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Our reader shared her story of fighting cancer, which has been going on for five years. She did not lose heart and found the strength to resist bad and, importantly, erroneous forecasts from doctors.

I am 41, I have a husband and a son, we lead an active life and always strive to communicate and travel. That autumn we were engaged in the construction of our house: we bought materials, hired builders. I had to do a lot on my own, from which I was constantly tired.

I had symptoms of an intestinal infection, but I wrote it off as a common story for the inhabitants of the south - poisoning is not uncommon in September with an abundance of fresh fruit. But the sick people around ended, and it became very difficult for me. A high temperature rose, weakness appeared, and a few more days later my husband and I went to a paid clinic.

I had an ultrasound - it immediately showed a large tumor on the ovary, and even then the specialist said that it was almost certainly cancer.

The diagnosis was clarified already in the oncological dispensary in the next three days - an urgent operation was required. I developed ascites, called dropsy, a situation in which excess fluid accumulates in the abdomen. Now I think that awareness was slow - my physical condition was very bad, and there was simply no time or energy left for any kind of reflection. Husband and son were there all the time, and probably prayed to all the gods that everything went well.

The operation was prescribed immediately - they removed both ovaries and the uterus, and also part of the intestine, since there were metastases.

Surprisingly, the analysis for histology for making an accurate diagnosis and establishing the stage is done painfully for a long time, and even in another city. Based on this analysis, I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. As they explained to me, the disease is fairly advanced, but this is not uncommon, in 70-80% of women with ovarian cancer, the diagnosis is established at the 3rd stage. Doctors call this type of cancer the "silent killer", since it does not manifest itself in any way until the onset of the 3rd stage, and women ignore or ignore those implicit symptoms that occur earlier.

I got a consultation with a specialist who warned me against unconditional faith that medical care under the MHI policy would be free and effective. Unfortunately, very often, cancer patients are prescribed not the chemotherapy drugs that they really need, and those that the hospital has in stock may underestimate doses, may interrupt courses, not wanting to take on extra responsibility. He made it clear to me that my life is in my hands, I myself must control the entire process of treatment. On the one hand, he shocked me and pretty frightened me, and on the other hand, he explained that many people live with such a diagnosis, are treated constantly and live, raise children, work and travel. So, despite all my violent emotional reactions, I did not fall into depression, I decided not to give up, but to act and fight for myself, for my family, for the opportunity to see what my 10-year-old son will grow up to be.

The removal of the uterus and ovaries affected the hormonal background - I started menopause. I can't say that this was the most terrible thing in my situation, chemotherapy overshadowed the rest of the symptoms.

Then the body adapted, and now I can say that I don’t feel anything special in connection with this operation: my weight has not increased, outwardly I still look younger than my age. It seemed unthinkable that all the female organs would be removed, because my husband and I really wanted another child, but death from cancer was completely illusory, and there was simply no other way to survive.

In social networks, I posted my photos, a medical report and a request for help. Friends and relatives, classmates and just acquaintances responded and quite quickly we managed to raise enough money to travel to Israel.

Before the new year, I flew to Jerusalem. It was my first trip abroad. I didn't think I would travel like this. I had to go without my husband, he was not even allowed to get a passport under an accelerated procedure.

There should be no more than three weeks between surgery and chemotherapy, and I had to wait more than a month. I wanted to be sure of the correctness of the prescribed treatment. In a large, well-equipped clinic, I was given a complete examination in just 3 days and was prescribed drugs.

On New Year's Eve in Russia they drink champagne, eat Russian salad and start firecrackers. And in Israel, December 31 is a common date, unremarkable, so on that day I was under a drip, and poison was slowly poured into me, which destroys cancer cells, and simultaneously kills my other completely healthy cells.

The chemo felt terrible, but knowing that I was already treating everything and would soon be healthy, I coped with it. I returned from Israel in a kind of foggy-nauseous state, I don’t even know how I even managed to get home, taking into account all the transfers by transport.

The first line of chemotherapy usually involves 6 courses: 1 drop every three weeks. Doctors then evaluate the effect and decide what to do next. I personally encountered the fact that after 6 courses they tried to send me to “rest and recover”, although the desired result was not achieved, and this was confirmed by the results of analyzes and computed tomography.

I insisted that I would continue chemotherapy until the result was achieved. Although my body “missed” cancer cells, it is otherwise quite strong, tolerates chemotherapy quite well and then recovers quite quickly. As a result, I completed 11 courses in the first line of chemotherapy, which led to 11 months of remission.

I work full time, and the management of the enterprise met me halfway, they let me go for three days during the treatment, so that I could recover a little.

After the third drop, I went from an attractive brown-haired woman to bald as a knee.

