Class hour "What does it mean to be a real person?" What does it mean to be human

Delia and Fernand: We ask you to tell us about man, since this word is used to describe all creatures that have a human appearance. But since their behavior often differs in the most decisive manner, and their interests differ to such an extent that what is noble and good for some is ignoble and evil for others, it turns out that essential contradictions are hidden under the human appearance. In addition, we see that in ourselves sometimes one part of our nature predominates, and sometimes another. Sometimes we don't even know what opportunities are hidden within us, and when they reveal themselves, it comes as a complete surprise to us. How can we direct these different “selves” of ours in the right direction so that they do not cloud our consciousness or, at least, do not destroy our lives and do not harm others?

This question has several aspects. We will touch on some now, and others a little later.

First of all, it is worth recalling that the creature we call man, strictly speaking, is neither united nor even homogeneous. And since it is heterogeneous in nature, we cannot expect constancy and immutability in its manifestations. Even on a purely physical plane, sometimes situations arise when the same words are used to name things that are closely related, but still have differences. If I, for example, say the word “chair”, an image of this object will appear in your imagination. But if I ask you whether this object is horizontal or vertical, what will you tell me? You will answer that it has both vertical and horizontal elements, and there are even some that are neither strictly vertical nor strictly horizontal. In addition, in addition to fixed ones, it may also contain movable elements that can be installed both vertically and horizontally. Agree that other characteristics can be cited: a chair may also consist of rigid and elastic elements, etc.

Humans must be considered in the same way. In our classes, we talked about the fact that all ancient people, considering the structure of a person, divided it into different, more or less harmonious bodies, a kind of “conductors” that consciousness uses to move, depending on the need and the accumulated experience . And we potentially have bodies that we will have to use in the future, when our evolution allows and when we have a real need for them.

From the ancient Egyptians and ancient Indians we learned about the septenary structure, according to which each person actually consists of seven bodies. And since these bodies are interconnected, operating in seven different dimensions or planes of nature, for clarity, they can be imagined as superimposed on one another, like scales or a diving suit. I repeat that this comparison is conditional, but at the initial stage it will help us create an appropriate image.

Anatomy shows that the various systems of the physical body, such as the nervous system and the circulatory system, are very similar in shape and are intertwined in many places. If we could perfectly isolate the nervous system, the skeletal system and the circulatory system, then at first glance they would seem very similar in structure. Nevertheless, they are different, and if we carefully examine them, we will be convinced that they are radically different - so much so that if we did not see them together, we could not imagine them in direct interaction, as they actually do. To the untrained eye, the attachment of the muscle to the tibia may appear to be a simple irregularity; the passage of an artery through the brain - one of the cerebral convolutions; a branch of the nerve ganglion responsible for the blood supply to a certain area - something similar to a fiber, etc.

This is easy to understand with humility in the heart... But if we suddenly want to know everything and our vanity (which to one degree or another is a manifestation of our subconscious) begins to rudely push us forward, then, like a herd of buffaloes, we will rush past the delicate flowers. And when dust and distance hide them from us, we will ask: “Where are these flowers?” And if flowers are understood as a symbol of knowledge, it will become clear how easy it is to pass by them without noticing and even - with the best intentions - trampling them.

I advise you, dear friends, to go through life smoothly, without unnecessary running around and useless stops, as if walking and enjoying the beautiful landscape. In essence, the surrounding reality is exactly like this.

But let's return to our topic. So, according to the ancient teachings, which we accept - not because they are ancient, but because they are true and because no other theory in our century is distinguished by such plausibility - he whom we call man consists - "from the bottom up" - of seven bodies: physical, vital, mental, mental concrete, mental spiritual, intuitive and higher, truly spiritual. Let's give a more detailed explanation of each of them.

Physical body: a programmed “robot”, the most perfect electro-thermodynamic machine, which, however, is no more valuable than any other machine. Our “I” is in love with it and identifies with it, just as we sometimes identify with our car or our favorite animal. On the physical plane we need it, but we exaggerate this need, believing that it will always be useful and without it our further existence is impossible. We identify ourselves so much with this machine and attach such importance to it that, as a rule, we believe that all our other functions and abilities depend on it, not noticing that they are only reflected in it, just as in a braking car they are reflected the driver's will to stop.

Life body: another “robot”, but consisting not of matter, but of energy. This body determines the interconnection of molecules and determines their functions. It is here that all phenomena, collectively called vital phenomena, that characterize objective life, occur. You don’t have to be a sophisticated psychic to perceive it as a kind of transparent “double”, a copy of the physical body. Or rather, this physical body is a copy of it. The body dies precisely when this “double” disintegrates (I mean the immediate cause of death).

Psychic or astral body: another “robot”, but much more “spiritual”. This is also a kind of “double”, but consisting of psychic substance. Here lies the source of our superficial emotions and feelings. This is where many impulses in our lives come from, such as sudden anger or fleeting joy. This body feeds on pleasure and rejects pain, literally and figuratively. Being in the grip of the illusions of this world, it experiences feelings and is itself changeable, fickle, fearful and insidious - not because it is bad, but because of the need to “feel”, enjoy or cause pleasure. This is the basis of sex and all lusts of the flesh. It gradually dissolves after death, except for those cases when its existence is prolonged by the overly materialistic nature of a person or by states of deep “shock”, the consequences of which - in the form of complexes, melancholy, attachment - connect physical life with subsequent incarnation.

Mental concrete body, or body of desires: continuing our “ascent”, we meet this “vehicle” created from mental matter. This is the basis of our egoism, both reasonable and excessive. The root of deepest joy and sadness. A container of great desires, great love and great hatred. This is the “lowest” of our “I”. All previous bodies remain machines. They are not characterized by any awareness of their “I”, with the exception of resistance to destruction. The latter, in essence, is the “instinct of self-preservation” present in all creatures, including those incorrectly called inanimate objects. The specific mind is not really a body, but, being part of what is “below,” it is the support for those that follow and the crown for the previous ones. His existence is dual. He both dies and does not die, since from one life to another a number of subplanes remain from him, which determine the next incarnation and store experience that helps our “I” improve. This is the root of selfishness, aggression and fear. In addition, it is an effective engine for all kinds of actions, and above all those that are “individual” in nature. This is the last level of our “private life”, in the usual sense of the word. The actual mental body: this is our Mind, our “I”. This is something that is no longer our environment and gives us awareness of our individuality and existence separate from the existence of others. It contains lofty, altruistic thoughts, great ideas and mathematical abstractions. In it rest, awaiting their time, all our heroic dreams. Here a thread is woven that, through memories, connects the best that remains of our reincarnations, both in terms of the individual and in terms of conscious participation in the collective. This is our Consciousness, the inner voice that inspires or reproaches us. If our curiosity resides in the concrete mind, then Reason itself is the fulcrum for our dialectical questions and answers, the basis for mystical revelations that come when ordinary arguments are powerless. Here all the contradictions that we can comprehend with our minds are born and die.

