Mikhail Labkovsky psychologist family children situation. Mikhail Labkovsky: let a man think about what’s in a woman’s head. - What worries them most when they come?

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6. When the flight attendant shows you the life-saving equipment, what does she say about the oxygen masks? “If you are traveling with a child, provide a mask for yourself first, then the child.” That's the whole point. Everyone is trying to help the child, while remaining an absolute psycho. That's not how it works. If you want your child to feel good, do something with your head first.

7. They are designed in such a way that since the time of their mother they only approach those who give them approval with their eyes. A healthy man is like a child. He approaches when the woman smiles at him, looks into his eyes...

8. always choose themselves, and neurotics choose relationships to their detriment, and this is the most important difference.

9. A woman should never tolerate anything she doesn’t like in a relationship. She should talk about it right away, and if the man does not change, she should break up with him.

10. Men, like children, like it when a woman has character, says psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky.

11. If a person replaces the whole world for another person, this means that he simply does not have his own world.

12. is not a lack of love around. This is a lack of interest in oneself, and since childhood.

13. As for finding a partner, I’ll say, psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky smiles, but who should I look for? The only quality your partner can have is that he clings to you. Everything else doesn't play any role at all. If you love him, worry about him, worry - then there are no “bars”.

14. What do you need to do to get married? And all you have to do is just one thing - be yourself. It's enough. And they love you, in principle, only for this.

15. Do you know what the fundamental difference is between a healthy person and a neurotic? A healthy person also suffers, but from real stories. And a neurotic suffers from fictional stories. And if there is not enough suffering, he also catches up with his beloved Kafka, Dostoevsky and the bottle.

16. If you don’t like the way a man behaves, you don’t need to look for excuses for his behavior. A situation in which “he didn’t call back” means the end of a relationship for a healthy girl, and the beginning of love for an unhealthy girl.

17. As the writer Christopher Buckley (author of the novel Thank you for smoking, there is also a film like that) said, you shouldn’t eat at a restaurant called “Like Mom’s” and go to bed with a woman who has more problems than you.

18. Modesty does not decorate anyone. Due to complexes, uncertainty and low self-esteem, a girl lives without sex and relationships, not because she is scary, but because she treats herself poorly. The psychologist's task is to rid her of this.

19. Family therapy is a scam. There is only one type of family therapy that I consider truly useful - psychological mediation in divorce cases. But this is precisely what is not practiced in Russia.

20. The only time in a person’s life when he is objectively dependent and when he can be considered a hostage is childhood and dependence on his parents. It doesn't last long. In other cases, staying in any relationship is the choice of an adult.

— Remember how Gogol said: “This morning I drank coffee without taste”? If you feel that you are in a bad mood, you want to lie at home and do nothing, you don’t want to go to work, you don’t want to love, you even have lost your appetite, then you have a problem, I’m sure psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky.

“The 116th novel - and again unsuccessful?”

Elena Plotnikova, “PRO. Health”: - Mikhail, but it’s so difficult to find something that satisfies us 100%. You can do what you love for pennies or get a lot of money and be bored at work. What to do then?

Mikhail Labkovsky: - If you are already in your 116th novel, and you are getting worse and worse, then the problem is not with men, but with you. Or you’ve already changed your tenth job, but you still don’t like it: you’re not happy with the salary, the conditions, the boss, the colleagues. You have a problem!

In general, in order to find something of your dreams (not just a job, but the person of your dreams, even the shoes of your dreams) and live the way you want, do what you like, you just need to stop being afraid. As long as you are afraid, your dream is doomed to failure.

“Let’s imagine that I’m ready for something new and I’m not afraid of anything.” How then to find exactly the loved one you need?

- The first loved one you need is in your head. As long as you have a conflict with yourself in your head, all your loved ones will not be very loved. And most importantly, you don’t really need them. Therefore, you must first establish harmony with yourself - after that, the necessary people will reach out on their own.

— If I understand that it is very difficult to change something in life, but at the same time I feel extremely dissatisfied with everything that is happening, how can I force myself to start changing something?

