to check the details of the SIM card. He promised to delete her phone, not only did he not delete it, but he also communicated for the last 2 years, although there were periods when the lady herself, like a leech, could not keep up with him, just like SMS in the mornings and evenings, but he did nothing to her for weeks, at that moment when to improve relations with me, I had already filed for divorce, there was a divorce, but they filed an appeal, he asked to start over and return to the family, and then,
after a month 2, how my daughter and I went on vacation, and he stayed at home, he had no opportunity to go, to resume again, but not so often, but still.. For our wedding day, he decided to give me a painting written by a friend, with a plot about love, I don’t argue beautifully, but the next day he called and talked for a long time about his girlfriend and noticed that that day his mood was up. I don’t know how to explain the logic and behavior of men, but I can’t live with lies and betrayal anymore. She kicked me out because I was drunk, I had no strength, and then I found out this too. I love him myself, I’ve already forgiven him a lot, but I can’t do this anymore. In my soul, as everything was burned out, a 14-year-old daughter is growing up, she understands everything, she wants, just like me, to be a complete family, but to forgive him again is to completely trample yourself completely, if he seems to want to be with us, but continues to do so. I'm asking for some advice or support. Thanks for understanding.

• • Sveta, honey, hold on. I have almost the same thing. There is such a heaviness in my soul, there are simply no words. My daughter is older than yours, she already lives with her family separately, and I don’t even know how to tell her that we have problems in our family. I sympathize with you very much.