Intuitive body: at these “heights” the concept of “body” is used only conditionally - not that principles of organization do not exist here, but at this level there are other laws that we are not able to perceive as principles and goals, but can only feel intuitively. Here resides direct Knowledge, which is beyond the boundaries of rationality and has not yet received its development at this stage of human evolution. In reality, what we usually call intuition is a kind of manifestation of the intuitive subbody operating within our mental body. After all, according to traditional teachings, each of these bodies consists of seven subbodies, which seem to reproduce the whole within it as the unity of its component parts - like concentric rings, when some are firmly inserted into others.

Spiritual body: the place where the Will of Existence resides. The beginning of our immediate existence, isolated from the Cosmic Mind. Our “I” in its highest meaning. The silent contemplator of all our actions and the final judge of ourselves. This is the God of Plato and Paul in us. This is the Osiris-Ani of the Egyptians, who is “like the gods in stature.”

Eastern sources, which have reached us in the most complete form and have now been most deeply studied, usually endow the three higher bodies with amorphous characteristics. But the point is simply the poverty of our everyday languages, which cannot accurately convey what the sacred languages ​​expressed. As a result, everything metaphysical disappears or loses its sound when we try to grasp it with our limited mind. It is simply that the system of higher organization defies our understanding when we look at it “from below” with the help of a limited set of “instruments”. In the same way, for someone observing with the naked eye, the starry sky is nothing more than a chaotic jumble of star lights. We see stars located at a distance of millions of light years from us, as if in the same plane, but, nevertheless, it seems to us that they are not far away. It's all so incomprehensible to the naked eye that we end up sensing a kind of spinning chaos above our heads.

The same thing happens in the microcosm, and a student observing through a microscope the complex life of myriad forms perceives it as dust, without any meaning or connection. But in the Universe everything is intelligently interconnected and subject to general harmony. Everywhere, as far as our understanding is sufficient, this is true, and if we cannot understand something, then this is not yet a reason not to believe in it.

Associating spirituality with chaos and randomness is nothing more than denying what is beyond our understanding. People tend to endow everything unknown with supernatural, fantastic qualities. But everything is subordinated to a wonderful harmony thanks to the Divine Thinker, or God, whatever we call Him. If Good is the choice of the best, pure and incorruptible; if Justice is the determination of the value of each thing in its relationship with others; if Order is the arrangement of each thing in its natural place, then Goodness, Justice and Order are the supports of this beautiful Universe, devoid of any contradictions in its essence. Apparent contradictions are actually the drivers of harmony and the condition for the functioning of the Universe as a single whole. He who knows the Goals understands the Principles. As the Kybalion says, “as above, so below.”

D. and F.: But if we recognize the existence of this harmony, why then do so many contradictions coexist within us that sometimes we feel and act like saints, and sometimes, on the contrary, we are controlled by evil and selfishness? Moreover, these different states can be separated by days and minutes.

Imagine these bodies as a house of seven floors connected by an elevator. In this case, we will call the person moving on the elevator Consciousness. Depending on the floor on which it stops, this or that view, this or that environment opens up in front of it. The elevator will go to the exact floor from which the call came, and not to another, where it may stop a few minutes later. Eastern sages compared consciousness to a monkey jumping along the same tree from branch to branch, almost never stopping at any of them. For example, if your consciousness is focused on what I just talked about, you are, in our building example, on the fourth or fifth floor. But if at that moment someone hits you with a strong blow, you will instantly move to the lower floor, and for a while, the bruise on your body may become the most important place in the world for you.

D. and F.: Then it turns out that consciousness is in some way the eighth body, which, being mobile, can visit other bodies and be a connecting link between them?

No. Consciousness is not a body, which is a complexly organized structure. Consciousness is the “Eye of the Soul” (corresponding in the East to the eighth aspect of Shiva), which is directed in different directions. Consciousness, in the form in which we can perceive and use it, does not consist of the material of which these bodies are made, but is a kind of subbody, absolutely mobile, consisting of mental substance. I repeat, I mean consciousness in the sense in which we perceive and use it in everyday life. In reality, we should talk about seven types of consciousness, but this is beyond the scope of this topic and is much more complex than our question.

D. and F.: Can we somehow control this consciousness so as not to be constantly in a state of “confusion and vacillation” under the influence of either external factors or internal experiences.

Yes we can. It is noteworthy that in our century, when psychology was rediscovered and the bizarre flights of the Psyche butterfly were studied from different points of view, research has not yet established the fundamental structure and structure of our subtle part. And the knowledge gained serves only to “patch holes” in individual “traumatic” cases, and not to provide the average person with the opportunity for self-control. Psychologists themselves, when faced with critical or difficult situations, behave as if they were not engaged in psychology, but worked, say, as watchmakers or astronomers. It’s like a shoemaker without boots: after all, for example, the last thing we can expect from a mechanic is that he can repair his own car. In any case, not always.

Thus, the modern science of psychology is paradoxical, and psychological research, with rare exceptions, is essentially just a pile of confusing terminology. Jung was born too early, and those who today study some of his valuable ideas are often attacked by a straightforward, materialistic science that treats the soul as an emanation of the body, inextricably linked with it in everything.

But you know simple and effective means through which, with great desire and perseverance, you can largely control your actions, feelings and thoughts. If every time before you do something you ask yourself to what plane this action fundamentally belongs and what body “directs” it, you will see that it is not so difficult to achieve self-control from self-awareness. Socrates spoke about this, and he showed it by the example of his own death. And you need to prove it with your own life.

For example, if you know that an outburst of anger is caused by the excitement of your emotional body, above which there is another, responsible for the mind; if you see all the pros and cons and feel that everything is subordinated to the light of high spirituality, then it is likely that you will laugh at your own anger or, at least, like the divine Plato, you will neither act yourself nor judge others while in a state of irritation. Therefore, carefully observe yourself, study yourself and, if in doubt, turn to the Teachers of Wisdom, who in their teachings left golden keys to our deeds. Ask yourself, for example: How would Socrates or Confucius act in my place? And the light will illuminate you from within.

D. and F.: This is true, but we will proceed from the fact that we are young and are neither Socrates nor Confucius. It seems that the latter lamented that he did not have another hundred years of life to understand some of the secrets of nature spoken of in the I Ching. How can a young person who does not have sufficient experience cope with such situations with dignity, given that youth is characterized by impulsive actions?

That's a good question. But if you stop identifying yourself with your body and think about the fact that your spirit is infinitely old and that your consciousness reincarnates over millions of years, accumulating its experience... Then what, in essence, is the difference between a young man of 20-30 years old and old man? What do these small years mean in comparison with the huge number of centuries that you have lived?.. Your Soul is old and knows how to cope with many situations. If you turn to your Soul, and not to new forms of your current personality, you will see that there is a very large potential for Wisdom within you. Diligent reading of the classics will refresh these memories, and you will be able to control your emotions and desires instead of giving in to them easily.

