How a girl can change her life for the better: psychology, useful tips. How to change yourself for the better: practical advice
There is no person who would not be faced with a situation when at a certain stage of life the question arises: how to change for the better, how to change your behavior, habits, character?
You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there will always be something that doesn’t suit you. In the process of life, many of us develop an attitude towards existence that can be characterized in two words - a feeling of helplessness.
It seems to us that life is full of hopelessness and desperation. It becomes especially scary when we are unable to change anything. There are many reasons to think this way - constant pain, endless disappointments, incessant grievances. But as a result, we see one thing - a categorical refusal of life, self-loathing and the inability to see our life in a positive way.
In such a situation, it is important to ask yourself the question: “What leads me to constant disappointments? How can I change myself for the better and change my attitude towards the world?
After all, it is the desire for better and self-improvement that can change a person’s character, his worldview and attitude towards life, then the world around him will treat him completely differently.
Internal and external changes in a person certainly lead to an improvement in life. The highest goals and dreams become accessible. When we are ready to change - we are growing!
Intrinsic motivation
What is one of the main reasons for wanting to change yourself and your usual lifestyle for the better? Often it's fear. Among the strongest motivators are the fear of losing health, family, job, loved one, status, fear of not being able to do something in life.
To start changes, you need to convince yourself and believe that there is always a way out of any situation; it is important to have a strong hope of solving the problem.
Only then does a girl in love, who wants to lose weight and not lose her loved one, start going to the pool and gym. A person who has had a heart attack immediately stops smoking. The fear of poverty and insolvency forces one to work hard.
However, a person will not change himself and his life if he is satisfied with everything and he is sure that he will live well anyway. Those who simply do not see the possibility of solving emerging problems and difficult situations will not strive for change.
People do not fight serious illnesses because they do not believe and do not hope for recovery. To start changing, you need to realize how important and precious everything is to you that can easily be lost.
The beginning of change
There are no ways to change internally quickly and easily. Nor have they come up with magical means for instantly eradicating bad habits or acquiring positive character traits.
The desire to change yourself is not enough - it is important to make some efforts to achieve success. Change begins with a clear understanding of what exactly irritates you or doesn’t suit you in yourself, what prevents you from living peacefully.
You need to find out for yourself what positive or negative qualities you have, what they give you. Then consciously choose those qualities that you absolutely must get rid of in order to change for the better.
There is no need to try to get rid of all bad qualities and habits at the same time. This is an absolutely impossible task!
It is necessary to gradually and patiently cultivate the positive qualities inherent in every person. This process is similar to how a gardener cares for and cares for flowers. Even roses freed from weeds will not bloom and smell fragrant if not properly cared for.
Positive thinking
Every day we hear endless complaints about people, life, injustice. At the same time, everyone knows about the usefulness and importance of positive thinking. It has long been known that people’s thoughts depend on their statements and influence behavior, emotions and feelings.
Priest Will Bowen observed people's behavior over a long period of time. He advised those who wanted to radically change their lives to wear a bracelet on their wrist for three weeks and try to live without complaints, gossip and irritation.
If a person forgot and started saying negative phrases, he had to put the bracelet on his other hand, and the countdown began again. The goal of the experiment is to wear the bracelet on one hand for a full three weeks.
The method used turned out to be extremely effective. The observation participants changed significantly - they learned to notice positive qualities in themselves and the world around them, live without complaints for a long time, and stopped speaking negatively about things and people.
Thus, participants who wanted to know how to change beyond recognition internally learned to control their thoughts and phrases, which led to dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, the experiment allowed everyone to learn a lot of interesting things about themselves and their thinking.
External changes
How to change externally? A question of this kind will certainly arise if you want to change yourself for the better. The general image will certainly begin to undergo dramatic changes as soon as changes appear in the internal worldview.
By learning to use positive thinking, you will stop wasting your strength and energy on useless grievances and destructive thoughts, and you will also be able to forgive offenders and ill-wishers.
As soon as you recognize your uniqueness, you will immediately love yourself and learn to show love to other people. There will be no desire to avoid problems and adversity with the help of alcohol, smoking, or overeating.
You will notice changes in your appearance: straightened shoulders, confident gait, sparkling eyes. The world will begin to change rapidly, and you will have new acquaintances, hobbies, and friends. You will want to change your appearance, your usual image, because you need to correspond to the new internal state.
The opposite course of life changes is also possible. First, a person decides to change his appearance: get rid of extra pounds, get a new hairstyle, update his wardrobe. Then changes immediately occur in the internal content and thinking. A person feels confident because he is satisfied with his appearance.
If you have decided and realized how to change radically (internally or externally), then don’t hesitate, don’t put off starting a better life until “tomorrow,” “later,” or “later.” Begin to be active immediately, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. Appreciate every second, because life passes quickly and irrevocably!
Changes in character
If you want to understand how to change your character for the better, you need to do the following. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen and make a list of two columns.
In the first column write those character traits that, in your opinion, negatively affect behavior, in the second - indicate the traits that you would like to acquire. Your family and friends can help you compile such a list. This will give you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, because often we do not notice or do not want to admit our own shortcomings.