“Maybe the well-known survey of people who were on the verge of death, which was conducted in hospices, will help. They were asked what their biggest regret was, and they all gave the same answer: not living the life they wanted. And here everyone needs to stop for a minute and think: what if there is no tomorrow? Maybe this will encourage you to change something in your life.

Books about children

— You said that the feeling of loneliness comes from childhood and most often those who are either overloaded by their parents or those who were not given due attention become lonely. Can you give advice to parents on how to properly distribute the workload, how much time children should study and how much time parents should devote to the child?

— There is no specific plan for interaction between parents and children, which everyone must adhere to and strictly implement. Therefore, I will say this: you don’t need to feed your children with cartoons, you don’t need to burden them with activities all the time so that they don’t have free time. Don't set a schedule for your children. Let them have the opportunity to plan their own time. For example, give them about 2 hours each day to keep themselves occupied. Limit your time spent on gadgets - no more than 1.5 hours on a weekday and no more than 4 hours on weekends.

— Books or lectures on education can help you build your own line of behavior with a child, or should this be laid down, as they say, by nature?

- You know, sometimes it helps. If parents go to lectures and read specialized literature, it means that they approach education intelligently and are interested in their children. Besides, how can a young nulliparous woman know the specifics of, for example, the period of breastfeeding, early childhood, etc., if not from books? All this helps you better understand your children and treat them correctly.

“I wouldn’t replace one with the other.” Yes, there is a lot of literature and lectures, but everyone in the family has their own problem, for which you need to find a topic that suits you. Therefore, both are useful.

“I’m convinced: a woman needs money!”

“It seems only women turn to you for help.” Do men have problems?

- There are, of course, quite a few. In fact, only 60% of my patients are women, the remaining 40% are men.

—What excites them most when they come?

— Men are only concerned about two things: personal problems associated with depression, neuroses, and relationship problems when relationships with the opposite sex do not work out. But women have a greater range of problems: relationships with men, children, their own instability, and so on.

— By the way, about the instability. Despite the fact that a woman has long been able to occupy leadership positions, part of society believes that her place is at the stove and she should be completely subordinate to a man. What is your opinion on this matter?

“A woman doesn’t owe anyone anything at all.” If she obeys, she will not be loved for it. Moreover, I am convinced that a woman must earn money in order to be independent from a man. If she earns money, a weak man will crawl away, since she will be too much for him, but a strong man will be pleased and will evoke a feeling of respect. Work gives a woman a certain freedom. If a woman does not earn money, the “adult - child” game starts, where the man plays the role of a parent who also gives money. A woman runs to him with torn boots and says: “I need new ones!” And he answered: “No, no, now we’ll take it to the workshop and you’ll wear it for another season.” The man knows that she has nowhere to go, he is the master of the situation. Such men are not confident in themselves and thereby try to control the woman, forcing her not to work. In the end, it all ends with reproaches that he feeds her and benefits her.

Find a husband? Difficult, but possible

- You know, they say differently: if a woman is strong and earns money herself, it will be very difficult for her to find a husband.

- Yes, it will be difficult for a successful woman to find a husband to match herself. I often hear about such problems. Because wealthy women do not need men who are completely unsuccessful and earn less than them. After all, they won’t even be able to relax together, not to mention the rest.

- Then another p-problem arises: the businesswoman found a man, gave birth to a child, but the desire for a career remains, she is not going to become a housewife. What to do?

- Don’t kill yourself either at home or at work, but just live, earn money and take care of your children at the same time - all without fanaticism.

— Often women, because they are afraid to be left alone, suffer troubles from their husbands, without showing emotions, without expressing their desires. What could this lead to?

- To two options: either she will be exchanged for a more successful woman with self-respect, or they, completely unhappy, will limp into old age. And the most interesting thing is that by old age a woman gets so used to this format of relationships that she will consider them normal.

“Very often, women cannot leave relationships that do not bring them joy, and instead they come up with a bunch of excuses. What's stopping them?