You know that every form of life involves war, in other words, conflict between its constituent parts. As the Indian Bhagavad Gita teaches us, leaving the battlefield means behaving basely and unworthily. Within ourselves we need to fight everything that blocks our path to perfection. Dignity is a natural desire for the good and eternal. Dignity as such is neither arrogance nor humility. This is the ability to determine for our consciousness exactly the place that it has the right to occupy in accordance with the long path of human development. This way, by fulfilling your responsibilities, you will have access to your rights, live a good life, and will not commit actions that you would have to regret later.

I know that it will not be easy to put all this into practice constantly: the world is full of disembodied human beings who, taking on their ephemeral physical life or driven by their fantasies, create obstacles along the way. But it is appropriate to recall the ancient wisdom that says that it is better to suffer from injustice than to allow it to happen. And since (as the Stoics, whom you have read so much, say) there are things that depend and those that do not depend on us, you will feel that in practical life there are situations that you are not able to change, but there are others that directly concern you, which you can influence. In the first case, all that remains is to wait for another, favorable moment, and in the second, to enter into battle courageously and actively, trying to overcome difficulties, not forgetting that before winning a war, you have to lose a great many battles.

Also beware of being overwhelmed by an excessive desire for perfection, which can cause you to abandon your work and achievements and prevent you from achieving optimal results. Every step forward is a right step, and it is necessary to have a meek heart to avoid inappropriate comparisons with the great, so that our efforts do not come to naught after the first defeats. If you cannot build a palace of marble, at least take some logs to build a small hut to live in - it is better than living in an open field like animals.

So, we need to persistently strive for spiritual achievements, but at the same time not despairing and being content with what we achieve, applying all the strength and all the warmth of our hearts. Others, more gifted ones, will come who will continue our work, but our efforts will never be wasted. Even our most modest internal step towards Good is in some sense a step for all humanity. Not a single person is exempt from responsibility for the course of History, but, on the other hand, no one is the master of History, its owner. We must all create it little by little, and the best beginning is not that which comes from transitory material values, but that which is realized on other, less ephemeral planes of consciousness, inevitably finding its reflection in the world in due time.

If every day you overcome at least one negative urge within yourself; if you cope with one vice every year; if every decade you manage to improve your self-control, it means that you are making History and with your actions you are helping not only yourself, but all people. Even one person who, although he does not fully control himself, still knows how to restrain his aggressive impulses in thoughts, words and deeds in a timely manner, who can correctly and convincingly explain to himself and others the nature of our behavior, who proves with his very life, that a person is not a thinking animal, that he belongs to another kingdom of Nature, which considers questions of the spirit to be primary in relation to the questions of the “sleeping spirit”, or matter - such a person is an island of peace and harmony in the ocean of cataclysms of our century, just like any other period of time subject to materialism.

Materialism is a despot perched on the heads of millions, and everyone internally longs to get rid of it, whether they are aware of it or not. Materialism continues to exist because people do not know themselves, their structure, and do not know Nature. Give people an example of real culture, meaning by culture knowledge and its correct application, and then your work will not be in vain.

Forgive me for repeating myself, but this is the most important question. In the face of reality and the necessity of human coexistence, one illiterate person who has mastered the basics of the art of self-knowledge and self-control is worth thousands of our scholars in various fields of this illusory world. They talk tirelessly about philosophy, psychology, etc., but at the same time they operate like a simple janitor who knows nothing else but sweeping, with the only difference being that the janitor does his job well. If such “experts” find themselves in front of a fire, or a beautiful body, or a mountain of money, you will see how they will fuss, driven by the impulse of desire, completely forgetting that they have a “body of desire” and, therefore, not making the slightest attempt restrain this desire or direct it to achieve noble goals. But then what is the point of what they know - or think they know? What is all this for?.. It’s just dust, rubbish, husk. It is useless to work with such “experts”, and if we study their “sciences”, it is only in order to be able to refute them. In the same way, poison is extracted from snake teeth only to make an antidote from them and overcome the power of the snakes themselves.

Are you asking me what it means to “become human” (and of course you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be on this page)? Don't know. For example, anthropologists see the reason for the “humanization” of hominids in being with their own kind and becoming smarter in joint development; existentialist philosophers that “a person cannot be defined because initially he is nothing” and he, in fact, is only what he makes of himself; in turn, psychoanalysts, in particular Jung, believe that a person becomes a person, an individual, only in the process of self-knowledge and disclosure of his own self.

Today we decided to publish another point of view on this issue, which belongs to one of the founders of humanistic psychology, Carl Rogers. As a true humanist, he is sure that in order to become a person, you need to establish contact with your real “I”, try to find your true self, getting rid of masks and facades, listen to your own feelings and risk getting rid of everything imposed from the outside. It would seem, what could be simpler? But no. Try to at least answer the classic Rogerian question: “ "That's the same. But what if the answer is no? Perhaps I should start by reading Rogers.

Let's go deeper

While working at the University of Chicago Counseling Center, I had the opportunity to interact with people who came to me with a variety of personal problems. For example, a student worried about failing a college exam; a housewife disillusioned with her marriage; a person who feels that he is on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown and psychosis: a responsible worker who spends most of his time in sexual fantasies and cannot cope with work; a bright student paralyzed by the belief that he is hopelessly inadequate; a parent frustrated by their child's behavior; a charming girl who, without any reason, is overcome by bouts of deep depression; a woman who fears that life and love are passing her by, and her diploma with good grades is too little compensation for this; a person who has become convinced that powerful or sinister forces are conspiring against him. I could continue to multiply these multiple and unique problems that people come to us with. They represent the fullness of life experience. However, I do not feel satisfaction in giving this list because, as a consultant, I know that the problem that is expressed in the first conversation will not be the same problem in the second and third conversations, and by the tenth conversation it will turn into a completely different problem or a whole series of problems.

I have come to believe that, despite this baffling horizontal diversity and multi-layered vertical complexity, there may be just one problem. As I delve into the experiences of many clients during the psychotherapeutic relationships we try to create for them, I come to the conclusion that every client asks the same question. Behind the problematic situation that the individual complains about, behind problems with school, his wife, his boss, behind the problem of his own uncontrollable or strange behavior, frightening feelings lies what constitutes the client’s main search. It seems to me that deep down every person asks: “Who am I really? How can I get in touch with my real self, which is at the root of my superficial behavior? How can I become myself?

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The process of becoming

Look under the mask

Let me try to explain what I mean when I say that it seems to me that the goal that a person most wants to achieve, the goal that he consciously or unconsciously pursues, is to become himself.