    • Thank you very much, girls, for your support and your feedback! I try to hold on, to be distracted by something, but everything is constantly spinning in my head, analyzing the past years, my and his behavior, soul-searching and the same question: why torment loved ones with your arrogance, ambition, humiliate them with lies, not hear anyone but myself? It’s better to calmly put all the dots and remain in front of each other as just people and parents, without humiliating anyone, or, if you decide to be with a family that has gone through a lot by your grace, has forgiven you for your mistakes, then respect the feelings of your loved ones and live like a human being!
      17 years of marriage, this is not 1 and 7. At first everything was somehow normal, he was simple, hardworking, assertive, didn’t drink (which attracted me), went in for sports, aspiration in life, I thought we’d slowly achieve everything in life ourselves . They met for love and considered him a reliable person. He is not at all rich, I am one daughter from a middle-income family, I have been working since I was 17 years old, with a higher education. image. We agreed on almost everything ready (mine): I had a dorm room with everything necessary for life, he had nothing - clothes and a pillow..., he moved in with me. Before that he lived with his mother. My parents always helped us with everything. His mother is tight-fisted, from the first day, both morally and financially, he warned that she was _wow! no matter who, as long as he feels good; they started talking about the wedding - she said it was too early for him to get married (23), and casually threw it at us - “you won’t live”, supposedly she lived poorly with his father (for the rest of my life this stuck in me, but I loved him and there was no thought of leaving , I just thought, why is she doing this), and she doesn’t need a wedding, and she has no money at all. The wedding was still held (in 2000) at the expense of my parents, they borrowed money from his friend for my husband’s suit, and my mother-in-law didn’t even buy a shirt for her son. He and I helped our parents pay for the wedding. I felt sorry for him from the very beginning, I thought that his mother’s life was not a success, well, okay, we can handle it ourselves, the main thing is together, side by side. He didn't leave my side.
      After 2 months after the wedding, the mother-in-law suddenly found the money to install a good front door, not costing 100 rubles, of course. I began to understand that my mother-in-law was good at cunning, lying, and was very proud, which continued to manifest itself later in life, only with greater impudence. In general, they lived normally, but gradually he could periodically get into trouble with his colleagues, he could not refuse them, he came very late, they began to quarrel about this. Gradually I gave up sports, and in my youth I was a master of sports. Here I consider myself guilty, I asked to be with me more often in the evenings when I went on maternity leave. Years passed, he got out of his room and into a block in the dorm, did the renovations himself, he has golden hands, he strived and learned everything, his daughter grew up, sometimes his mother-in-law helped him sit (the only thing for which I am grateful to her). It would seem that everything was fine, but gatherings with friends became more frequent, sometimes he would come after midnight, and he thought that this was in the order of things. Quarrels were only on this basis and more and more often.
      The child was 3 years old when he didn’t come to spend the night for the first time, and came on the 3rd day with a hangover and a request to be allowed in. She let me in. This was not the case in my parents’ family and I was not used to it. I thought my friends were confusing me, because I had never been like this before. I tried to reason with him, both in a good way and in a bad way, it worked for a certain period, and then again - friends, drinking, quarrels, my insults, he thought that I was finding fault, I was arrogant, we could not talk for days until I myself I'll take a step forward. I noticed that I rate myself very highly and do not consider myself to blame for my actions. With the advent of a cell phone, there were frequent phone calls and his answer - “you are mistaken”, I detected text messages and his other behavior, which clearly made it clear that my hubby likes to go for a walk. There were clarifications of the relationship, my distrust appeared. From time to time it was smoothed out, I tried to forget, I thought that I would go crazy. But then, the husband decided, without advice, to change jobs (at the factory he rose from an apprentice to a workshop foreman), the reason was low salary. I found a traveling job with a higher salary, but I needed a car, and I had to have a good one. But he wants that and that’s it, it doesn’t matter that he hasn’t driven for 14 years and is on credit! I began to discover it for myself from the other side. We made a compromise, the desire to sell the block in the future and buy an apartment overpowered me, so I convinced him and bought a simple car. Then he began to exchange 2-3 for a year, invested in them, sold and bought another, he only confronted me with the fact of this, motivating that I did not understand anything about this and it was time to sell. I had nothing to object to, except that the family should decide this together, but he didn’t listen. I worked like this for 2 years, took out a mortgage, bought a new apartment, just walls, did the renovations ourselves, not euros, but ourselves, my parents helped, moved, live and be happy, my daughter is growing up smart! But then, after a family vacation at sea, upon arrival he finds out that someone else is being hired in his place, the reason for which is still unclear, he worked without complaints, with pleasure. In general, I freaked out and quit. Then it went like this: changing jobs, sometimes he wasn’t happy there, sometimes he wasn’t happy there, unstable work - unstable income with all that it entails... despite the fact that having a mortgage, I didn’t think about how to pay (I have a small but stable income, I’m on one place for 20 years). He changed jobs, also presenting me with a fait accompli. I tried to restrain myself, I thought it was difficult for him, they are weak men, he won’t find a place for himself, we have to wait and endure. I found a job in the same area of ​​trade, not dusty - collecting applications from stores and transmitting them via the Internet to the base, stable salary, he was happy, I was happy too, BUT a year. He had plans to open his own business, I saw that he could earn extra money at the same time for start-up capital, I didn’t interfere, on the contrary, I said try it, I’ll help, it will work out, I’ll leave my job and we’ll work together for ourselves. He remained silent. Subsequently, he informed me that he quit his job and opened an individual entrepreneur with a colleague for himself and a retail outlet in another city (50 km from us). I didn’t interfere, I realized that I wasn’t needed in his business, my offers of help were ignored, I fell behind. I decided to realize myself in life. He always dreamed of having a lot of money and not denying himself anything. From the moment of his dismissal until the individual entrepreneur, there was practically no salary from him, his response to the lack of his salary was that we are developing, we need to pay money for the goods (confectionery business). I noticed that I was happy with myself, but at the same time, gatherings in the garage began to become more frequent (either the car broke down, or the goods need to be disassembled), along with drinking (as a way to relieve fatigue and stress during the day), it became inaccessible to the family, there was no time for us and household chores, The salary from him was 5,000 a month, well 10, and he could lend 15,000 to a friend. It didn’t fit in my head. If he had any money, his answer is that it’s not his, it’s common to individual entrepreneurs, I saw a good salary a couple of months before the New Year. And pay the mortgage and utilities. I have to every month, I have to dress my child for school, I have to dress myself too, and I have to eat for something, my salary was catastrophically lacking, I could restrain myself as best I could, I couldn’t hear anything, just “later, I don’t know”... My partner and I bought a car to drive around The goods they bought with what money they couldn’t get at first, she knew that how much it cost approximately, they couldn’t have had that much in six months. The constant hassle of lack of money, secrecy and his drinking led to scandals. He didn’t listen to my arguments or requests, he simply went to my mother if I started talking about drinking and money (and why not talk? How to live and pay for everything, I waited for months). So he went to his mother first for the night, then for a week or longer, ignored my calls, drank, in short, took a break from scandals, and then my mother stopped telling me that he was there unless I called, and I stopped calling her, no need, So they don’t need it, since they don’t worry about us. Then he texted him with “I’m sorry,” I threatened that I wouldn’t let him into the house again, but I forgave and accepted him, tried to get him into a calm conversation, but that didn’t last long. Then his quirks became larger and more frequent, with his higher opinion of himself and his righteousness, ambitions. He had money for himself. During the scandal, he left, left us without money, supported the house, daughter, paid the mortgage, and he gets drunk, rests and starts working, and goes home again “like a beaten dog,” and I felt sorry and forgave. In one of these drunken visits to his mother, he lost a large sum of money (100 thousand), with which he needed to purchase goods, all documents, a telephone (he often lost them). So 1.5 years passed, I understood that the person was moving away from his family, he was no longer with us somewhere, he began to remain silent more, he came home more and more often after drinking, he simply went to bed, and began to boorishly answer questions about why you were drinking and where you had been. I guessed what was going on, which was later confirmed, he had an affair on the side..., I kicked him out, and immediately filed for alimony in marriage, there was nothing more to wait for. He came, confessed everything, convinced him that there was nothing holding him there. It's still painful and disgusting. I believed him, gave him a chance, loved him, although I said, if you love him there, I’ll let you go. The first time I saw him so broken, he said that he only wanted to be with us. He promised to break it off and protect his family from this. Alimony was a blow to him, but he accepted my conditions (But later he reproached them with them). A month later, he gets into an accident in the car he and his partner bought. Ours tried to restore it for two months alone, his friend practically did not help him with this, but worked at their retail outlet, earned money for himself, and ours was left without everything. Soon, I find out that my dear one took out two loans for himself, one 2 years ago for a business car, which he crashed (I assumed this), they paid together with his partner, and the other 3 years ago, supposedly he crashed someone’s car and had to give money. This all came to light when letters were sent about debts and overdue loans. To say that it was a shock for me is to say nothing. In general, that partner of his left ours without a business and with a broken car, which was just scrapped, although they also paid in half for that loan. Ours began to drink more often, he couldn’t get a job, he tried to support him, to persuade him that this was not the worst thing, he was alive and well, but in vain, he got a job and quit (problems with alcohol). I persuaded him, and asked him not to drink, and swore, brought him to breakdowns, kicked him out, didn’t live for 3 months, let out their complaints to each other, nothing reached him, it was like a blank wall. I filed for divorce. We were divorced in 5 minutes the first time, he didn’t expect that they wouldn’t let us think so soon, but I was ready for anything, I was tired of all his antics, but it was warm in my soul that we were not indifferent to him. And from that very day he begins to process me and pressure me for pity. As a result, after almost a month of all our conversations, we were able to annul the divorce and decided to live as a family again. He got a normal job at this time, I helped arrange an installment plan for his loans to make it easier for the family. I saw that he was trying to improve relations with both me and my daughter (she was very upset with him), admitted that he had done a lot of bad things and was guilty, tried to make up for lost time, but somehow everything was not the same.
      Six months have passed since they got back together, but she can’t give up drinking, they tried to code it, the suggestion didn’t help, but I don’t agree with medication. Maybe he doesn’t drink for 10 days, and then he takes the weekend off during the week, not to be with his family, but he just stupidly drinks on his days off until he’s disgusting, or for a week he drinks every day after work and lies on the couch, he wore his passport regularly, he had a part-time job that he mostly drank, gave little away from it, believed that it was not money, almost a check every day, having a mortgage, his loans, and he was also deprived of his license a year ago in a friend’s car for driving while intoxicated, as much as he asked, not to get in Drunk driving will cause more problems, it's useless. Stupid as hell. And he didn’t pay 30 thousand on time, there was no money and the fine has now doubled. And with such debts, however, he managed to buy himself a good phone from his part-time job just before the scandal, instead of paying for the debts. In short, he deprived his family of everything, she helped, dragged him from the bottom, sober, like a man, and his hands were golden. But I can’t live anymore and think about what awaits you today, drunk or otherwise, having no one to talk to, drinking for days, and then getting offended. And I love him sober (another person, just like before), but he has done so many nasty things, deprived him of everything and continues to drown his family in drunkenness and does not listen to anyone but himself.
      In another impulse, I kicked him out the door and decided to check his phone, it was constantly blocked in front of him and this really bothered me, after he left this time I decided to check him, since lately I had been drinking and lying. I checked. During these six months I completed the detailing. He did not break ties with that lady, as he promised, for some time he ended the relationship, she, like a leech herself, periodically communicated with her and not only with her, calls and SMS. These are the men, and we feel sorry for them. I told him about this, it’s my own fault, why did I bother, and a bunch of accusations that I don’t want to live a normal life myself. Now 2 months have passed, alimony only with a white salary of 1600, he brazenly said how much the state calculated, the state took care of the child, he also needs to get dressed, and his mother said he had loans and brazenly slandered me and added fuel to the fire, and He himself also receives a black salary, a good one. I asked his boss for help, he was a stranger, he helped, he set a condition for him to give him another part of the salary or he would be fired. Again he doesn’t communicate with the child at all. Like we were gone for 17 years. And all the complaints against me come from him, that I did everything myself and don’t want to live normally.
      That's it girls! I never thought that such a thing was possible in life!...I’m ashamed in front of my parents and daughter.