“In fact, it’s fear and the need for suffering that get in the way.” And excuses are attempts to convince yourself why she doesn’t leave (no money, no job, no apartment, there are children, etc.). In fact, she just likes this kind of relationship, she’s used to it and doesn’t know anyone else. The only way to figure out what’s going on in your head is to go to a psychologist. In principle, I am convinced: if a person has an internal conflict and he cannot solve it on his own, he should definitely contact a psychologist.

Biography facts

Mikhail Labkovsky was born on June 17, 1961 in Moscow.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University named after M.V. Lomonosov, specializing in “general, family and developmental psychology.”
He also has a legal education - a specialist in family law.
For some time he lived, studied and worked in Israel, where he additionally received a second degree in psychology.
In Israel, he held the position of full-time psychologist in the service for working with adolescents in juvenile colonies at the Jerusalem City Hall.
Since 2004, he has hosted the weekly interactive program “Adults about Adults” on the Ekho Moskvy radio station.
Today he hosts a program with the same name on the “Silver Rain” radio station, speaks in “Rules of Life” on the “Culture” channel, and gives public lectures.

Mikhail Labkovsky can be called a brilliant family psychologist who managed to change the idea of both psychologists and their lectures. Now he is not only a practicing psychologist, but also a lawyer, radio and television presenter. Labkovsky has 30 years of practical experience, including considerable experience in foreign psychological practice. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the information on the topic "Mikhail Labkovsky. Biography, professional activities, his rules and advice."

Career stages

Born on June 17, 1961, Mikhail Labkovsky. His biography, naturally, primarily tells about education. Mikhail studied at Moscow State University. Lomonosov, graduated from the Faculty of Psychology with a specialization in General, Age and In addition, Labkovsky also received a legal education and specialized in family law.

At one time, M. Labkovsky had a hard time becoming who he is at the moment. He began his career working at school, first as a simple teacher, then as a school psychologist. Despite his very effective advice regarding family and children, very, very little is known about the psychotherapist himself. Who is he, Mikhail Labkovsky? Family, children, biography - all this may be of interest to potential clients. The description of a psychologist’s life path includes only data about studies and work. From various sources and his personal interviews it is known that he loves animals. He has a cat at home, which he sometimes talks about too. As for personal information, this is not such an important point that you should talk about and spend time on. This is all Mikhail Labkovsky. His biography briefly tells about the important things.

Professional development of M.A. Labkovsky

Returning to Labkovsky, the psychologist opens his own consultation on family issues. This is where he holds individual and group meetings. His consulting service deals with many family issues: prenuptial agreements, divorce problems, and problems related to children. Mikhail Labkovsky is also the author of many publications.

Radio work and online activity

Another stage in the life of a famous psychotherapist is very interesting and creative. Mikhail Labkovsky is a psychologist who has acted as a presenter on various FM radio stations for eight years. In 2004, Labkovsky launched his interactive weekly program called “Adults about Adults,” which airs on Ekho Moskvy. She appeared on the air every Saturday, and for a whole hour Labkovsky answered questions from radio listeners that related to family problems and human relationships. Another program hosted by a psychologist on this radio station was “Mikhail Labkovsky’s Night Program.” It appeared late on Sundays and discussed sensitive issues: “Everything you wanted to know about sex and weren’t afraid to ask.” Mikhail conducted these night broadcasts with his permanent co-host, sound engineer and editor, Natalya Kuzmina. Together they created a unique confidential conversation. Both programs were very popular, but this did not stop them from being broadcast, which was greatly regretted by both the author and his listeners. In 2013, the program “For Adults about Adults” began broadcasting on online TV on “Setivizor” in the fall. And in 2016, Labkovsky began working at the Silver Rain radio station, where he currently works. In addition, the famous psychologist gives many public lectures and appears on the “Rules of Life” program on the “Culture” TV channel. In addition, you can contact the popular psychotherapist Labkovsky on various social networks, which he also actively uses in his work.