Next, next to the indicated character flaws, you need to write down the proposed ways to turn them into advantages. For example, pessimism can be overcome by positive thinking and a positive attitude, laziness - by an active lifestyle and hobbies, anger - by showing goodwill, etc.
Think responsibly about how your life will change after changing your character. This will motivate you. But remember that it is not enough just to know how to change your character. It is important to put in effort and work, to show willpower, and this is not an easy task!
Sometimes a person's character can be changed by changing their appearance. This is especially true for women. For example, by changing her hairstyle or hair color, a woman notices that her attitude towards the world around her begins to gradually change.
There is also an inverse relationship. When a rethinking of values occurs in the mind, a desire may arise to change externally in order to correspond to your new “I”.
Video “How to become happy”
Changing character is a very difficult task. In an effort to improve yourself and your character, control your behavior and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions in a timely manner!
Almost every woman sooner or later is faced with the realization that she is not happy with everything about her appearance. Of course, every representative of the fair sex may want to see “the best version of herself” in the reflection of the mirror, and if you also have such a desire, then we suggest that you familiarize yourself with some recommendations.
How to change your appearance as a girl, where to start
The first thing you should do is outline a plan of action. Write down on a piece of paper what exactly you don't like about your appearance, and how these features can be changed for the better. Read on the Internet about various cosmetic procedures, experiment in Photoshop with hair color, eyebrow thickness, and so on, in order to understand whether the intended changes will really suit you, and only after that proceed with drastic changes.How to change beyond recognition
Get plastic surgery Of course, this method is the most radical, but you should only resort to it if there are some real defects on your face. There are often situations when a girl impulsively changes the shape of her lips or the shape of her eyes, but subsequently turns to the surgeon again in order to return everything “as it was” - a rejection of the “new self” occurs. In addition, the new option is not always better than the previous one. If you have been dreaming about surgery for a long time and are convinced that this is a real way to improve your appearance, then you can decide on the procedure. We recommend that you consult with several practicing surgeons on this issue. Botox, lift Note that Botox injections and facelifts are procedures that can help improve the appearance of women over 35-40 years old. For young girls, these manipulations with the face, as a rule, are completely unnecessary, and can even be harmful. If you are not satisfied with the quality of your skin, consult a cosmetologist and ask him to recommend procedures that will best suit your age. Get a tattoo on your face This is a fairly common procedure, but when doing it, keep in mind that sometimes you will have to correct the tattoo so that it does not fade. Currently, there is tattooing of lips, eyebrows and so on. Many women note the convenience of this method - for example, with the help of lip tattooing they were able to visually increase their volume without resorting to injections of hyaluronic acid and so on. In addition, such a tattoo helps to temporarily solve problems with makeup - the artist initially selects the color with which your lips will be painted according to your wishes. Likewise, you can apply winged lines to your eyelids - this will also help you save time on applying everyday makeup if they are an integral part of it.
How to change in a month - action plan
If you want to achieve changes in your appearance in a month, then outline the necessary action plan in advance. Drastically change your hairstyle and hair color You can start with a radical change in hairstyle and hair color. If you have been wearing a braid below the waist for many years, you can update the cut, for example, by cutting your hair to your shoulder blades. You can also get hair extensions, bangs or an interesting haircut to suit your hair length. However, all this should be done only if you are convinced that the new image will really suit you. The same rule applies to hair dyeing - if possible, try on a wig with strands of the desired color or edit your photo in Photoshop to see how you will look with an updated hairstyle. Please note that if you decide to go blonde, but your hair is now dark, then you will probably have to repeat the coloring procedure more than once, maintaining an interval of several days, to achieve the desired result. New makeup (or simplification if you've always worn bright makeup) Try to choose a new makeup for yourself that will make you look more impressive. There are many training videos on the Internet and various courses for this. However, even without this, you can try to apply makeup differently than usual - “play” with the color palette, apply eye shadow in a completely different shade than you are used to, experiment with the color of your lipstick. For these purposes, you can buy several cheap lipsticks and an inexpensive set of shadows - this way you can be sure which colors are absolutely not suitable for you, and which ones look very interesting on your face. Of course, after experimenting, cleanse your face and buy new lipstick and eyeshadow from your favorite brand and those shades that, after experimenting, you liked best on your face. Update your wardrobe Often, just by updating her wardrobe, a woman appears to others in a completely different light. Perhaps you are used to dressing in a certain style and do not even suspect that completely different things may suit you much better. We recommend that you choose a free day and, having come to a clothing store with reasonable prices for you, take several wardrobe items into the fitting room that you usually do not pay attention to. Try to put together several images from things that are unusual for you, and be sure to photograph each of them in the fitting room mirror. At home, look at your photos, remember the feelings you felt when you put on new clothes, and go back for the things that suit you. However, you can buy those wardrobe items that are more familiar to you, but be sure to complement them with new accessories. Change habits and habits Give up bad habits - they usually do not have the best effect on your overall appearance. Instead, it is better to acquire new healthy habits - playing sports, eating right, walking in the fresh air, and the like. Visit new places, communicate with new people Expand your horizons by meeting new people and going to new places. For example, visiting various types of establishments, you will involuntarily expand your wardrobe - a dress for the theater, a tracksuit for fitness, a new outfit for a date, and so on.How to transform yourself quickly and without special expenses