When a person comes to me concerned about his own unique difficulties, I am sure that the best thing is to try to create a relationship with him in which he feels freedom and security. My goal is to understand how he feels in his inner world, to accept him as he is: to create an atmosphere of freedom in which he can move wherever he wants, along the waves of his thoughts and states. How does he use this freedom?

My experience is that he uses freedom to become more and more himself. He begins to break the false facade, throw off the masks and roles in which he met life. It turns out that he is trying to find something more important; something that would more truly represent himself. First he sheds the masks of which he was to some extent aware. For example, a young student describes in a conversation with a consultant one of the masks she uses. She is very unsure whether behind this everyone-pacifying, ingratiating façade there is any real “I” with my own beliefs.

“I was thinking about this responsibility to conform to the norm. I've somehow developed something of a skill, I guess... well... a habit... of trying to make people around me feel at ease, or behaving in such a way that everything goes smoothly. There must always be a person who pleases everyone. At a meeting, or a small party, or whatever... I could make everything go well and still seem like I was having a good time, too. And sometimes I myself was surprised that I defended a point of view opposite to mine, afraid of offending the person who expressed it. In other words, I have never had a strong and definite attitude towards things. And now about the reason why I did this: probably because I was like this too often at home. I simply did not defend my beliefs until I no longer understood whether I had any beliefs to defend at all. I wasn't myself, to be really honest, and I didn't really know what I was; I was just playing a kind of false role."

In this passage you see the client examining his mask, realizing his dissatisfaction with it, and wanting to know how to get to the real self behind the mask, if there is one.

In this attempt to discover one's own self, the psychotherapeutic relationship is usually used by the client to explore, explore different aspects of his own experience, and become aware of and be prepared to face the deep contradictions that he often discovers. He learns how much his behavior and the feelings he experiences are unreal, not something that comes from the true reactions of his body, but represent a facade, a wall behind which he was hiding. He discovers how much in life he follows what he needs to be, and not what he really is. He often finds that he exists only as a response to the demands of other people, it seems to him that he has no “I” and that he is only trying to think, feel and behave as others think he should think, feel and behave. behave.

In this regard, I was surprised to discover how accurately, with deep psychological understanding, the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard described the problem of the individual more than a century ago. He pointed out that we often encounter despair that comes from the impossibility of choosing or unwillingness to be oneself, but the deepest despair comes when a person chooses “to be not himself, to be different.” On the other hand, the desire to “be the “I” that you really are” is, of course, something the opposite of despair, and for this choice a person bears the greatest responsibility. When I read some of his writings, I almost feel that he must have heard everything that our clients said as they, worried, frustrated and tormented, sought and explored the reality of the Self.

This search becomes even more exciting when they discover that they are tearing off those false masks, the falsity of which they did not even suspect. With fear, they begin to explore the whirlwinds and even storms of feelings within themselves. Throwing off a mask that has long been an integral part of oneself causes deep excitement, but the individual moves towards a goal that includes freedom of feeling and thought. This is illustrated by several statements from a woman who participated in a number of psychotherapeutic conversations. She uses many metaphors when talking about her struggle to get to the core of her personality.

“As I see it now, layer by layer I got rid of defensive reactions. I'll build them, test them, and then reset them when I see you've stayed the same. I didn't know what was at the bottom and I was very afraid to get to the bottom, but I had to keep trying. At first I felt that there was nothing inside me - only a huge emptiness was felt where I wanted to have a solid core. Then I felt that I was standing in front of a massive stone wall, too high to climb over and too thick to walk through. The day came when the wall became transparent rather than impenetrable. After that, the wall seemed to disappear, but behind it I discovered a dam holding back the violently churning waters. I felt that I was holding back the pressure of this water, and if I had made even a tiny crack, I and everything around me would have been destroyed by the subsequent flow of feelings, which were represented in the form of water. In the end, I could no longer withstand this tension and let go. In reality, all my actions boiled down to the fact that I succumbed to the feeling of acute self-pity that gripped me, then to the feeling of hatred, then to love. After this experience, I felt as if I had jumped over the edge of an abyss to the other side and, after staggering a little and standing on the very edge, I finally felt that I was safe. I don’t know what I was looking for and where I was going, but then I felt, as I always felt when I really lived, that I was moving forward.”

It seems to me that this passage conveys quite well the feelings of many individuals: if the false facade, the wall, the dam does not hold, everything will be carried away in the fury of the feelings locked in their inner world. However, this passage also shows the irresistible desire to seek and become oneself experienced by the individual. It also outlines the way in which an individual determines the reality of his inner world - when he fully experiences his feelings, which on an organic level are himself, as this client experiences self-pity, hatred and love - then he feels confident , which is part of your real “I”.

Experiencing feelings

I would like to say something more about the experience of feelings. In reality, this is the discovery of unknown components of one's “I”. The phenomenon I am about to describe is very difficult to fully comprehend. There are a thousand reasons in our daily lives not to allow ourselves to experience our relationships to the fullest. These are reasons that stem from our past and present, reasons that are rooted in our social environment. To experience feelings freely, in their entirety, seems too dangerous. But in the safety and freedom of a psychotherapeutic relationship, these feelings can be experienced fully, as they are in reality. They can and are experienced in what I would like to think of as “pure form,” so that at the moment a person is really his fear, or really his tenderness, or anger, or whatever.

Perhaps I can make this clear again by giving an example from one client's therapy notes, an example that will show and reveal what I mean. A young man, a graduate student who has been involved in psychotherapy for a long time, is puzzled by a vague feeling that he feels within himself. Gradually, he defines it as some kind of fear, for example, of failing exams or not getting a doctorate. Then there is a long pause. From now on, let the recording of the conversation speak for itself.

Client: I kind of let it leak out. But I also related it to you and my relationship with you. I feel one thing - that the fear of this disappears; or is there something else... it's so hard to grasp... I kind of have two different feelings towards this. Or somehow two “I”. One is frightened, although he is holding on to something, and I now feel this person quite clearly. You know, I kind of need something to hold on to... and I feel scared.

Therapist: Hm. This is how you may be feeling right now, how you have felt all this time, and maybe now you are feeling the same way about holding on to our relationship.

Client: Won't you allow me to do this, because, you know, I kind of need it. I can feel so lonely and scared without it.

Therapist: Sure sure. Let me hold on to this because I will be terribly scared without it. Let me hold on to this... (Pause).

Client: It's kind of like, “Will you let me have a dissertation or a doctorate, so...” because I kind of need this little world. I mean…

Therapist: In both cases, it's like a prayer, right? Give it to me because I need it so much. I'll be terribly scared without it. ( Long pause).

Client: I have a feeling... I somehow can’t go further... It’s like a little boy with a prayer, somehow even... What kind of gesture is this - a plea? ( Places palms together as if in prayer). Isn't this funny? Because…

Therapist: You folded your hands as if in prayer.