Mikhail Labkovsky. Books, publications, lectures and consultations

This famous family psychologist does not tell theory, he gives effective practical advice. Therefore, his lectures and publications are somewhat unique. He completely changed the idea of a lecture as such. Mikhail Labkovsky is a psychologist who does not talk about a given topic: he clearly answers the questions posed, often asks in such a way that a person sees a solution to his problem. Mikhail Labkovsky has prepared many interesting publications; his lectures and consultations are popular, many of which have been published in the form of audio books. These are interesting dialogues that people listen to in one breath, taking from them a lot of necessary information and effective advice. There are some among them who are considered the best. Mikhail Labkovsky published books:

"About and Shame";
"About getting married";
"About children."

The famous psychologist is also the author of six rules, which he voices at almost every lecture. Labkovsky claims that people with high self-esteem, who love and accept themselves as they are, will consciously or unconsciously adhere to these rules.

1. Do only what you like.

2. Don’t do what you don’t want.

3. Talk right away about what you don’t like.

4. Don't answer when you're not asked.

5. Answer only the question asked.

6. When sorting out relationships, talk exclusively about yourself.

Labkovsky is a professional psychologist, and, in his opinion, you need to start solving any problem with yourself. And all the reasons must also be sought only in oneself. And change will only begin with your own actions. And nothing else.

In the article we will talk about Mikhail Labkovsky. We will discuss the biography of this person in detail, because it really deserves attention. Mikhail is an outstanding psychologist who teaches how to live in harmony with yourself and with others. We will also learn about his advice and recommendations that will allow us to properly communicate with people around us.

Biography of Mikhail Labkovsky

Let's start with the fact that the hero of our article was born in Moscow. This happened in mid-June 1961. His parents were Jews and were part of the Diaspora. In the future, this sometimes interfered with Mikhail’s life.

He said that as a child he experienced a lack of attention from adults and was hyperactive. Because of this, for some time I was a completely uncontrollable teenager and completely refused to study. Naturally, this upset the parents and brought them new problems.

At the moment, Mikhail recalls that he himself was not happy with his character. The fact that he was too active and did not know how to concentrate prevented him from achieving his goals. It was the presence of serious psychological problems in himself that prompted him to study psychology. In other words, he wanted to figure it out first of all for himself, but then he liked this direction and decided to connect his life with it.

It should be noted that before entering a higher educational institution, Mikhail Labkovsky tried a lot of different activities. His biography can tell us that he got his first job at the zoo at the age of 14. Although he initially wanted to get a job at the plant, he was not accepted there. That's why he chose the zoo. There he cared for animals for quite a long time.

Already during his student years, he earned his own money in kindergarten. He was also a janitor. It is interesting that it was while working in kindergarten that he began to observe the relationship between parents and children, which later gave rise to his interest in this topic. After completing his studies, Mikhail received a specialty in general, family and developmental psychology. He also practiced family law, but this was not a lasting hobby.

Career

Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky began building a career in the field of psychology by getting a job at a school. He was a simple teacher, but over time he transferred to the position of psychologist. He himself recalled that when applying for a job, he again had to face the problems of his origin. They didn’t want to accept him into the team, so for some time he had to simply go to different educational institutions and propose his candidacy. As a result, he was accepted into a Moscow gymnasium, which was also headed by a Jew.

New stage

At the age of 28, psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky travels to Israel with his family. There he continues to practice and consult people on psychology. He also fulfills the main purpose of the trip, which was to improve his professional skills.

In Jerusalem, Labkovsky works as a consultant and helps solve problems for married couples who are at the stage of divorce. This is a very interesting profession that does not exist in Russia. It is unusual in that, in addition to psychological assistance to people who are getting divorced, it also involves assistance with legal aspects regarding the division of acquired property and issues related to children. After that, he worked as a psychological consultant with difficult teenagers. The biography of Mikhail Labkovsky continues with the fact that he returns to Moscow.

Capital

So, in the capital, he continues to study family psychology, various subtleties of raising children and problems of personal growth. He sees his main goal as conveying ideas to ordinary people, telling them about psychology using accessible methods. Even then, quotes from Mikhail Labkovsky were very valuable, although they were still quite rare.

It was women who responded most actively to his lectures and works. The psychologist conducted various seminars where he really helped people, solved their problems, and gave a lot of advice. His methodology was very different from similar seminars and trainings, because he did not read theory, but shared really important practical skills. This allowed him to accumulate a lot of experience and subsequently draw up the rules of life for Mikhail Labkovsky, which we will talk about later. Meetings with a psychologist became more and more popular, and the number of listeners increased. As a result, the psychologist decided to somehow summarize his fruitful work and create his own system.