Sometimes, a woman needs very little to transform herself - proper sleep and rest. Often we neglect this, and as a result we end up with dark circles or bags under the eyes, a tired look and other unpleasant changes in appearance. A rested and well-slept woman, in turn, usually looks fresh and cheerful, which cannot but improve her appearance. Find a way to set aside a couple of days for yourself, in which you do nothing but sleep and relax. Moreover, you don’t need to rest in front of the computer - take a walk around the city, just lie on the couch, take a bath with sea salt, foam and essential oils, and the like. Do your own hairstyle and hair coloring Dyeing your hair at home is not at all difficult, if we are not talking about some complex dyeing or lightening. On any hair dye you will find detailed instructions for use. Dye your eyebrows Many women make an appointment to have their eyebrows tinted at a beauty salon, or put off this visit until later, without even suspecting that they can easily cope with this procedure at home, spending no more than 15 minutes on it. To do this, you just need to buy a tube of the desired paint in almost any cosmetic store. If you are not sure that you can cope with the task yourself, watch a video on the Internet on how to do it or read general recommendations. Exercise or go on a diet You can do sports not only in the gym, but also at home. To do this, we recommend stocking up on a pair of dumbbells and starting doing exercises - for this purpose, you can find several videos on the Internet that demonstrate a set of exercises for a particular muscle group. Even if you just start doing squats and doing abs every day, this will have a positive effect on your appearance. If you have excess weight on your body, we recommend choosing a suitable diet for yourself - this will not only improve your appearance, but also have a good effect on your overall well-being.What can you change about yourself if you’ve already tried everything?
Get a tattoo, eyelashes, nails Try an interesting manicure - it can add unexpected touches to your look. It is also quite possible that eyelash extensions or eyelid tattooing will add more expressiveness to your look. Get yourself a tattoo If you have been dreaming of a tattoo for a long time, and this is not an impulsive decision, then perhaps it’s time to make your dream come true? Choose a salon with positive reviews or make an appointment with a specialist based on recommendations - for sure, even a small design on the body that you like will give you the opportunity to feel yourself in a new way. Dye your hair an unexpected color Hair color plays a big role in the overall look. The same woman with different hair color looks completely different. Try experimenting with your hair, but make sure in advance that these changes will still suit you. Trim your long locks or add extensions if you have short hair. Of course, you can conduct unexpected experiments not only with hair color, but also with its length. Many women don’t even know what they look like with waist-length hair, only because they have never been able to grow their hair to that limit. Meanwhile, you may well try to grow your hair in the most gentle way possible, or try on extensions. Also, some people have worn waist-length hair for many years, despite the fact that this hairstyle does not suit them at all, and the curls in general do not look very neat due to split ends ends or dullness. Subsequently, some of them still cut their braids, making, for example, an elongated bob. As a result, their image becomes more fresh and interesting, and their hair looks much healthier.To transform yourself for the better, don’t rush into experiments.
Think carefully and study the information Before you decide to make drastic changes, try reading reviews about them on the Internet, and consult with your loved ones. Don't make a decision impulsively. Consult with experts Depending on the area in which you are planning changes, consult with a hairdresser, cosmetologist, plastic surgeon, and so on. Spend more time to get better results Do not expect to get excellent results in a short time - in some cases this is not possible. We are talking about diets, sports activities, comprehensive skin care, getting rid of cellulite and much more. It is difficult to achieve dramatic changes in a week if we are talking about significant weight loss, muscle gain or plastic surgery (recovery time is required). However, you can make many other changes to your appearance during this time. The main thing is to study the necessary information in advance and make sure that these changes will really be for the better - otherwise, the matter may turn out to be a big disappointment for you. The main advice is to approach any experiments consciously.Is it possible to become a different person in appearance in 1 day?
In general, in one day you can really change quite significantly in appearance. However, if you are unhappy with your weight, then these changes will certainly take much longer. If you are happy with your figure, but want some noticeable changes, then you can make them by changing your hair color, dyeing your eyebrows, getting eyelash extensions, having your face cleaned in a salon, changing your wardrobe, visiting a solarium, cutting or getting hair extensions. If we are talking about internal changes, then this, of course, will take much more time. However, you can also do a lot in one day - outline a detailed action plan that will help you achieve the desired results.
How to change for the better? The desire to develop is inherent in humanity by nature, and the desire for positive changes is inherent in everyone literally evolutionarily. The difference is at what stage a person begins to ask the question “how can I change for the better?” Someone is pushed to such changes by failures and criticism of others, and then the desire for improvement is a defensive reaction, a way to avoid punishment, bullying or public ignorance.
Someone changes for the sake of a certain person (to be liked, to earn respect, to build a relationship) or relationship (accepting criticism from an important person and choosing to make certain changes in themselves in order to maintain a significant relationship). Some people are inspired by other people's examples, while others are tired of the boring, gray vanity. New travels, acquaintances, films, illnesses, disasters, breakups - these are all strong incentives to start changes. Leading the list of reasons that force people to change is fear, most often the fear of loss or deprivation of the opportunity to get what they want.