Client: Yep, that's right! Won't you do this for me? Oh, this is terrible! Who am I, please?

Perhaps this passage will reveal a little of what I am talking about - experiencing feeling to its limit. Here he is, at this moment feeling like nothing other than a begging little boy, pleading, begging, dependent. At this moment he is all this prayer. Of course, he almost immediately recoils from the experience, saying, “Who am I, please?” - but it left its mark. As he says a moment later: “It’s so wonderful when, when all this, something new comes out of me. Every time I’m so amazed, and then I have this feeling again, like a feeling of fear that I have so much that I might be hiding something.” He understands that it has burst out and that in this moment he is all his addiction, and he is amazed at how it happened.

In this way - “all out” - not only addiction is experienced. It could be pain, grief, jealousy, destructive anger, strong desire, or trust and pride, or sensitive tenderness, or outgoing love. It can be any of those emotions that a person is capable of.

Gradually from these kinds of experiences I came to know that at such a moment the individual begins to be who he is. When a person, in the process of psychotherapy, feels in this way all those emotions that arise in him organismically, moreover, being aware of them and expressing them openly, then he will feel himself in all the richness that exists in his inner world. Then he became who he is.

Discovering yourself in experience

Let's continue to consider the question of what it means to become yourself. This is a very confusing question, and I will again try to answer it, albeit as a guess, based on the client's statements that are recorded between conversations. A woman recounts how the various facades under which she lived seemed to crumple and crumble, causing not only a feeling of confusion, but also of relief. She continues:

You know, it seems as if all the effort spent on keeping the elements in that arbitrary pattern is completely unnecessary, in vain. You think you have to make the pattern yourself, but there are so many pieces and it's so hard to figure out how to fit them together. Sometimes you put them wrong, and the more pieces that don't fit, the more effort it takes to put the pattern together, until finally you get so tired of it all that you think this terrible mess is better than continuing to work. And then you discover that these mixed pieces fall into place quite naturally, and without your effort a living pattern arises. All you have to do is discover it, and in the process you will find yourself and your own place. You must even allow your own experience to reveal its meaning; the moment you specify what it means, you will find yourself at war with yourself.

Let me bring out the meaning of this poetic description: the meaning that it has for me. I believe what she is saying is that to be herself is to discover the pattern, the underlying order that exists in the ever-changing flow of her experience. To be herself is to discover the unity and harmony that exists in her own feelings and reactions, rather than trying to use a mask to hide experience or trying to give it a structure that it does not possess. This means that the real "I" is something that can be quietly discovered in one's own experience, and not something that is imposed on one.

By citing excerpts from these clients, I have tried to suggest what happens in the warm, understanding atmosphere of a developing relationship with a therapist. It seems that gradually, very painfully, the individual explores something behind the masks that face the world; or what lay behind the masks with which he deceived himself. Deeply, often very vividly, the client experiences various aspects of himself that were hidden inside. In this way he becomes more and more himself - not a façade, not a conformist to others, not a cynic who rejects all feelings, not a façade of intellectual rationality, but a living, breathing, feeling, pulsating process - in short, he becomes a man .

The man who appears

I imagine some of you will ask, “But what kind of person is he becoming? It is not enough to say that he gets rid of facades. What kind of person is behind them? The answer to this question is not easy. Since one of the most obvious facts is that each individual tends to become an independent, different, unique person, I would like to highlight several, in my opinion, characteristic trends. No one person will fully embody these characteristics, no one will fully fit the description I will offer, but I see that it is possible to draw some generalizations that are based on my experience of participating in psychotherapeutic relationships with very many clients.

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Openness to experience

First of all, I would like to say that the individual becomes more open to his experience. This statement has great meaning for me. This is the opposite of protection ⓘ Protection in psychology is a regulatory system of personality stabilization, aimed at “protecting” consciousness from negative, traumatic experiences. - Approx. ed.. Psychological research has shown that if data from our senses contradicts our self-image, this data is distorted. In other words, we cannot see everything that our senses convey to us, but only what corresponds to our idea of ​​ourselves.

And now, in the safe atmosphere of the relationship that I spoke about, in place of these defensive reactions or rigidity ⓘ Rigidity is difficulty in making the necessary changes in activity. - Approx. ed. gradually comes an ever-increasing openness to experience. The individual becomes increasingly open to the awareness of his own feelings and relationships as they exist for him on an organic level, as I have tried to describe. He also begins to more adequately, impartially perceive reality as it exists outside of him, without squeezing it into pre-adopted schemes. He begins to see that not all trees are green, not all men are stern fathers, not all women reject him, not all the failures of his experience indicate that he is bad, and the like. He is able to accept the obvious as it is rather than distort it to fit the pattern he already holds. As one might expect, this increasing openness to experience makes him more realistic when encountering new people, new situations, and new problems. This means that his beliefs are not rigid and he can deal with contradictions normally. He may receive a lot of contradictory information and not try to reject this situation. The openness of consciousness to what currently exists within it and in the situation surrounding it, it seems to me, is an important characteristic of a person born in the process of psychotherapy.

Perhaps this statement will be clearer if I illustrate it with an excerpt from a taped conversation. The young specialist in the forty-eighth conversation talks about how he became more open to his bodily and some other feelings.

Client: It seems impossible to me that anyone could talk about all the changes they feel. But I actually recently felt that I had become more attentive and more objective about my physical condition. I mean I don't expect too much from myself. Here's how it works in practice: I feel like in the past I've typically struggled with post-dinner fatigue. Well, now I’m completely sure that I’m actually tired, that I’m not making this tiredness up at all, I’m just experiencing a loss of strength. It seems that I used to spend almost all my time criticizing this fatigue.

Therapist: So, you can allow yourself to be tired, instead of feeling critical of it along with the tiredness.

Client: Yeah, that I shouldn't be tired or anything. And I think that in some ways it’s quite wise that I just don’t have to fight this fatigue now; and with that, I feel like I also need to slow down. So being tired is not such a bad thing. And I think I can kind of relate why I shouldn't have behaved that way to the kind of father I have and how he views it. For example, imagine I was sick and told him about it. It would probably seem outwardly that my father would like to help me with something, but at the same time he would say: “Well, damn it, here’s another nuisance!” You know, something like this.

Therapist: It's like if you're sick there's actually something annoying about it.

Client: Yeah. I'm sure my father is as disrespectful of his body as I am. Last summer I turned around somehow and dislocated something in my back; I heard it crunch and everything. At first I had sharp pain all the time, really severe pain. I called a doctor to see me. The doctor said that it’s okay, it will go away on its own, you just need to not bend over too much. Well, that was a few months ago, and only recently did I notice that... damn, it really hurts, and it still hurts now... And it's not my fault at all.

Therapist: This does not characterize you in a bad way at all.