      • Hello. Please help with advice! From the outside it’s always clearer what I missed in family relationships? Forgave too much? 2 months have already passed since I kicked my drunken husband out the door and said that I knew about his communication with different ladies. I thought I was lying and there was no evidence. I came to pick up the necessary things (I just don’t have the strength). There were no explanations on this matter, and I didn’t try to apologize, I just snapped and didn’t know where to hide my eyes and the regret in them. Very proud. He was probably waiting for my invitation. For a month they expressed their complaints to each other over the phone, both said rude and nasty things, I from misunderstanding and resentment, he from frustration and anger. He remained unconvinced, although he agreed that he did something that shouldn’t have been done, but decided that our relationship was not working out, due to the fact that I never cease to put pressure on him and does not want to live under the hood, that I am not I want to live as before, and nothing will work out normally. But he doesn’t try to hear and understand how my daughter and I want to live. Take it as it comes and bear with it. This is who I am, I won’t bend. He thinks I need to start with myself, and then present something to him, that it was I who behaved dishonestly. They stopped communicating with terrible phrases. We haven’t communicated at all for a month, he doesn’t call his daughter and isn’t interested at all, as if we weren’t there or it was her fault. It hurts from everything, for the attitude towards oneself and towards one’s daughter, for the attitude towards life, that there is everything to live together as a family, but we trample each other in ambitions, and does not understand that life is short, the years go by, and we scatter it : he’s into drinking and lying, I’m into arguments that he doesn’t hear at all. How many times have I told him about this! I still feel guilty that I destroyed the family myself, that I had to endure it, I don’t know how to cope with it, I myself became dependent on him. And if we break up, I don’t want to be rude, I want to remain human for the sake of the years we have lived together and for the sake of our daughter, but I don’t know how to solve this. He doesn’t try to do anything himself, he completely ignores us. Everyone is to blame, but not him. We are not going to fall at anyone’s feet, and we are not expecting it. I know that there are my mistakes, and I offended him a lot, with those alimony payments (I couldn’t forgive), with the phone, but he himself led to all this, I defended myself and my daughter as best I could, and I have every right to know what kind of life a person leads next to me, because he did not have complete openness. And I can’t run after him either. Please tell me what to do?

Hello! Sorry for writing in this thread... but the topic “love addiction” is closed for comments. The question is: I currently have a relationship where my man is dependent on me. In general, as it is written in the article, exactly the same symptoms. The beginning was like love at first sight... then problems started. Quarrels and he tried to make me dependent on him. He didn't let me work and was jealous. Although he did and bought me absolutely everything... not greedy. He will buy something for me faster than for himself. This is manic love... now it has completely left him for the second time. He asks again for another chance. Help me figure it out... is it possible to rid him of this addiction? And make sure there is normal love? Or is the only option to end this relationship?

• Hello, Katerina. The man loves you very much and is afraid of losing you, which is why he is trying to make you dependent on him. This is where jealousy in your direction arises. He doesn't feel that you love him as much as he loves you. Once he feels this, he will soften his control. Give him as much time as he needs so that he feels confident in you and that your feelings are mutual.

Hello. Help me please. I saw the correspondence of my loved one with another woman. They talk about love, and the impossibility of relaxing together and other kindnesses to each other. I can't write this. We have been together for 8 years, but not married. And this woman turns out to be the same one with whom he corresponded five years ago, there was a scandal, from which it turned out that they would no longer communicate. Now I already know that they were communicating all this time. As for meetings, I can’t say for sure, he’s always on a business trip in another city, but when he arrives he’s right next to him, but I understand that anything is possible now. What kills me most is that I felt that we said that if there were problems, if we couldn’t be together, then we would be honest. He’s not particularly talkative, but he says how much he misses him and loves him, and now we’ve even decided to get married. But why do all this if you love someone else? Is it really impossible to say, to talk directly? It’s unbearable for me, for me all this time there was only him. Yes, there were quarrels, but like everyone else. Why is he doing this to me? I can't get over this. He doesn’t speak himself, so I’ll say what I know and leave. This is right? It hurts so much, I feel it physically, I can’t really occupy myself. I also recently lost my job, but haven’t been able to find a job yet. And now I just want to disappear, how to drown it out. Please help me please

• Hello, Nadya. It would be right to first calm down, not let your emotions take over your mind and think about what would be best for you. Only after this make a decision.

  • Hello. I had such a good time with him, but now I think I can’t come to terms with it and leave everything as it is. This knowledge torments me. Mentally, I constantly think about this, and imagine what is happening behind my back. Why is he doing this to me? He says he loves her, and it’s the same with her. These conversations are too similar to our conversations. Why does he continue to be about me, why is all this so? I always asked you to tell it like it is. I wouldn't hold him by force. And she is married and has a child. Is this the point? Because of the inability to be together, like a spare tire? This is too cruel. I seriously wanted our children, although I’m afraid of it. Will he constantly run to and from her?