At the same time, he hosted the program “For adults about adults with Mikhail Labkovsky.” People could call the studio in real time and ask their questions to a psychologist. The program immediately won a high rating because the psychologist perfectly substantiated and argued all his advice and recommendations, and in addition, provided them with specific examples from practice. As we know, it was truly enough.

Extensive life experience and knowledge gained from communicating with a huge number of people allowed the psychologist to formulate his own vision of the right relationships. As a result, the world saw “Labkovsky’s 6 rules.”

Let's list them:

It is necessary to do only what you really want.
If you have no desire to do something, then you should not force yourself.
If you don't like something, you need to talk about it right away.
If you are not asked, then you should not speak.
You only need to answer the question.
When sorting out relationships, the emphasis must be on yourself.

These rules are the basis of Labkovsky's method. It is on them that his system is based, which allows people to build relationships and resolve conflict situations.

New stage

A new round of career begins with Mikhail ceasing to be an ordinary practicing psychologist. In 2004, he was invited to the program “Adults about Adults with Mikhail Labkovsky,” which we mentioned above. This project was very popular and was broadcast on 2 channels. Also, the psychologist’s speeches began to appear on other television channels. He was a welcome guest on various programs because his opinion was truly respected.

He is very popular for the simple reason that he gives clear and simple recommendations, does not confuse a person, but offers him a clear algorithm of actions.

Today, Mikhail Labkovsky receives a lot of different invitations to interviews and performances. The biography of this man surprises us every year. He is active on social networks and communicates with his subscribers. He also acts as an expert and consultant at various events and shows.

Mikhail Labkovsky: personal life

Let's start with the fact that a man prefers to hide his personal life. As we said above, he actively uses social networks, but only for work. It is known that Mikhail had a wife, but the relationship ended in divorce. At the same time, the former spouses maintained friendly relations and communicate to this day.

In one of his interviews, Labkovsky said that his ex-wife even consulted with him about choosing a new partner. From this marriage, the couple had a daughter, Daria.

Family

It is interesting that Mikhail himself does not consider himself an exemplary father, although he loves his daughter very much. He admitted that for a long time he was too demanding and strict towards her. When she turned 18, he gave her a rather difficult choice between work and study. However, the girl had character and, against her father’s will, went to serve in the Israeli troops. As a result of this, relations only improved, they became more open and friendly. Today Daria is married. She is a professional journalist, but also develops her father's brand and helps him create a clothing line.

Mikhail Labkovsky's family is his daughter and work. He is not currently in a relationship, but may be in love. Since the man does not talk about his personal life, we can only make guesses.

What about today?

Today the man is the author of the book “I Want and I Will.” Mikhail Labkovsky wrote an excellent, succinct book about how to interact with the outside world. He addressed issues of family, relationships with children and personal development. The book is written in a very simple and understandable language, making it accessible and interesting to everyone.

She became very popular and brought Mikhail even more fame. “I Want and I Will” by Mikhail Labkovsky is a reference book for everyone who wants to understand themselves and learn to communicate with other people. Once you master the 6 basic rules of communication, you will notice that making contacts has become much easier, and you will also understand the issue of personal boundaries.

Books by Mikhail Labkovsky

The psychologist has several books that are not particularly popular, but are nevertheless in demand. Among them, it is worth noting the following: “About addiction”, “About self-love”, “About marriage”, “About feelings of shame and guilt”, “Fear is a brake on development”.

There are also lectures and consultations about children, money, work, and 6 separate lectures on psychology, released in audiobook format.

We recommend reading books by Mikhail Labkovsky, because they really deserve your attention. You will be able to significantly improve your psychological skills, as well as understand the problems of interpersonal relationships. The psychologist explains very simply and clearly how to get out of a particular situation. It will be easy to master the material for the reason that you can learn about similar situations from Labkovsky’s practice.