The concentration and direction of changes depend on the area requiring them and the global nature of the solution. If one person has to change his place of residence and occupation in order to realize his dream (and this is a thoughtful path that brings visible results of improvement), then how can a person change for the better (in his own character, the flow of life and interactions with people) is simple updating your hairstyle or wardrobe remains a mystery.
Each problem has its own methods to solve. Therefore, before you mindlessly follow the advice of ten steps to change yourself, try to understand exactly what qualities you want to change, which ones to improve, to what extent and in what direction you want and are ready to move, what you need for this and what resources you already have you have. And succumbing to fashionable trends for improving yourself, while your life suits you, is, to say the least, a stupid act, since in the process of change you can lose your old life that completely suited you.
How can you change your character for the better?
It consists of many habits, developed reactions and ways of responding, so it is not possible to completely change it. Trying to simultaneously get rid of all the qualities that you consider negative and all the habits that somehow interfere with your life is simply an impossible task. Having shouldered such a load, you can hold out for a week, and then fall back to your previous state, if not in an aggravated form. Break the global task into components, and work on one or more qualities at the same time, gradually incorporating the rest when you have mastered the first.
How can a person change for the better if he has no starting point for action, i.e. understanding who he is and his inner spiritual world. The solution to any problem begins with study; in the event of a change in character, the need to immerse yourself in the world of your own experiences becomes categorical. The first question along the way of this research will be about the reasons for change. Analyze what events are pushing you towards this. Changes made out of a sense of love and self-care will bring beneficial consequences (reducing the tendency to irritation will protect you from heart problems, developing the ability to refuse will give you more time for yourself and communicating with loved ones, training perseverance will help you complete a project). At the same time, if you decided to reshape your character for the convenience of others, then this situation will not make you feel better, and the feeling of violence against your own psyche will remain and may return to you in the form of psychosomatics (becoming compliant at the request of others, you will be overwhelmed with their requests , increasing rigidity in order to prove something to someone can turn your friends away from you, and outwardly good-natured communication with those who betrayed you is fraught with the development of hypertension and peptic ulcers).
Listen carefully to why you are changing and look at the results, for whom it will be easier and more joyful.
To change for the better in character, you need to maintain a constant, fairly high level of happiness and interest in your own life. Review your prohibitive beliefs and throw out half of them (staying up because you have to cook a meal, not picking up the last piece of candy, giving up going to the movies to clean the house - these are all examples of things that can bring you pieces of happiness and feeling good, but you will only lose false beliefs that this is impossible). Look every day for what will bring you joy, make sure that your life is filled with activities, hobbies, and entertainment that you enjoy and are not popular or approved by your friends. Good character does not imply complete adjustment to the world around us, but it does include understanding one’s needs, since this is the only way to understand and accept the differences of others.
How to force yourself to change for the better? Don't put off achieving what's important to you, justifying it as others' priority now, or work on your perseverance. Don't work on changing yourself, but change your life in your direction. You will not be able to become a convenient copy that fits into the given standards. There will always be those who don’t love you and you are free to compete with them, fight, not communicate, or look for common ground. There will always be places where you are out of touch, and you are free to whine and stay there, leave to look for others or create your own. The world is plastic, and self-acceptance helps to find organic ways to fulfill needs, in addition to reshaping one’s own personality.
How can a girl change for the better?
When a crisis breaks out in a relationship or a girl walks around for a week with a silent and dissatisfied face, and the relationship becomes cooler, guys begin to look for ways to change for the better. The first thing to understand is to prefer action, and the sooner the better, rather than conducting serious scientific research on this problem.
A common mistake guys make when making changes is that they completely focus their attention on the girl’s interests, trying to please or even predict her desires. Such tactics can help significantly. If you haven’t paid any attention to it before, most often it doesn’t bring results. In order for a girl to become more comfortable and interesting with you, she needs to upgrade her own life and abilities. So, instead of constantly annoying your companion, get busy - read a book from a new area for you, sign up for courses, play sports, discover a new hobby. A person who does not stand still, develops, knows what he wants, attracts attention. By expanding the range of your own interests, it will be easier for you to understand the girl, more topics for conversation and reasons for spending time together. Self-development is a labor-intensive and time-consuming way to improve yourself in the eyes of a girl, but it is more reliable than a gift of a bouquet.
Watch not only the development of your inner world, but also your appearance. Take care of clean and tidy clothing, regular hygiene procedures, pay special attention to your health (adjust your regime, diet, pastime), engage in different activities (beautiful muscles, of course, delight, but dexterity, the ability to handle different types of transport, accuracy will force look at the girl with admiring eyes).
How can a girl change for the better? Look for the positive in everything and tune in to this wave. A good mood, the ability to cheer up, and get out of an unpleasant situation with humor are qualities that women really value in men. And of course, do not forget to take into account the wishes of your companion, because if she voiced a request to be late less often, then the first thing you should work on is your own. Girls usually make it clear what they want from guys, do not neglect her words, because before expressing criticism out loud, she has already remained somewhat silent, justified, endured and did everything possible in her life so as not to make claims against you.