Hello Nadya! It looks like you have the same asshole man as me... I go through all the torments of my soul, doubts and suffering that you do...! I'd love to talk to you! Let's support each other and find a way out! Write to me at i9294540(dog)yandex.ru or find me in contact Irishka Baeva SPB

Hello, please help me figure out what to do next and how to survive this!!! I’ve been with my husband for 6 years, we have two daughters. When I was pregnant with my second, our relationship worsened, the pregnancy was difficult, panic attacks began, my husband didn’t understand, quarrels, scandals. At this time he moved to a new job. After some time, a man wrote to me on social networks that my husband was cheating on me. To this my husband replied that they simply work together and often call each other at work, and this is her ex-boyfriend, just doesn’t understand everything correctly. After that, I began to notice that he began to come late if he went somewhere to rest. On New Year’s Day, after the chimes struck, he immediately ran out of the house to the Christmas tree, saying that he wanted to rest. He showed up at 2 p.m., asked for forgiveness, said that he got drunk and spent the night with a friend. I believed it. One time he left his phone at home and a woman with whom they told me that he was cheating on me started calling him, I answered her by asking what was going on with her and my husband, she said that they were just working together. But I checked the details of his calls and SMS, it turned out that just after the New Year they began to correspond, and for whole days. I made a scandal for him, he said that he had an emptiness inside for me, and he just enjoyed talking to her, she helps to understand relationships in the family. I believed, tried to change relationships in the family, more attention, care, communication. We decided to keep the family together, but as it turned out, he did not stop communicating with her. We had a fight, wanted to leave, begged for forgiveness, told him that we very dear, that he wouldn’t repeat this again and wouldn’t hurt me anymore. We tried to save the family again. Everything seemed to be working out, there were no correspondences, he said that he loved him. But at some point everything came back, she burned down again over correspondence. Another quarrel, again a chance to save the family, since all this time he said that they were just communicating, that he was not cheating on me. And for the fourth time I decided for myself that this would be the last time, I will not tolerate this anymore, We decided to save the family again. For two months everything was fine, we made plans for the future, we even discussed the birth of a third child. But then he burned out again, I found another phone on him, of course he justified that this phone was given to him simply for safekeeping, but I didn’t I believed him and decided to check him for the purchase of a SIM card, it turned out that a day after our application and the decision to save the family, he simply purchased a new SIM card, but he never stopped communicating. We had a fight, I packed my things and children and went to my mother. I see that he is suffering, I see that he feels bad, but I have no strength to endure these correspondences any longer. I decided to talk to this woman, she told me that she loves him, that he has been cheating on me for a long time, that he says that he loves her and only he needs her, she said that she sent him to her family more than once but he returned her. But in In our family, nothing had changed, I saw that he loved me, wanted me, and all this time he didn’t even have any thoughts of leaving me, at least he never said that and didn’t leave himself. It wouldn’t matter if he slept with her, as she says, three times a day, he wouldn’t come home from work and wouldn’t want me, but he never stopped wanting me, I saw that. And when he could have time to sleep with her, if he from work straight to kindergarten and home. And if he went somewhere, I always knew where he was. And he still says that he loves us, that he didn’t cheat on me, and he just needs communication from her. I don’t know what should I do, after all, the correspondence has already been going on for three years, and he doesn’t finish it, which means something is wrong here, and after talking with her, I realized that she is also fidgeting and lies a lot. I don’t know where the truth is and where the lie is. .How to survive this? Is it possible to save the family? Or should we get a divorce?

• Hello Irina. Try to give your husband what he lacks - communication. Become an interesting conversationalist for your husband, think about personal self-development. By analyzing the correspondence, you can understand the nature of what you want. Perhaps this is flirting by correspondence - start corresponding with your husband personally.
  Don't try to look for the truth, try to save your family. Stop controlling your husband and his correspondence. Having switched his attention to something else (personal hobby), his interest in communicating on the side will also subside over time.

  Hello, I’m reading your story and I see my life for the last 2 years... one to one, you won’t believe it, it’s as if I wrote it myself... it all ended in divorce... now we haven’t been living for a year, he lives on his own, he doesn’t live with her, but I know that he communicates on at the same level as in marriage... I don’t know what to advise you, I understand your condition. ..but life will not be the same as before, betrayal is very difficult to forgive.... one thing I can say, from myself, with his departures and arrivals a lot of negative information accumulates, he took off the stone and hung it on me and continue to live with him "happy “, and communication with madam left its mark, the moment just came that I realized I couldn’t live with this, despite the fact that I love him very much and we have two children, now I’m trying to move on with my life, I know that it will pass, sometimes it comes, but it doesn’t hurt as much as before, when it seemed like I was going to die.....
  I wish you happiness, patience, wisdom... I hope it comes to him and he will start a family

  Hello! I had a chance to get into the situation of your husband’s mistress, but I’m holding off for now. I loved a man who did not want to marry me, and after a failed wedding, he began to show sympathy for me at another. Now he already has two children, he drinks, is unhappy in his marriage, runs away from his wife on business trips, and she passionately feigns love for the children and jealousy of her husband. I can roughly imagine how that other woman feels when your husband denies you marriage and uses her as a pillow for tears and rest from her controlling and persecuting wife. If she lies, then in this way she protects herself from you. If you loved your husband, you would not allow him to live dishonestly, and saving the family has nothing to do with it. It’s more important to save a person, but all he does with you is lie endlessly, and you seem to be gloating that he “got burned again.” Well, if you give your children this rotten illusion of a family, they will then create the same rotten illusory families according to your templates. Well, if your husband dies ten years earlier than with an honest life - will that make it easier for you? Either observe the principle of honesty in the family, or run away.

  Hello Irina! I wish you all the best, the brightest and most beautiful things and to get out of this situation quickly. I'm in exactly the same situation right now. My husband decided that I stopped loving him and decided to find love for myself “on the side.” Namely, while consoling his work colleague after two unsuccessful marriages, he began a correspondence with her. They corresponded and called each other more than 50 times a day (and this happened EVERY day!!!). The correspondence began with morning SMS and ended “before sleepy ones.” This all lasted a year. Of course, I saw that his behavior had changed. I tried to talk to him, but he denied everything and said that it was all my imagination. He wrote words of love to me and to her: first to me, and then to her, and vice versa. It seems that I want to save my family, but I just can’t come to terms with such a betrayal on his part. To my question “what is the reason?” he replied that for him it was just pampering. I am completely obsessed with this problem, I can’t get it out of my head and forget. Just when I remember what he wrote to her (the contents of the SMS), it becomes so painful. We have been married for more than 10 years. Yes, there were problems, but not on such a scale. I let him go to her, but he doesn’t want to go there himself, he says that he loves only me and his son, and he just sent me an SMS. Therefore, after reading your message, I wish you (and myself too) to gain strength and patience. Although I myself think, if I forgive him, where is the guarantee that this will not happen again. Or maybe you and I should also talk to someone? (It’s as if I found one way out of this situation). The most important thing is the health of you and your children. But they will still get what they deserve (more). Not now, but later. Because I know that the evil done by you will come back to you.