We should also talk about the importance of Labkovsky’s psychological system for women. We can say that he is making a revolution in the minds of the fair sex. The psychologist insists that a woman does not need to bend under a man. The more she bends, the less respect she commands from her partner. As a result, this greatly worsens the situation, while the woman does not understand what she is doing wrong and why nothing is working out. The psychologist believes that a woman must first of all be an individual, with clear boundaries and principles. Only then will she be interesting to her man, and he will respect him. If you constantly avoid conflicts and adapt, then, sooner or later, this will lead to serious problems or even separation.

As we said above, quotes from Mikhail Labkovsky are worth their weight in gold, so we will repeat here one of his main thoughts: “Only a person with a stable psyche can live his whole life with one partner.”

Adoption

The psychologist also talks about what to do in case of any problems. He believes that it is necessary to either change the situation or accept it. A person who does neither one nor the other is simply suffering and, by definition, is neurotic. He himself cannot be happy, and he cannot make anyone so. That is why, in order to achieve harmony in relationships and the inner world, you first need to turn to yourself and pay attention to your condition.

Neurotic conditions

Having studied the biography of Mikhail Labkovsky, let's talk a little about an important idea. Thus, Mikhail claims that all neurotic reactions are formed in a person before the age of 8. If before this age there were any negative repeated reactions, then a certain way of reacting is fixed in a person. In adulthood, fear continues to live with him.

So, if parents constantly argued, then a person will be afraid to openly talk about his feelings in his relationship and show dissatisfaction. He will also be afraid of loud sounds, condemnation and the conflict itself. He will be neurotic with constant internal conflict. In this case, it is necessary to either solve the situation or accept it.

An adequate person cannot accept a situation in which his opinion is not taken into account. But as soon as he gets rid of internal tension and ceases to be neurotic, he changes his behavior. As a result of this, the behavior of the people around him changes, even without much effort from the outside. This is the essence of psychological transformation.

Mikhail Labkovsky is a famous practicing psychologist, lawyer, television and radio host.

Mikhail Alexandrovich was born on June 17, 1961 in Moscow. Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University named after M.V. Lomonosov, specializing in general, family and developmental psychology. She also has a legal education and is a specialist in family law.

He worked as a teacher and school psychologist, lived, studied and worked for some time in Israel, where he received a second degree in psychology. In Jerusalem, he acted as a mediator between spouses divorcing and dividing children and property - a practice of Family Mediation Service negotiations. He held the position of full-time psychologist in the service for working with adolescents in juvenile colonies at the Jerusalem City Hall.

For eight years he worked as a presenter at various radio stations (Nostalgie, “On Seven Hills”). Since 2004, he has hosted the Night program and the weekly interactive program “For adults about adults” on Ekho Moskvy. Currently, on Saturdays he hosts a program of the same name on “Silver Rain”, speaks in “Rules of Life” on the “Culture” channel, and gives public lectures. He actively uses social networks; you can contact him on Facebook, Twitter and others. Author of numerous publications.

Currently he has his own family consultation, which deals with problems of divorce, marriage contracts, issues related to children and settlement agreements.issues related to children and settlement agreements.

Quotes

I am absolutely sure that you need to live in such a way that it is pleasant; and to make it pleasant, you need to do only what you want, and what you don’t want, don’t do it! And I live like this myself.

A healthy person either accepts the situation or changes it. Neurotic - does not accept and does not change.

If parents love the child, themselves and each other, then such a person, when he grows up, will love only those who love him.

A healthy person will always choose himself and his happiness, a neurotic person will always choose his emotions (he is adrenaline dependent).

If you have the best sex after a scandal, then this will not last long - soon only scandals will remain.

Books

Feelings of guilt and shame;

Married;

Children;

Work and money;

Self-love;

Addiction.

All of the above topics are covered in separate printed and audio books. Also, under his authorship, an audiobook “6 lectures on psychology” was published: it contains the psychologist’s reflections on the most relevant topics, which were the subject of his speeches in the “Direct Speech” lecture. Recordings of his conversations allow you to plunge into a live dialogue and understand the lecturer’s idea, including through the emotions and intonations he expresses.

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