How to change for the better for a guy?
Girls, striving for constant success, focus their activities on two factors: their own desires and the desires of the guys. Usually, in order to become better for a guy, external changes come first. Becoming more feminine, changing worn-out jeans to an airy dress, learning to walk exhilaratingly in stiletto heeled pumps - this is all an arsenal that women actively use to increase their own attractiveness in the eyes of men. Indeed, appearance plays an important role in the formation and generation of interest, but subsequently one gets used to appearance, and a man will exchange any beautiful doll for a woman with whom he feels comfortable and cozy.
Internal change is a more serious and labor-intensive process compared to external transformations. Putting on a dress and looking feminine is a task of several hours, but remaining feminine in your actions, regardless of your wardrobe, is a whole art, to which many trainings are now devoted. But usually guys don't need that much. They are interested in living and real girls who know themselves, their skills, strengths and weaknesses, and know what they want. Inner fullness, reliability, the ability to support in a difficult situation and the ability to understand attract guys and make them stay close.
Get to know yourself, engage in your own development, accept yourself, this world and the guy who is next to you as you are, and you will become better not only for him, you will feel how you have become more comfortable and joyful living with yourself, how the world around you has begun to care about you. Become more open to the world, develop spontaneity and try to replace criticism and prejudice with research interest in the opinions and lives of other people - such changes will not leave others indifferent and will give space for the realization of your inner space.
At one fine moment in my life, I realized that something was missing in me: you seem to be living, but something is wrong and wrong. I looked at myself from the outside and in the mirror, went through one strong training on my own, read a couple of educational books. I made disappointing conclusions that I have a bunch of bad habits, I devote almost no time to my health, I am not popular with girls, my level of disorganization is off the charts, and in addition, I often avoid solving complex life problems.
It doesn't matter how many days are in your life, what matters is how much life is in your days!
Sport
It all starts with introducing it into your life. We start with basic exercises, but you need to do them every day. These are simple exercises: squats, abdominal presses (lifting the body), push-ups. It all starts with repetition 5 times and increases by 1 time every day; you can do two repetitions a day. In a month, you will be doing 35 squats, 35 abdominal exercises, and 35 push-ups. Then you can increase the number of repetitions as needed, but be sure to do it every day.
Every person needs to find his own sport, and you shouldn’t follow fashion: everyone runs, that means running, everyone does yoga, that means yoga. Look for a sport that suits you completely: loads, interest, time, financial component, people. It should become an extension of your essence.
Over the course of a year, I tried the gym, boxing, running, jiu-jitsu, aikido, cycling. At the same time, I practiced several types for several months. It was a great time, because it was definitely beneficial for my health, and I also understood more and more what exactly I wanted from sports.
My choice fell on jiu-jitsu and swimming - this is the basis of my sports development. Now this has been for the rest of my life, since the pleasure I get in my classes is difficult to express in words, and my success in this field only reinforces this conviction.
Books
You'll have to read a lot. An excellent result is 40–50 books per year. I read 42 books and understand that 50 books a year is realistic. The main thing is to read without stopping. And, of course, don’t watch TV and don’t spend too much time on social networks.
Read only to develop your mind: psychology, Russian and foreign classics, self-development, finance - no pulp or entertaining books.
Take notes on the gist of what you read, what impressed you or didn’t like in the book, memorize the quotes. This way you train your memory and can always surprise your interlocutors with clever sayings from books.
Ayn Rand’s book “Atlas Shrugged” greatly influenced me with its fundamentality and strong dialogues, as well as situations similar to events from my life.
My morality, the morality of reason, is contained in one axiom: reality exists in one choice - to live. Everything else flows from here. To live, a person must consider three things to be the highest and decisive values: Reason, Purpose, Self-Respect. Reason as the only instrument of knowledge, Purpose as the choice of happiness, which this instrument must achieve, Self-respect as the indestructible confidence that he is able to think and his personality is worthy of happiness, which means worthy of life. These three values require all the virtues of man, and all his virtues are related to the relationship of existence and consciousness: rationality, independence, purity, honesty, justice, efficiency, pride.
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Discipline
What distinguishes a strong personality from an ordinary person is... Regardless of your mood, motivation, external circumstances, family relationships, do what is necessary at a given moment in time.
Learn to swim against the tide of life circumstances, educate yourself so that your internal state does not depend on what is happening around you. It was very difficult and everything did not work out right away, as there were breakdowns. But again and again I moved forward with the support of loved ones and the inner desire to go through this path at all costs.
Where can I start? From the morning ritual. Here is the simplest and most effective method for honing discipline: when the alarm clock rings, get up immediately, wash your face, turn on music, do exercises with strength exercises, then a contrast shower, a healthy breakfast (without fried or sweet foods) and reading a book (you can do it on the way to the office) .
You need to do this until you can do it automatically and without forcing yourself. It took me 3 months, sometimes, of course, there were failures, especially after overloaded days. I recommend that anyone who wants to change their lifestyle develop their own morning ritual.