  • Hello, everything is very similar for me... I don’t know how to survive the betrayal...
    We lived together for 4.5 years, then got married, and before a year had passed, with one scandal, everything went to hell.....there were scandals before, it happened that I left, but they always made up....
    after this scandal we made up, went on vacation (we also argued on vacation), but we arrived together and I thought that everything would work out, and in the morning he said that he was divorcing me... I left then... and in the morning my friend sent me photos from the club where he hugs the girl...
    Then he began to write, call, say that he felt bad without me and he didn’t know how to live on…. I, too, couldn’t bear to be without him, all the years I lived only with him... He said that there was nothing with the one from the club, I believed it because I wanted to believe, although everyone around me told me the opposite...
    We decided to let go of everything, forget, and start over... but I still no, no, yes, I returned to that topic...
    The use was short-lived... I discovered his correspondence with another, (he called her an old friend) about what he thinks about her, that he wants to meet... and wants to do more than just be friends... and when I told him about that that I know everything, at first I said that I dreamed it, and then instead of apologizing (by the way, I never knew how to admit my mistakes, I could always turn it around so that it was all my fault...), as always, I said that I was to blame and only me... and this is a lesson for me for the future... and in the morning I wrote to her saying good morning, and deleted me from my friends!!! I packed my things and left...
    And now it hurts so much, even if you climb on a stack... I still don’t understand what to do next, and probably the worst thing is that if he asked for forgiveness, I would believe again. Stupid!

    • You wrote about me. Also 4.5 years, however, this is the end. I also believed, because I fooled my head with my “crystal purity”. And he always blamed me for everything, although he himself was wrong. And I also suffer for the asshole who wiped his feet on me for many years. I’m just trying to convince myself that the universe has protected me from the biggest mistake of my life. Because I have a friend who has been suffering from this for 16 years. The wound still hurts, but probably this experience was needed. I think such men do not change, and when our “handsome men” get tired of another young lady, he will cheat again. But the main thing is that we will no longer cry, because by that time we will be grateful to fate for protecting us from such an unworthy person.

How to survive the betrayal of a loved one

After reading this article, you will know that how to survive betrayal loved one and stop thinking about him.
In our difficult lives, there are moments when the closest person betrays us. This person could be your best friend, your once-faithful significant other, or your immediate family. It is very difficult to come to terms with the fact that your trust has been broken on the sharp stones of betrayal and meanness. But life goes on, only memory cannot let go of the one we trusted so much.
We must learn to forgive and let go, but this is such a subtle philosophy that you need to grow into.

An independent expert on sociological issues, Artem Sergeevich, again agreed to take part in the discussion of the issue and express his point of view related to how one can survive betrayal and what needs to be done in order not to lose trust in people.

Good afternoon, dear site visitors!
In my opinion, the worst thing is not the betrayal of a loved one itself, but the consequences that come after a severe shock. When a loved one betrays us, everything collapses and, as a rule, it happens unexpectedly.
To survive betrayal, you must first endure that phase called sudden spiritual decline. In the first days of vile betrayal, you will not be able to think adequately and make the right decisions. It will take some time for your psyche to begin to repress events that are detrimental to your condition. Remember this and know this mechanism. Do not try to take revenge on a loved one or loved one in the first days of cruel betrayal, because this decision will only aggravate the sorrowful feeling.
Under no circumstances try to seek a meeting with the person who betrayed you. This won't lead to anything good. Believe the conviction of life and accept it, understanding through tears that the one who betrayed has already played the last role in your life. Not the penultimate one, but the last one!
Don’t try to isolate yourself and not let anyone close. It will be very difficult to open up to someone, because your trust has been destroyed. In fact, it is simply knocked out of track and is in major repairs for a new life.
In order for your psyche to begin to displace the traitor, you should give it the necessary impetus. If you are a woman, then cry, and if you are a man, then cry. Don't forget that tears don't just fall, they wash away your troubles and misfortunes.
In order to firmly survive the betrayal of a loved one, you should not “drown out your grief” with an alcoholic drink. At the very beginning, you will falsely relieve stress, and the next morning you will want to touch the cup again.
The first phase, responsible for experiencing betrayal, will be very painful and last depending on the individual characteristics of your psyche. The sooner you finish the initial stage, the sooner you will let go, forgive and forget the loved one who betrayed you.
When the first phase of grief is successfully completed, you will need to regain faith in yourself and people. Remember that betrayal in your life is a test of strength that almost everyone goes through. Betrayal was sent down for a specific purpose, which, most likely, is so that you could subsequently link your fate with that person whom you would not have noticed if the worst had not happened. Interpret betrayal from the point of view of the Church canons of Orthodoxy and clearly understand that it is not fatal. It hurts, but the wound will heal!
When you can think adequately, try to analyze your past life, but do not look for those to blame. If you blame the person who betrayed you for everything, you will be disposed to ungrateful revenge. And your main task is to cope with betrayal with the least possible consequences.
Through force, smile, force yourself to go to crowded places more often, communicate and make new acquaintances with caution.
Mental pain is akin to physical pain. If something hurts you, then you have to endure it and the pain will subside. The same goes for betrayal.
You are ready to swear by all the Gods that you can no longer trust anyone, but you need to get rid of this first of all!
Consider a traitor as a teacher who rewarded you with perseverance, endurance and did not undermine what is called faith.
In order to survive the betrayal of a loved one as soon as possible, you need to destroy all attempts to settle accounts with him. Only in this case will your psyche begin to recover, and your memory will gradually displace former images.
And if you don't know yet, how to survive the betrayal of a loved one, then clench all your will into a fist and do not try to return to the past, which will never become your future.

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All was good. But one fine day you found out that behind your back, your loved one has long been giving preference not to you! Traitor! The whole world has ceased to exist! Overnight!
What does it mean to betray and how to survive betrayal? Betrayal is a violation of fidelity, perfidy - this is how the explanatory dictionary explains the meaning of the word. You believed, but your faith was broken!