Client: No... and one of the reasons why I'm more tired than I should be is because I'm constantly stressed from this pain, and so... I've already made an appointment with the doctor to check me out and get an x-ray or something. something. In some ways, I guess you could say I feel more accurately... or feel more objectively about it all. And this is truly, as I say, a profound change; and of course, my relationship with my wife and two children... Well, you wouldn't know me if you could see how I feel... like you... I mean... it just seems like there really is nothing more beautiful than sincerely and actually... really feeling love for my own children and being loved by them at the same time. I don't know how to express this. We have so much increased respect... we both have for Judy... and we just noticed... as we started doing this... we noticed such a huge change in her... It seems like it's a very profound thing.

Therapist: I think what you want to tell me is that you can now hear yourself more correctly. If your body tells you that it is tired, you hear it and believe it instead of criticizing it; if you are hurting, you can hear it: if you feel that you really love your wife or children, you can feel it, and it seems to show up in changes in themselves as well.

Here, in a relatively small but significant passage, you can see much of what I have been trying to say about openness to experience. Previously, this person could not freely feel pain or illness because it was not accepted by the father. He could not feel tenderness and love for his children, because these feelings would indicate his weakness, and he needed to show the facade “I am strong.” But now he is able to be truly open to the experience of his body: he can be tired when he is tired; he can feel pain when he is in pain: he is able to freely feel the love he feels for his daughter; and he can also feel and express irritation towards her. As he reports in the next part of the conversation, he can live the experience of his whole organism, rather than closing it off from awareness.

Faith in your body

It is especially difficult to describe the second quality that appears in a person after the process of psychotherapy. This person seems to increasingly discover that his own organism can be trusted: that the organism is the appropriate instrument for choosing the behavior most appropriate to a given situation.

I will try to convey this to you in a more intelligible form. Perhaps you can understand my description by imagining an individual who is always faced with such a real choice:

“Will I spend my vacation with my family or alone?”, “Should I drink the third cocktail you offer me?”, “Is this the right person to be my partner in love and in life?”

How will a person behave in such situations after psychotherapy? To the extent that a person is open to all of his experience, he has access to all the data available to him on which to base his behavior in a particular situation. He has knowledge of his feelings and motivations, which are often complex and contradictory. He can easily feel the entire set of social demands: from relatively strict social “laws” to the desires of children and family. Memories of similar situations and the consequences of various behavior are available to him. He has a relatively correct perception of this situation in all its complexity. He can allow his entire organism, with the participation of conscious thought, to consider, weigh and balance every stimulus, need and demand, their relative importance and strength. Having made this complex weighing and balancing, he is able to find that course of action that seems to best satisfy all his long-term and immediate needs in the situation.

When weighing and balancing the components of a given life choice, his body will, of course, make mistakes. There will be erroneous elections. But as he strives to be open to his experience, there is an ever wider and faster awareness of the unsatisfactory consequences of a decision, an ever faster correction of erroneous choices.

It may be helpful to realize that most of us have a weakness in this weighing and balancing process in that we include in our experience what is not relevant to it and exclude what is. Thus, an individual may insist on a self-image such as “I know when to drink in moderation,” when openness to his past experiences shows that this is unlikely to be true. Or a young woman is able to see only the good qualities of her future spouse, while openness to experience would show that he also has shortcomings.

Typically, when a client is open to their experience, they begin to find their body more trustworthy. He feels less afraid of his emotional reactions. There is a constant growth of faith and even disposition towards the complex, rich, varied set of feelings and inclinations that exist in man at the organismic level. Consciousness, instead of being the guardian of numerous and dangerous unpredictable impulses, of which only a few can be allowed to come into being, becomes a contented inhabitant of the society of impulses, feelings and thoughts, which are found to govern themselves very well when they are not watched with caution. fear.

Internal locus

Another direction evident in the process of becoming a person relates to the source, or locus, of the choices of his decisions or value judgments. The individual increasingly begins to feel that the locus of assessment lies within himself. Less and less he seeks others' approval or disapproval of decisions, choices and standards by which to live. He realizes that choice is his personal matter; that the only question that makes sense is " Does my lifestyle fully satisfy and truly express me?«.

I think this is perhaps the most important question for a creative individual.

Obviously you will understand me better if I illustrate this with an example. I would like to present a small part of a taped conversation with a young woman, a graduate student, who came to a counselor for help. At first she was worried about many problems, and she even wanted to commit suicide. During the conversation, one of the feelings that she discovered in herself was her great desire to be dependent, namely the desire to give someone the opportunity to direct her life. She was very critical of those who did not give her enough guidance. She talked about all her teachers, bitterly worrying that none of them taught her anything that had deep meaning. Gradually, she began to realize that part of her difficulties were due to the fact that as a student she had no initiative in participating in classes. And then comes the passage that I want to quote

I think this passage will give you some idea of ​​what it means in your experience to have a locus of evaluation located within yourself. This passage refers to a later conversation with this young woman, when she began to realize that perhaps she, too, was partly responsible for the shortcomings in her own education.

Client: Well, now I'm interested to know if I was just beating around the bush, gaining only superficial knowledge and not seriously studying the subjects themselves?

Therapist: Maybe you've been poking here, poking there, instead of really digging deeper somewhere.

Client: Yeees. That's why I say... ( Slowly and very thoughtfully). Well, with that being said, it's really up to me. I mean, it seems quite obvious to me that I cannot depend on anyone else to educate me. ( Very quiet). I'll really have to get it myself.

Therapist: You really begin to realize that there is only one person who can educate you; you begin to realize that perhaps no one else can educate you.

Client: Yes. ( Long pause. She sits thinking). I have all the symptoms of fear. ( Laughs quietly).

Therapist: Fear? Is this what's scary? Is this what you mean?

Client: Yes. ( A very long pause, obviously struggling with his feelings).

Therapist: Would you like to be more specific about what you mean? What actually makes you feel afraid?

Client: (Laughs). I... uh... I don't know for sure if that's true... I mean... well, I actually feel like I'm a cut-off piece... ( Pause). And that I was very... I don't know... in a vulnerable position, but I... um... I nursed it, and... it came out almost without words. It seems to me... this is something... I allowed it to come out.

Therapist: It's hardly a part of you.

Client: Well, I felt surprised.

Therapist: It’s like, “Well, for God’s sake, did I really say that?” ( Both chuckle).

Client: I actually don't think I've had this feeling before. I... uh... well, it really feels like I'm saying something that is truly a part of me. ( Pause). Or... uh... ( Completely confused). I feel as if I... I don’t know... I feel strong, and, however, I also have a feeling... I recognize it as fear, a feeling of fear.

Therapist: So what you're saying is that when you say something like that, you have at the same time a feeling of fear about what you said, right?