We must learn to control ourselves: our speech, gait, gaze and gestures. Wherever you are, at home, at work, at the gym, you should exude confidence and act without unnecessary fuss. Remember the principle of feedback: even if you don’t feel that way, this feeling of confidence and discipline will come.
A very useful exercise for developing inner strength - despite all your natural fears, do not take your eyes off your interlocutor, from passing people who look into your eyes. I won’t lie, martial arts classes helped me with this. But it’s also good to look with a warm gaze, showing that you are friendly.
To educate myself, I learned to deny myself pleasures: bars, alcohol, sweets, cigarettes, impulse purchases, idleness, empty conversations at work. This may not happen right away, but you need to think about it all the time, work in this direction. And one day I said to myself: “Yes, I haven’t drunk alcohol for three months and haven’t eaten sweets for two months.”
I attended sports classes or courses despite my mood, circumstances, weather and my motivation. I made a schedule and followed it, throwing away all my favorite excuses. I liked coming to the gym when others were stopped by something and when there were like-minded people who were ready to support me in these endeavors.
And most importantly, you need to learn to control yourself when little is happening, and there is a mess around. Be an island of calm and cool endurance.
Finance
Keep a financial journal. Keep it going for a month, two, three and don’t stop. And don’t just manage it, but analyze every month what goes where, why and how to fix it.
I had a lot of expenses on coffee - 1,300 rubles a month. I realized that it was time to reduce its amount, and now the level of spending on coffee is 600 rubles per month. Coffee is my weakness that I don't want to get rid of.
Many people say that a magazine is a useless thing: “I already know how much I spend and earn.” And you try to keep it for 1 year with accurate analysis and charts and you will see the whole picture of your financial literacy or illiteracy.
Keep yourself in financial asceticism, stop buying what you don’t need or what is imposed by advertising and friends. Most of our purchases are useless and will not be useful in life, and we can quite easily do without them.
Find additional income, even if it is small, but it will motivate you to even greater achievements. Let it be an increased workload, additional work (of any format), freelancing, selling unnecessary things, training other people. The mistake of the majority is that everyone wants a lot of money in the initial stages, but that doesn’t happen. You don’t earn a lot at work right away, so everything in life is gradual.
Relationship
This point applies more to men who have not found their soul mate or do not even want it, which is what I was. If you are alone and have a lot of time, develop the skill of meeting girls. Register on dating sites, meet people in cafes and on the street, chat in the gym, ask friends about girls you know.
Try different communication strategies: gentleman, macho, shy, sporty guy. Meet girls smarter than you, admit it, win them over.
In various situations, not everything will work out: the wrong words, the wrong method, the wrong person, failures in bed. But don’t stop, this should strengthen you.
And over time, you will learn to understand the opposite sex, learn to easily start a conversation, and make beautiful compliments. Girls will often reciprocate and feel that you are an interesting personality. But don’t be self-confident, look for someone who will appreciate your qualities “without cuts”, and be devoted and faithful to her.
To put it simply - love, suffer, conquer, break up and start over. Become someone you want to spend time with, with whom you will be comfortable in any situation, be able to understand and listen to the other person. And remember that your significant other can always leave you, so enjoy every moment together.
Skills
Start developing skills you didn't have before: for example, breaststroke, speed typing, context planning, defensive driving. Master them, find a mentor on the topic, get training. Such achievements develop a personality and make it multifaceted.
You will also learn to intentionally step out of your comfort zone and overcome fear, which will later become your driving force. All great achievements begin with small victories over yourself.
Over the past 12 months, I have done things that I have never done before: heavy strength training, meditation, training with children, conducting trainings, asceticism.
Spirituality
Determine your values in life, create internal and social rules for yourself, find your “I”.
Finally, find the answer to the eternal question: “Why am I here? What is my mission?
How? Ask yourself important questions, don’t look at other people who are drifting like a boat on the ocean, become a guide for both yourself and others. Read spiritual books, visit spiritual places and, finally, create your own picture of the world order. This is very important, so you will become unshakable and you will have your own faith. Not the one that is shown in the media, but precisely the inner one.
Most people are afraid to ask themselves difficult questions and close themselves off with materialism, like I did in my time, but this is a dead-end branch of development. You can’t close yourself off with things and the bustle of everyday life; they won’t give you the happiness that you will feel when you find something important inside that will lead you further.
Useful habits
As you break bad habits and make structural changes, you will need other habits - and it better be useful.
For example, if you talk a lot, learn to be silent and listen to your interlocutor, even when your tongue is itching - remain silent.
If you eat a lot of sweets, replace them with nuts or dried fruits, do not eat so much chocolate and cookies, and drink sweet tea.
Books are a great way to save yourself from TV and Internet addiction. The brain just doesn’t want to “liquefy” anymore.
If you don’t have anything planned and everything happens just like that, keep a notebook and write down all your tasks for the day, week, month. Write down the thoughts that come to you, fresh ideas, describe events and people. Keep records and analysis of your life.
If you smoke, quit and immediately get into a sport, preferably one where your lungs work the hardest to get all the tar out of you.
Algorithm for structural self-change in 12 months
- Sports activity every day. Decide on your sport for a long time, do it, no matter what, for a whole year.