What did you believe in? That you are loved, that you are the only pure light for the object of your love, the only value, that you are needed forever, that only they want to build close relationships with you! You believed in the decency and honesty of your half. But according to your holy faith, it was the one whom you considered the ideal who went through the blade!

It is known that psychologists identify several stages of the post-betrayal period, through which the injured person necessarily goes through, such as:

• acute pain (“nothing else is needed in life, the light has faded”);
• resentment (“my pain will return to you like a boomerang”);
• humility (gradually erasing the person who betrayed you from your life);
• indifference (cooling and oblivion).

These are "standards". Now let's cross out the standards! Everything in our life is RELATIVE! All events and phenomena can be looked at from different angles - a double-edged sword.

Until today, you were a lighthouse, but the flow of life lured or brought your loved one to another bay, where another lighthouse shines. Perhaps it shines brighter and more attractively? Remember the common saying: you can’t order your heart. The inner world, the soul, is something that defies analysis or explanation - complete paradoxes and illogicality.

Love is a feeling, and feeling comes from nowhere and goes nowhere. And no one in all the times of human existence has been able to penetrate the incomprehensible secret of love.
So turn BETRAYAL the other way around, tell yourself: the person simply changed the trajectory of his life’s movement. And betrayal will cease to be betrayal - you will feel better. Cauterize your pain with this remedy, like brilliant green, it will burn a little and subside.

And as for resentment, in this case it’s worth feeling sorry for YOURSELF: after all, if you broadcast the words “my pain will return to you,” it will certainly return to the traitor. However, having pushed away from it, it can come back to you again! Think about yourself!

Three answers to the question “why do people betray”

Why do people betray? There are objective provisions that can lead your loved one to betrayal:

1. Lack of TRUE love

It is clear that if a person really loves, he has no need to change you for another. If a person does not love, a replacement can occur at any time. LOVING two or three people at the same time is not love!

2. Increased attention to the opposite sex

Such a person can be conditionally called “a person with a manic request,” who, naturally, carefully hides his request from others. From among the representatives of the opposite sex, he selects a “victim” based on a specific preference, for example:

• appearance trait (plump or thin, tall or short, blonde or brunette, with green eyes or blue eyes, doll-like beautiful or ugly-ugly, etc.)
• age feature (young or old, older than oneself or younger than oneself, etc.)
• character-personality trait (calm or psychopathic, cheerful or romantic-sad, decisive or meek, open or withdrawn, etc.)
• behavioral trait (flirtatious, even dissolute or highly moral, etc.)
• trait of talent (sings, draws, dances, “how does he sew!”, etc.)

A trivial example to illustrate: a middle-aged man adores flirtatious blondes with blue eyes, a doll-like appearance, much younger than him, and even if this blonde gracefully performs an oriental sexual dance..., at the sight of such an “object” he loses his head and begins to behave inappropriately. humanly, consciousness atrophies.

An opposite example: a young man “falls” for mature women with bright appearance, or an adult woman goes crazy over brown-eyed, burning brunettes with bulging biceps. There are a lot of examples of models!

Each person has his own “request”, each person likes certain types of people - this is how life brings us together with our chosen ones, but a “manic request” that goes beyond the average boundaries is a mental deviation that requires medical intervention.

3. Cowardice

Why do people betray? Perhaps it's a matter of cowardice. A coward is a priori two-faced. Such a person avoids situations that are unfavorable for him in every possible way in order not to betray his vile nature. But sooner or later the situation will develop, and the coward will be discovered.

A coward always commits meanness CONSCIOUSLY. It is the CONSCIOUSNESS of his actions that needs to be feared.

The Myth of Illusion

Remember the episode from the movie “In Love by Your Own Will”? Igor and Vera, waiting for the train, went into a cafe. The waitress, a woman of Balzac's age, approached the table.

— We had a little argument, tell me, what is happiness? - Vera asked the waitress.
She shrugged her shoulders indifferently.
“And in my opinion, happiness is being loved and loving.”
- What?
“To love the same thing,” the woman repeated irritably.
- Well, yes, but how could it be otherwise?
“She’s still young,” the waitress grinned in response to the perplexed girl.

How to survive betrayal? In the hour of betrayal by a loved one, as with any failure, find the strength to turn your attention to YOURSELF. Engage in self-criticism: what exactly was YOUR mistake? Mentally scroll back the timeline and be able to recognize when you fell into the web of ILLUSION?!

It has long been known that we perceive the world not in volume, as in 3-D cinema, but in a plane. Psychologist V. Lozovsky says: “Our perception is single-phase - we divide the world into two parts: good and bad, right and left, up and down, inside and outside. There is a part that is visible to us and there is a hidden part. You can turn an object and look at it from the other side, but you can’t see both sides at once.”

It seems that you did everything right - you loved sincerely, devotedly, sacrificially. But you got the opposite result - you were betrayed! Why is that? Why do people betray? Because you have turned your relationship with your person and him into an illusory world, and your natural feelings have become inadequate in an illusory reality.

Illusions in general, and even more so regarding a loved one, are scary because they make you BLIND. But not only. Illusions send you to the so-called parallel world, created by yourself.

You artificially create a person, endow him with YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings. You WANT him to treat you with interest, to LOVE you, and you begin to model his personality according to YOUR desires, i.e. you create an illusory clone from a real person and enter into a relationship with an artificial double.
You have created an illusory image and believed in its reality - ILLUSION has become a new reality for you, in which you perceive the illusion of your beloved being one-sidedly, “flatly”.

Idealizing a real person is a mistaken and dangerous path for lovers. Moreover, the ideal is created gradually:

• first, carefully and delicately, you remove minor flaws in the nature of your loved one that were visible initially, but you assured yourself that they were unimportant;
• then you add additionally those features that are not characteristic of him at all, but you longed to see them;
• later something stunning happens - you carefully cover up everything that doesn’t satisfy you about it, i.e. you paint over reality itself and begin to draw a new image on a plastered background.

It is this ephemerality, the illusion of man, that you have finally fallen in love with.

However, everything is back to normal! The ephemeral clone burst when it revealed itself as a betrayal - it showed up in its true color! So, maybe, by creating an illusion, you BETRAYED YOURSELF?!

The feeling of love, alive, charming, is a reality. This is an indicator of how important and necessary a person is to you, how attractive he is to you. Love is not an illusion, it is an accumulation of very real emotions. After all, you feel them physically!