Client: Hmmm... I feel it. For example, I feel it inside now... as if some kind of power or some kind of outlet is rising. As if it were something really big and strong. And yet... uh... it was almost a physical feeling that I was left alone and, as it were, cut off from... from the support that I always had.

Therapist: You feel like it's something big and strong, rushing out, and at the same time you feel like you've cut yourself off from any support by saying it.

Client: Hmmm... Maybe this... I don't know... This is a violation of some structure that has always connected me, it seems to me.

Therapist: This seems to undermine the structure and its connections.

Client: Hmmm... ( Silent, then carefully, but with conviction). I don't know, but I feel like after this I'll start doing more than I think I should be doing. How much do I still need to do! It feels like I need to find new ways to navigate so many paths in my life... but maybe I'll see that I'm getting better at some things.

I hope that the above dialogue gives you some idea of ​​the power that a person feels in being a unique being responsible for himself. The anxiety that accompanies taking responsibility is also visible here. When we realize that “I am the one who chooses” and “I am the one who determines the value of experience for myself,” it both empowers and terrifies us.

Reading the classics

The desire to exist as a process

I would like to highlight one final characteristic of these individuals, where they make an effort to discover themselves and become themselves. The fact is that they are probably more satisfied with existing as a process than as a frozen entity. When one of them just enters a psychotherapeutic relationship, he probably wants to reach a more stable state: he strives to get closer to the line behind which the solutions to his problems are hidden or where the key to family well-being is hidden. In the freedom of the psychotherapeutic relationship, such an individual usually gets rid of these rigidly established goals and comes to a truer understanding that he is not a frozen entity, but a process of becoming.

One client at the end of psychotherapy says in confusion: “I have not yet finished the work of integrating and reorganizing my personality: it only makes you think, but does not discourage you, especially now that I understand that this is a long process... When you feel yourself in action “, knowing where you are going, although not always realizing it, all this excites, sometimes upsets, but always maintains the spirit.”

In this statement you can see both the faith in your body that I spoke about, and also the awareness of yourself as a process. This is a personal description of the state when you accept that you are a stream of becoming, and not a finished product. This means that a person is a flowing process, and not a frozen, static entity; it is a flowing river of change, not a piece of solid material; it is an ever-changing inflorescence of possibilities, not a frozen sum of characteristics.

Here is another expression of the same fluidity, or, in other words, of current existence at a given moment: “This whole purpose of sensations and the meanings that I have so far discovered in them seem to have led me to a process that at the same time both delightful and terrifying. It seems to consist in allowing my experience to carry me, as it seems to me, forward, towards goals which I can only dimly define when I try to understand at least the current meaning of this experience. There is a sense of floating along with a complex stream of experience, with a delightful opportunity to understand its ever-changing complexity.”

Conclusion

I tried to tell you about what was going on in the lives of the people I was lucky enough to be in relationships with while they were struggling to become themselves. I have dared to describe as precisely as possible the meanings that seem to be involved in the process of becoming a person. I am sure that not only this process occurs in psychotherapy. I am sure that my perception of this process is not clear or complete, since its understanding and comprehension is constantly changing. I hope you will accept it as a current hypothetical description and not as something definitive.

One of the reasons I emphasize that this description is hypothetical is because I want it to be clear that I am not saying, “This is what you should become. This is your goal." Rather, I am saying that there were multiple meanings to these experiences that my client and I shared. Perhaps writing about the experiences of others can clarify or make more sense of your own experiences. I pointed out that every individual probably asks himself two questions: “Who am I?” and “How can I become myself?” I argued that the process of becoming occurs in a favorable psychological climate: that in it the individual throws off, one after another, the protective masks in which he encountered life; that he fully experiences his hidden qualities; that he discovers in these experiences a stranger living behind these masks, a stranger who is himself. I have tried to give a description of the characteristic qualities of the emerging person; a person more open to all components of his organismic experience; a person who develops trust in his body as an instrument of sensory life; a person who believes that the locus of evaluation lies within himself; a person who learns to live as a participant in an ongoing process in which, in the flow of experience, he constantly discovers his new qualities. These are some of the components that I think go into becoming a person.

As Anton Pavlovich Chekhov said: “Everything in a person should be beautiful: his face, his clothes, his thoughts, his soul.” He knew exactly what it meant to be a man with a capital M, and he encouraged everyone to become human. But its time has long stopped, more than one decade has passed, and today everyone understands this expression in their own way.

What types of essays are there?

As an example, we can cite the thematic essay: “What it means to be human,” which describes the most common distinctive features.

“Man is a calling. And all because a real person harmoniously combines such qualities as sincerity, honesty, courage, and kindness. Such people can be easily recognized in a crowd. They seem to radiate compassion and good nature. The one who calls himself “man” will never refuse help, will always stand up for a just cause and will not judge anyone. He will treat everyone equally and will never humiliate anyone. And if I am asked, “What does it mean to be human?” I will immediately answer that to be human means to give happiness to others, to live with a clear conscience and to have only positive character traits.”

Personality qualities

Schoolchildren write essays on a given question, starting in elementary school. And for the most part, such essays are just a list of positive character traits. Moreover, they are so positive that they create a certain ideal image that has never existed and will never exist. And if in the 4th grade a child, having listed the positive character traits of a person, definitely has good ingenuity, then in the 11th grade, essays of this format will not receive such flattering reviews.

And not because personality traits are not important for a person, but because understanding of certain aspects is necessary.

Aristotle's Wisdom

In the works of Aristotle, there is one interesting treatise called “The Principle of the Golden Mean”. Its main essence is quite prosaic: between two opposing character traits there is a “golden mean”, which is virtue.

Significance

So, everything is simple here: a significant person is one who is needed and important. Paradoxically, everyone living in society strives to be significant and recognized. But to be a real person, you don’t need to have huge financial resources. An individual has the right to experience feelings of indignation and irritation, he is allowed to do crazy things. This is what it means to be human. And the significance of a person from the fact that he experiences a diverse range of feelings is not underestimated. On the contrary, it makes him more sincere. And this is not such a bad trait that characterizes what a person should be.

A real hero

The review of true human qualities does not end here. To the question “What does it mean to be human?” Junsei Terasawa, a wandering Buddhist monk, responded at the time. He spent a long time researching the history of the emergence of religions and civilization in general. And gradually I came to the conclusion that all the religions of the world are based on reverence and respect.

And in ancient times, as you know, they revered not kings, emperors and dictators, but heroes. They were always looked up to and supported. They followed the hero, they died with him, they made up legends about him and always remembered him. The heroes of the past were not afraid of death or loss of material values; they had limitless consciousness, feeling themselves to be part of the universe. No one was born a hero, they became one gradually, cultivating in themselves not only general human qualities, but also the ability to be happy, because this is what attracted people.

What could be the content of the essay?