- Read a lot of books, 3–4 per month. Write down a summary of what you read.
- Develop discipline. Deny yourself pleasures. Stay calm when things are stormy. Try to deny yourself something every month.
- Develop financial literacy. Keep a financial journal and find extra income throughout the year.
- If you are single, look for your soul mate and develop the skill of seduction. If you are no longer alone, fall in love again with your chosen one.
- Learn new skills you didn't know before. Preferably - 1 skill in 2 months.
- Find the answer to why you are here, even an approximate one - it will be good. Spend as much time on this as you think is necessary.
- Get good habits instead of bad ones. This is everyday work.
Victory over yourself is true success in life.
Change is difficult, but possible. The main thing is to want to set yourself interesting (and not so interesting) goals and achieve them, no matter what. Everything will not work out right away, there will be misfires and breakdowns, but the vector of movement must be maintained, and you will definitely break through the barrier of your weakness.
If you think that this requires motivation or money, you are mistaken: you only need one pure desire to become better than you are, and time, which is already so little in our lives. But remember, there is no limit to perfection, this is constant work on yourself, and it continues until the end of your days. A developed personality lives much happier than those who are weak in front of themselves and retreat before life’s circumstances.
Sooner or later, there comes a moment in a person’s life when everything around becomes alien, gray and routine. Few people overcome such a personal crisis calmly, without negative consequences. Some, asking the question: “How to change yourself?”, resort to emotional actions that do not have the desired effect, and as a result cannot get away from this “dead” point, remaining in place or getting carried away by bad habits (alcohol and drug addiction).
Where should change begin?
“Remaking” yourself and your life is a complex process in which moderation is the prerogative. That is, there is no need to rush to change anything radically; this requires preparation and a clear focus on the result. It is worth remembering that a positive attitude plays a big role in transformation, since negative emotions and doubts significantly slow down and complicate the transition process.
How to start a new life and change yourself? The first step is to identify the negative state and unpleasant moments that do not suit the person at the present time. It is important that during self-diagnosis all problems are written down on paper - a visual image helps the subconscious to concentrate and not miss important information.
The second step is to identify the reason why the need for change arose. By writing them down, a person creates motivation for himself to take action that can improve his life and eliminate problems.
How to change yourself for the better? The third step is to decide on a goal, choose the most desirable thing - something through which life will again find bright colors and dreams will become reality. The most common mistake many people make is that at this stage of restructuring their own world, they are not able to decide what exactly they want from life. Goals must be realistic and achievable.
The fourth step is defining actions after achieving the desired result. Depending on what exactly a person wants to achieve, he needs to analyze in detail and describe what positive or negative things can happen after completing the task.
Action is an integral part of the transformation process
In addition to the purpose and motivation that drives change, action is necessary for complete and proper change. How to start a new life and change yourself? Get started:
- play sports, if you want to lose weight;
- study, if desired, gain new knowledge and skills;
- communicate more with the opposite sex if the goal is to achieve his favor.
Any action can be rejected by human consciousness at first, since it is directly related to the state of the body at the moment. Is he comfortable? Warm? Are you worried about hunger and fatigue? Then why does the body need to rise up and leave its comfort zone in order to complete a particular task? In this regard, many are faced with the problem of implementing how to change themselves for the better. At this stage, it is necessary to overcome the natural attitude of consciousness, to force it to submit to your will.
Key points to get you started
Installation is one of the main aspects of the future step towards change. A correctly formulated and constantly repeated thought about victory and achieving a goal helps to overcome the barrier of consciousness that repels the very idea of the emerging “perestroika.” How to change yourself? Mentally imagine yourself there, in a new life, with new emotions and opportunities, perform this procedure as often as possible, and your brain will “absorb” it like a sponge, making it its prerogative. In order not to deviate from the intended goal, you can draw up a kind of action plan, which will detail the steps that can be completed in the very near future. Eg:
- What do I need to get enough sleep? Go to bed no later than 22:00.
- What should you do to fall asleep earlier? Stop watching TV late/spending time on the computer.
The plan should look like this: question - action.
Obstacles you may encounter
Powerlessness, fear, uncertainty, laziness, apathy, fear of letting something new into life - these are psychological blocks activated by the subconscious at the stages of change. Many, when faced with such problems, do not attach much importance to them, thinking that everything will go away by itself, but in reality it turns out exactly the opposite - during attacks of laziness or causeless fear, a person is not able to act according to the planned plan, which means he cannot get out of his comfort zone and change his life.
How to change yourself and bypass possible psychological blockages? First, you need to understand in detail your own “I” and the world around you, determining what exactly is the nature of the origin of obstacles in each specific case: everyday troubles, financial problems, environment (friends, family, colleagues), unsuccessful experiences, mistakes from the past? It is necessary to identify attitudes and programs that prevent new positive thoughts from directing a person towards his goal, and then eliminate them from the subconscious.
A guided path to change. Ways to change yourself from within
Thanks to changes in the inner self, a person changes on the outside, his daily roles undergo major changes, and old habits cease to exist. Most psychologists consider this method of eliminating “malware” to be the gentlest and most controlled. Change yourself! The attitude itself means that a person must independently change his priorities.