Illusions are YOUR imaginary pictures of how your loved one treats you. If YOUR pictures do not correspond to his ACTUAL feelings, betrayal on his part may occur. But if YOUR ideas about HIS attitude towards you correspond to HIS real feelings, this is aerobatics! You will complement each other, grow in each other, no betrayal will happen.

There is a word “empathy”, which means to absolutely feel and understand how others really feel about you. It is important, in the presence of love, not to lose empathy. Then everything will be easier: you love, but you clearly understand HOW exactly your chosen one treats you, no matter what he says about his feelings.

If you do not go off the rails of empathy, then there will be no illusion about him, and you will not suffer because you will not give your love free rein without reciprocity.
Remember one of the commandments of Moses (Exodus 20:4), which reads: “You shall not make for yourself an idol.” Do not forget about it for a moment when entering into a relationship with a person. Illusory lace is a lost cause; it is fragile.

Take the person as he is. If from the very beginning you see in him those traits that do not appeal to you, do not brush them aside, do not replace them in your imagination with others, or do not attribute the status of others to some traits.

For example, the external calm of a man. Figure out what lies behind this: restraint, the endurance of an intelligent real man, or a trait called “being on your own.”

A woman's temper. Figure out what kind of temper this is: the imbalance of a hysterical woman or an emotional manifestation of caring for you when for some reason you don’t hear your woman. Everything is relative!

How hard it is to suddenly understand with a sober consciousness that you loved ONE person, and he turned out to be ANOTHER! You've already experienced it!

Away from illusions! Now you know how to protect yourself from disappointments!

How to recognize a coward? The only way

When we have to talk about cowardice in principle, we remember the heroes of M.A. Bulgakov’s novel “The Master and Margarita.” “Cowardice is undoubtedly one of the most terrible vices,” Pontius Pilate hears Yeshua’s words in a dream. “No, philosopher, I object to you: this is the most terrible vice!”

So, cowardice is the MOST TERRIBLE VICE. Why? Because cowardice is based on fear, therefore, a coward is capable of any act in order to save his own skin.
A coward is an egoist, he is dishonest, mean and cunning. To preserve himself, he is ready for any abomination, even betrayal. From time immemorial, cowardice and betrayal have been despised by people and are considered the standard of DISHONOR.

You were betrayed - that means there was a COWARD next to you all this time!

It is clear as two and two: an honest person will never do evil behind the back of someone who trusted him. If the time has come to confess and talk about new love, he will do it directly and openly.

A coward, fearing to be caught in a lie, will hide from direct conversation. A coward is a weak-spirited person who is capable of exorbitantly INSULTING and HUMILIATING and stepping over you!

Is this your person? Truly - not yours. But if you have already been betrayed, then how to survive the betrayal? At such a difficult moment, you need to do the following:

• cry (cry as much as your body requires);
• avoid deep depression (find someone who will listen to you, share your pain, even a psychological hotline);
• inspire yourself with repeated repetitions of the thought: I rejoice in the fact that the coward will no longer be able to hurt me;
• switch to active additional activities (hobbies, choir club, fitness, swimming pool, sports, etc.);
• start actively watching comedy films.

You realized that your illusion was shattered. But look at everything from the other side - you have freed yourself! You are free! And life seems to have laid a blank white sheet in front of you - write your destiny anew!

Now scroll back your timeline, find those episodes when the situation signaled to you that you love a coward.

By what signs can you distinguish a coward?

Of course, there are some external manifestations: behavioral, verbal, etc. Starting to list them point by point is not the point. For example, one researcher claims that a coward usually looks elegant, but clean people who care about their appearance may look this way.

There is also the opposite statement: a coward is afraid to stand out from the crowd, so he dresses inconspicuously. Again, it's debatable. The person probably doesn’t like bright clothes and is an introvert by nature. But he will suddenly be the first to break out of the “hateful” crowd and rush into the burning house to save the child. What kind of coward is this?

They also say that a coward is restrained in showing emotions. Not true. It is not a coward who can hold back his emotions, but a well-mannered person who knows how to behave correctly when surrounded by people. But this same person will very emotionally tell you the whole truth and part on a humane basis.

A reverse example: a woman who is positively emotional, charming, with a beautiful smile on her face - suddenly it turns out that she has been quietly cheating on you for a whole year.

Psychologists note another sign of a cowardly person: he avoids looking his interlocutor in the eyes. Not always. There are known cowards who, on the contrary, look into your eyes for a long time and intently, even soulfully, playing the role of a lover - this is their technique.

“They almost never gesture; often fiddling with some object in their hands,” we read about the signs of a coward. All this takes place, but external signs are not yet proof that your person is necessarily a coward. These signs may alert you, but we categorically do not recommend using them as tools.

The same EMPATHY will help you recognize a coward before he strikes. You can only FEEL it. What to feel? His COOL BLOOD. Composure, sometimes reaching the point of cruelty, is the only sign of a coward and a traitor. If a person is cold-blooded, he will step over you - don’t doubt it!

Your loved one “loves” you: caresses, kisses, smiles, sends appropriate glances, declares his love, admires you, showers you with compliments, says that he needs you, gives gifts, spends leisure time with you, has intimate conversations, etc. .P. But... if you feel, even from afar, cold-blooded, leave - he will betray you!

To confess directly to your face that he has cheated on you - a cold-blooded person is never capable of this, he has no need. After all, by and large, you are nothing to him. From the very beginning, such a person, consciously or unconsciously, perceives you as a temporary phenomenon.

Cold blood is a sign of a sociopath. A coward is a sociopath. If you listen to your empathy and heed its warning, then you will prevent yourself from betrayal and pain. If you ignore it, you will suffer.

If we return to the question “how does a coward manifest himself externally?”, then, of course, there is a certain manner of behavior that betrays him. This:

• is secretive, general topics of conversation disappear;
• hides his eyes, or his eyes “run around”, or, conversely, looks straight into your eyes for too long, but “artificially” (there may be emptiness in this look, or there may be a depth that you cannot explain, which is akin to sadness; in any case, the look different from the past, in which love prevailed, but now it does not);
• avoids direct answers, gets off with some hints, half-understandable fragmentary phrases;
• twitchy reaction to phone calls or incoming messages (either he doesn’t answer at all in your presence, which never happened, or he answers, casting sidelong glances at you, as if afraid of discovery, or he leaves the house completely so that you don’t hear or see him );
• the performance is a killer example of the behavior of a coward (some people, obsessed with the fear of direct exposure, create a scenario that meets their goal called “you were the first to leave me,” i.e., they actually turn everything upside down, making you guilty; they allegedly behave vilely on purpose so that you yourself will abandon them first).