Here, the truth, my hidden virtues for the time being were revealed - it turned out that I have an ideal skull shape and a beautiful profile. Sometimes my exotic appearance at work created funny situations - scandalous clients were sent to me who demanded their money back, and they instantly calmed down and became decent people.

Each visit to the hospital cost me many, many hours in line. I talked with other patients and repeatedly encountered a situation where people, less cautious, more trusting, agreed with the doctors and went to rest and recover, as they were strongly advised. Then they quickly died, as the chemotherapy was finished clearly earlier than required.
I constantly monitored my condition, as if turning on the “internal scanner”. If earlier I could simply ignore some symptoms and work, no matter what, now I have become very attentive to my body. This is what allows me not to relax and control all the processes taking place inside.

Since then, several more years and several courses of chemotherapy have passed. I no longer went to Israel, as it is quite expensive, and my husband and I already have to buy part of the drugs for treatment exclusively with our own money. I went several times for a consultation to Moscow, to a leading oncology center. In the fifth year of my illness, the doctor unexpectedly prescribed me an analysis for genetic mutations in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, popularly the genes of Angelina Jolie. I have one of these mutations. This means that my disease is genetically determined, and if this was known right away, then perhaps a different treatment tactic should have been chosen, and also that the risk of the disease is inherited by all my close blood relatives, including my son. At least now it is known in advance.

A person gets used to everything, I got used to my disease. I've become quite adept at adjusting all my plans for chemotherapy courses. My family and I went on a wonderful trip to Istanbul and every year we try to go to the Black Sea, at least for a short time. I'm used to restrictions - I can't be in the sun, I can't eat certain foods, I need to constantly take tests and do tomography. My body has gotten used to chemotherapy, and now almost no drugs cause baldness, so I regularly go to the hairdresser, change hairstyles and hair color. I still work full-time, even though I was given a non-working disability. However, disability payments do not allow not only to be treated, but simply to live, and I still have many grandiose plans ahead.

It is still difficult for me to overcome some moments when communicating with the medical staff. Among them there are both wonderful, benevolent people who are professionals in their field, and notorious bastards who are trying to inspire such forecasts that they cannot be called anything other than a curse. One of the doctors, who held a non-ordinary position in an oncology clinic, told me that my bone marrow had been killed.

You will never have a normal platelet count, and you will never have chemo again!

Sometimes I want to meet her on the street and stick the test results on her forehead, where the blood counts are absolutely normal.

I believe in myself and hope for modern science to create a drug that will cure cancer patients. And I'm going to wait for this moment, because I've been waiting for 5 years. I still want to see what my son will grow up to be. Now he is 15, and our family has remained just as strong.

When the Nobel Prize in Chemistry was awarded last year for the creation of molecular machines, many thought that these were some kind of toys for the mind. And they will remain so for a long time to come. Although even then it was noted that such a technique can be used for targeted delivery of drugs into the body. But still it will be exotic for many years: too complicated and expensive.

And just now, an international team of researchers has developed a new type of molecular machine that can become a universal tool in the fight against any type of cancer. Such "omnivorousness" is inherent in the specifics of this technique. The fact is that almost all known types of treatment are quite selective, they work effectively against certain types of tumors, but may be less effective against others.

The molecular machine is devoid of these shortcomings. It is capable of destroying cancer cells by drilling through holes in their membranes. The instrument is a molecule a few nanometers in size. They rotate under the influence of ultraviolet light at a speed of 2-3 million revolutions per second. Machines are introduced into the patient's body by any of the available methods. Moreover, molecules, due to their special chemical properties, themselves detect cancer cells and are fixed on their surface. And ultraviolet light supplied from the outside activates the "drill" of the molecular machine, it bites into the tumor, makes a through hole in the cell membrane, thereby killing the cell. Experiments have shown that, for example, prostate cancer cells were destroyed in just three minutes.

Molecular machines can become a universal tool in the fight against any type of cancer

Compared to other existing methods of fighting cancer, this one works much faster and does not have the negative side effects that chemotherapy and radiotherapy methods are so rich in. Molecules of nanomachines need only be tuned to fight only cells of a certain type, for example, breast cancer or melanoma. In addition to ultraviolet light, in the future, radio frequency radiation or other "triggers" may be used to activate molecular machines.

Recently, doctors are increasingly registering cases of the appearance of cancers that are resistant to drugs used in chemotherapy. Fortunately, the cells of even such formations are defenseless against molecular nanomachines, which makes them an ideal means of combating any type of cancer. It is likely that the use of molecular nanomachines is not without some drawbacks, which will be revealed later. But at the moment, all known problems caused by nanomachines are temporary.