Shock
Sometimes shocking situations happen in life that force you to reconsider your attitude towards the world, people and yourself. From a psychological point of view, a method of this kind is not ideal, since it cannot be controlled by a person, and therefore the result can be the most unpredictable - instead of the laziness that has haunted the individual for many years, fear and uncertainty appear, which are even more difficult to eradicate.
Threat to life
Appealing to the instinct of self-preservation often helps to overcome psychological blocks and change oneself without betraying oneself. Anticipating a strong threat, a person acts decisively and quickly achieves the task. However, the use of subconscious coercion is considered a complex and time-consuming process, requiring great physical and psychological costs.
Change of social circle, place of residence, work
Changes of this kind can occur both consciously and unconsciously. For conscious action, in some cases it is necessary to overcome a psychological barrier. The influence of the new society must be strong enough to overcome the subconscious, and positive, drawing a person upward, not downward, otherwise the likelihood of a personality change not for the better increases.
Vision of the result now
By creating for himself some kind of fixed idea, a person provokes the formation of new neural connections, the rooting of the set goal. In turn, the subconscious ceases to put invisible barriers to achieving it, making the goal a priority. How to change yourself internally? The main thing here is to be able to focus attention on the result, and also to have the patience of a child getting on his feet and trying to take his first steps. When choosing a method for seeing the result, you should be ready to go towards your goal, despite mistakes and failures.
Repetition and encouragement
Thoughts are material, which means that constantly scrolling through thoughts about the goal and the positive result leads to its achievement. When the desire “I want to change myself” arises, you should repeat the installation on this process many times.
For every action taken, for every, even the most minimal step, in order not to provoke a new manifestation of psychological blocks, a person must reward himself. Many people who changed themselves, using this method, got rid of invisible barriers. “Goal - achievement - reward” - this is exactly the scheme that will allow you to “implant” a new attitude into the subconscious in a short time.
Psychologists agree that the beginning of change is one of the most important stages in a person’s life. Any changes, even the most minor and imperceptible ones, contribute to personal and spiritual growth, gaining new experience, and therefore the development of society as a whole. A person changes - the world around him changes, the old environment fades into the background, everything new that comes with changes adds brightness to life.
Experts recommend following the tips for changing yourself outlined below.
Slowdown. Mental stop of time
In everyday life, many experience an acute lack of free time, but it is the main assistant in how to change yourself. Our thoughts need constant “shovelling,” and our actions need to be comprehended. Spend at least half an hour a day with your subconscious and consciousness, and you can easily determine why change is so necessary for you now.
Desire is the best motivator
Strive for change - and only then will it overtake you. Without a person's desire to change, no one can force him to do it. Regardless of your quality of life today, you should know that you can change everything for the better.
I'm the only one responsible for everything
A person must be responsible for his actions. Is your personal life not working out? Constantly lacking money? Are you unable to contain your negative emotions? Remember! For this you should blame only yourself, not relatives, not politicians and deputies, not lovers, but yourself. After accepting this as a given, opportunities, options and easy ways of life changes will open up for a person.
Values
Identifying values will help you in the future to navigate what you need at the moment, what you desire most. Setting your priorities right helps you make healthy choices. For example, now the most important thing for you is the birth of a child, but you just can’t get pregnant - this will motivate you to create a plan to achieve your goal.
Determining the cause
An important aspect, without which further progress of change is impossible, is the identification of a problem or reason that makes you think about changing your “I”. Cause-and-effect relationships force a person to act immediately, which is why their definition is especially important.
Say "No" to limiting phrases
“I can’t”, “I can’t and won’t succeed”, “I will (always) suffer all my life.” Perhaps you have already encountered phrases of this kind that sound in your head at moments when you need to perform some responsible action. In order to diagnose the presence of limiting phrases as accurately as possible, they should be constantly written down and then replaced with motivational phrases (“I can,” “I will,” and so on). This will help correct your thoughts and get into a positive frame of mind.
Rejection of bad habits
Determine which habits have the greatest impact on you, and then replace them periodically. Eventually they will disappear completely. You should not suddenly give up what you are used to doing in everyday life - gradually replace the waste of time with some useful activity. For example, instead of playing on the computer, read a book or do housework.
Mood
Hoping for the best allows you not to give up, but remember that excessive, unrealistic expectations may not be met, and you will lose interest in moving on. The main thing is a minimum of skepticism, maximum positivity and self-confidence, as well as a realistic attitude.
Finding help and support
There is nothing prejudiced in asking for help from someone who has more life experience than you. A kind of mentor will help you navigate the thorny path of change without much loss or mental cost. It is better that this is a person from your inner circle, or a professional psychologist.
Stimulus
For every person, the best incentive is his egocentrism and vanity, the desire to occupy a place higher than anyone else around him. There is nothing shameful in this, because your changes are primarily intended for yourself, therefore stimulating the process of personality change with the help of character traits that are negative in everyday life is considered a good way. The stimulus combines the goals, values and motivation of a person, forcing the person to act and fight the subconscious.
(1 ratings, on average: 5,00 out of 5) 
Loading...