The position is cruel, misleading you in an even worse way. Perhaps the performance is almost impossible to recognize, and it is performed by very sophisticated “great traitorous artists.” But in their game they use the same behavioral manners. If something worries you, be on your guard; you will probably soon find out that your loved one is a traitor.

Pay attention to the verbal manner that exposes a coward - a potential traitor:

• be afraid of the phrase “I’d rather be bad” (this is the position of a weak-spirited person, a priori; someone who is not a coward knows how to take responsibility for his actions, no matter how hard it is to do so, he overcomes his fear);
• be afraid of explanations and apologies in electronic form (if the long-awaited word “sorry” came in a ridiculously shameful manner via SMS, email, or online, there is no trust in such a person; someone who is not a coward and sincerely seeks forgiveness asks for it only face to face ).

ONEGIN SYNDROME

There are different types of traitors. Some will be mean all their lives until she kills them herself - these are incorrigible cowards.

And there are “traitors by mistake.” They realize the disgustingness of their act, repent and strive to rehabilitate themselves, to “atone with blood” their guilt - first of all for themselves, realizing that a treacherous act corrupts their personality.

Indeed, betrayal is imbedded with an indelible mark into the fabric of personality. But how to survive betrayal, and why do people betray?

Let us turn again for color to the image of Pontius Pilate, who understood his cowardice and steadfastly endured the well-deserved punishment of immortality until he received the forgiveness of the one he betrayed - the philosopher Yeshua. Yeshua said: “Now we are always together. Where you are, there I am.” Where the traitor is, there is his “victim,” because her ghost relentlessly haunts the traitor. This is his tragedy and punishment.

Life has proven: if a person betrays you once, he will betray you a second and a third time. Overcoming cowardice in oneself is within the power of a very strong person, an “unfinished person,” so to speak. If betrayal is a mistake, then it is correctable, like any mistake.

But this doesn’t make things any easier for you, devotees. Or is it easier? If you believe in your loved one, then maybe with your faith you will save him? If you are convinced that he is a complete bastard, let him go freely - this is not your companion.

However, there is another option called “Onegin syndrome”: the traitor deeply realized what he had done, WHOM he lost as a result of his cowardice, he laments what he did, tears out his hair and COME BACK.

Decide here. The return of the person who betrayed you is an even more terrible test for you, be prepared for it. Have you forgiven? But decide firmly: will you take it back or not? In this case, no one will give any advice. The main thing is don’t make the same mistake again.

Four ways to protect yourself from betrayal

Josef Capek wrote: “Evil most often stems from moral weakness, from disregard for the good of one’s neighbor.” Betrayal is evil. Consequently, a traitor is a morally weak person and neglects his neighbor. How can you protect yourself from this type of evil? How to build some kind of barrier that will allow you to remain unharmed?

First, DISTANCE

And love. Yes, the man is dear. Yes, you are ready to sacrifice for him. Love, cherish and sacrifice, but remember about YOURSELF! If you allow the situation of “complete dissolution in your loved one”, sooner or later you will die.

Having dissolved, surrendered to the last drop of blood, you will cease to be yourself. And having lost your Personality, you will cease to interest a person, since everyone always prefers exclusiveness, and in love too.

Remain somewhat unattainable, let your loved one constantly chase you: the man after the woman, and the woman after the man.

In everyone, no matter how close you are, there must always be something unknown. A loved one should always rediscover you, just as a frigate captain discovers a hitherto unknown, tempting island. You can't get bored.

This distance will maintain your dignity.

How to build some kind of barrier that will allow you to remain unharmed?

Secondly, NON-INTRESSION

Obsession is the most disgusting way to attract attention to yourself. Clinginess is repulsive. Learn to be a diplomat in relationships. Imposing yourself on another person always humiliates you in his eyes. “Auere mediocritas” is the golden mean. Know your limits.

Third, EMPATHY

Develop your empathy. If you feel that a person is moving away from you, treating you coldly, be wary. Find out the reason for the cooling and try to come to a common denominator. And if your loved one does not agree to talk, leave, reluctantly, gritting your teeth. Leave silently, without mental scenes, they are useless. It’s not worth holding out until the last limit, when they betray you from behind your back - it will be even more painful.

Fourth, PREPAREDNESS #1

From the very beginning of a joint relationship, seriously prepare your psyche, following the principle: hope for the best, believe in the best, but be prepared for the worst. This is necessary in order to maintain calm. After all, in life there are many unexpected things. It’s like a bag of emergency supplies in case of a bombing or natural disaster: it may never be useful, but it may help out in difficult times.

THREE STEPS TO A “MATURE PERSONALITY”

You may ask: if you expect betrayal, then why connect with a person at all? But what about trust? With love, after all? No, no, that's not what we're talking about. Of course, trust and love! But... “Tempora mutantur at nos mutamur in illis” - times change, and we change with them. Anything can happen.

Let's return to the outcome: you have been BETRAYED! The first is shock and shock, and then - aching, hellish pain! But how to survive betrayal? Imagine the picture: you are a land scorched by fire, charred to the ground after a fire. And within a few days, fresh green blades of grass will emerge on the black surface, smelling of burning, and soon an emerald, quivering carpet will spread over the wound inflicted by the fire. You will come alive!

“Cuncta fluunt” - everything passes! Life will take its toll! Wish the one who betrayed you well. And there the forces that control us will judge what is due to him. It's none of your business anymore. Your job is to survive! To do this, you should adhere to three postulates:

• “I SURVIVED betrayal and did not break” - I am a STRONG PERSONALITY.
• “Not only did I not break, but I learned VALUABLE LESSONS for myself” - I am a “SPIRITUALLY MATURE” person.
• “I wish health and happiness to the one who has embarked on the path of betrayal” - through grief and suffering I CLEANSED and ELIMINATED my soul.

HOORAY! I'VE BETRAYED!

In the end, we offer you a universal cure for any pain - the often used phrase: EVERYTHING IS FOR THE BETTER! But that’s why it’s classic, because it really works.

You have been betrayed - cross out this day, dust yourself off, thank God for teaching you a colossal lesson, for DELIVING YOU FROM THE Evil One and move on with your head held high!

You survived, you are a winner! You are free!

The best is yet to come!