Now the essay “What it means to be human” may sound different. Of course, one can describe him as an ideal representative of the genus Homo Sapiens, but if we take into account the teachings of Aristotle and assume that everyone has negative character traits, then this is inappropriate. So the example would be like this:

“I don't know what it means to be human. There are too many conventions in the world that people must comply with and, wanting to be accepted in society, we comply with these rules. Every day we put on the masks of respectable citizens and plunge into the abyss of gray everyday life. And in the evening, when the masks are removed, everyone plunges into themselves and tries to understand who they are and who they are. I don't think the word "man" can describe this creature.

I think being human means being yourself in any situation in life. A person does not always have to be perfect in everything; he can be sad and worried. What makes a person human is not conforming to an ideal type, but the ability to feel and understand someone else's pain. And a person should also be able to find happiness in little things. That's all.

Just like heroes, people become good people gradually. But if a person has turned into someone who can be called such a word with a capital letter, then he will definitely become someone’s hero. It can not be in any other way".

And as a result, we can say the following. A person is someone who knows how to empathize and support, is not ashamed of his true feelings and will always find a reason for a kind and sincere smile. This is exactly what heroes once were, and to be like them means to be human.

Through the lens of religion or through our own reflections, each of us has wondered what it means to be human. Dry academic language designates the word “man” as a sociocultural unit capable of thinking, creating, working, serving in the army, retiring and dying. Nothing personal, as they say. But the most inquisitive among us think about our spiritual, personal and universal destiny. What does it mean to be human? Christianity tells us that man is God’s creation, his servant, and around him there is “vanity of vanities” and “there is no meaning in life under the sun.” The Koran gives approximately the same interpretations to the word man, prescribing a strict and measured algorithm of life. The media, transnational corporations, politicians and the state insistently assure us that being human means buying unnecessary things, spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, earning penniless pensions and voting for “United Russia”. But all this is not the same.

What does the word "man" mean?

The clearest interpretation of the meaning of the name man and its purpose can be found in the books of Gurdjieff and Castaneda, in the Vedas and treatises on yoga. Having studied at least part of the listed works, you will understand that to be human means to have a purpose, a path and personal strength. To be human means to gain integrity, a worldview. To be human is to view life as a lesson, as a journey. After all, you can live as if miracles do not happen at all, or as if every moment is a miracle. If you don’t have time to read, you can watch the film “Peaceful Warrior” directed by Victor Salva. In addition, the film will answer an important question: “what does it mean to be a strong person?”

We live in a society that is a whole supersystem, so it is very important to know and meet many criteria. For example, such as intelligence, culture, and so on. It's worth taking a closer look at them.

What does it mean to be a cultured person

Culture is a kind of code of behavior in a closed society. And cultural norms may vary depending on the history of development of this society. Thus, the familiarity adopted in Russia towards even a stranger, in conservative societies of Europe will be regarded as careless attitude. So, you will show your lack of culture. That is, to be a cultured person means to conform one’s behavior to the norms of public morality of a particular society.

What does it mean to be an intelligent person

An intelligent person has always been called one whose level of education is higher than the majority of the people. Thus, in imperial and Soviet times, intelligent people formed a whole class - the intelligentsia. The intelligentsia included poets, writers, magazine editors and correspondents, as well as part of the bohemians: actors and theater directors. Academic scientists in fundamental fields of science were rarely included in it. But if you classify a nuclear physicist as an intelligent person, then there will be no mistake. The word “intelligent” itself comes from the Latin intel-lego, which means “to know, think, have an idea about something.” Based on this, we can understand that an intelligent person in everyday life is called an intelligent, deep-thinking person with a subtle sense of culture, which is reflected in his behavior in society and in interactions with other people.

There is still time - escape from the prison in which you have imprisoned yourself! It just takes a little courage, a little risk. And remember: you have nothing to lose. You can only lose your chains - you can lose boredom, you can lose that constant feeling inside you that something is missing.

You are your experience. So experience more. While you can, experience as much as you can. A real man never stops; a real person always remains a wanderer, a wanderer of spirit. Never write off becoming a learner; stay learning. Only then can life be joyful.

You have to have courage and if people say you're crazy, accept it. Tell them: "You are right; in this world only crazy people can be happy and joyful. I chose madness along with joy, with bliss, with dancing; you chose sanity along with misery, suffering and hell - our choices are different."

Reject everything that is imposed on you from the outside. Accept only your innermost core, which you brought from another world, and then you will not feel that you are missing anything. The moment you accept yourself unconditionally, suddenly there is an explosion of joy.

First of all, stop judging yourself. Instead of judging, start accepting yourself with all the imperfections, all the weaknesses, mistakes and failures. Don't ask yourself to be perfect, it means asking for something impossible, then you will be upset. You are human, after all. The moment you accept yourself as you are, without any comparison, all superiority and all humiliation disappears.

A person is fulfilled if he is in harmony with the universe. If he is not in harmony with the universe, then he is empty, completely empty. And from this emptiness comes greed.

Be humane and accept the humanity of the other with all the weaknesses that are characteristic of people. Others make mistakes just like you - and you need to learn. Being together is a great lesson in forgiveness, forgetting, understanding that the other is a person just like you. A little bit of forgiveness...

Every mistake is an opportunity to learn. Just don't repeat the same mistakes over and over again - that's stupidity. But make as many new mistakes as possible - don't be afraid, because this is the only way that nature has provided for you to learn.

Except for man, everything is programmed. A rose must be a rose, a lotus must be a lotus... Man, completely free. This is the beauty of man, his greatness. Live without fear and guilt.

Freedom is God's greatest gift. You do not bear the seal, you must create yourself, be self-creating. Everyone wants freedom, but freedom comes with responsibility.

You need to protect yourself from well-wishers who constantly advise you to be this or that. Listen to them and thank them. They don't mean anything bad - only what happens can cause harm. Listen only to your own heart. This is your only teacher.

Understand one basic thing. Do what you want to do, what you love to do, and never demand recognition. This is begging... Go deeper into yourself. Perhaps you don't love what you do. Perhaps you are afraid that you are on the wrong path.

Why depend on others? But these things, recognition and approval, depend on others, and you yourself become dependent. When you move away from this dependence, you become an individual, and being an individual, living in complete freedom and standing on your own two feet, drinking from your own source - this is what makes a person truly centered, rooted. And this is the beginning of its highest flowering.

Do everything creatively. If a person has lived his whole life, transforming every moment and every stage into beauty, love, joy, then it is natural that his death will be the highest peak of his lifelong aspirations.

The greatest human need is to be needed. If someone needs you, you feel satisfied. But if the whole existence needs you, then there is no limit to your bliss. And this existence needs even a small blade of grass just as much as it needs the biggest star. There is no problem of inequality.

No one can replace you. If you are not here, existence will be something less, and will forever remain something less, it will never be complete. And the feeling that this vast existence needs you will take away all your miseries. For the first time you will come home.

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