In the near future, researchers are going to test the capabilities of such "nanodrills" on laboratory rodents. Scientists need to make sure that such motors can be directed exactly to the address and that they will not take liberties and start drilling into something that is not needed.

Help "RG"

The first molecular machines began to be created almost 30 years ago, and in 1999 the first molecular motor in history appeared. This large molecule moved under the influence of a beam of light. Then, on the basis of such a motor, a four-wheeled "nanocar" was built. Moreover, he could take away a load, which is 10 thousand times greater than the mass of the molecule itself.

Cancer is a disease that kills not thousands, but even millions of people every year. I never thought in my life that this could happen to me. Until that moment, life went on as usual and did not create any problems. Life was so beautiful until the disease began to completely consume me. I heard a lot from my friends, read in newspapers, on the Internet about this frightening diagnosis. But when I faced this disease myself, I did not know what to do. Left alone with the disease, you give up. I was in constant tension.

You feel like you're under some kind of pressure. It seems that nothing depends on you. There was a high temperature, which I did not pay attention to. I was scared at the initial stage of the disease, this:

• metastases
• drastic weight loss
• dislike for something
• prolonged discomfort in the lower abdomen,
• fatigue,
• dizziness,
• swelling on the face.

I am currently unable to regain my weight. You manifest such qualities as: insomnia, irritability, as well as quarrels with relatives. There is also a strong loss of appetite and an aversion to food, a terrible yellowness and dryness of the skin appeared. The pains that bothered me prevented me from living. You are in a state between life and death.

Since I am in the process of treatment, it seems to me that the path to recovery will take a very long time. Due to illness, I had to leave work and take up treatment, as the illness prevented me from working. The path to complete recovery is very long, but we must strive for this with all our might. I did not know who to turn to for help, and decided to look for a way out of this difficult situation myself.

Phytotherapy

I can honestly say that the Internet has helped me a lot. She was looking for methods of healing and began to engage in herbal medicine. Since ancient times, people have turned to traditional medicine for help. This method of treatment takes a very long time, but it is effective.

On the Internet, I found enough information about the treatment of cancer, and began to select the most important for myself. After reading in one of the articles, I learned that if a person has an operation, there can be no guarantee for his recovery. That is, the operation can not always save a person's life. Therefore, how long a person can live after the operation is unknown. Cancer is a disease that can spread throughout the body and is very difficult to get rid of.

For six months now I have been fighting for my life. And for some reason, I thought and hoped that this was a minor ailment and everything would pass. But the disease progressed. What doctors could offer me was chemotherapy or radiation therapy, but I refused. And I think that I did the right thing, because I know the consequences of this method of treatment. Oddly enough, no one offered me the operation, seeing my difficult psychological state and, of course, the lack of material resources. You can borrow money, but it is completely impossible to get rid of the disease with the help of surgery. Maybe even for the better and I had to fight myself. Only the closest people help me survive and support me.

Life seems empty and indifferent. Although life goes on, the nature that surrounds us gives us a wonderful mood. The only thing that can save us is faith in ourselves. Once upon a time I loved to read fairy tales of different authors as a child, and these little stories inspired me and cheered me up. After all, it's never too late to dream, and of course you want your dream to come true. Only positive thoughts give birth in a person to the fact that he can overcome all obstacles and defeat an incurable disease. When the immune system is severely weakened, it means that there is a chance of getting cancer. It is necessary to strengthen the immune system in order to protect yourself from infection, fungi and pathogenic bacteria.

How to prevent disease

What can be the most important thing in our lives, of course, our health. In order to be healthy, it is necessary to undergo a medical examination at least once a year, to take tests so that you can prevent the disease. It is not necessary to neglect a visit to the doctor, but in a timely manner seek help from a specialist oncologist. This disease does not spare either adults or children. What is necessary in order to lead a healthy lifestyle is to lead an active lifestyle, if necessary, go in for sports, give up bad habits.

The main bad habits that prevent us from living a normal life are:

• smoking
• alcohol
• obesity

Diet

A very strict diet is needed, which must contain: minerals, amino acids and vitamins that are contained in natural products. Add natural foods to your daily diet. This may include:

• vegetables
• fruits
• nuts
• greenery

In principle, adhere to a vegetarian diet, as well as a raw food diet. Refuse food that undergoes heat treatment, as there are no natural components left in it. It is very difficult to do this to give up many products, but your health is more expensive. Therefore, it is worth taking such measures in order to survive. Nature gave us natural products, so they need to be eaten. Of course, do exercises every day so that there is no constant chronic fatigue. Fatigue takes a lot of strength and energy from us.

Cleansing the body

How to cleanse the body? From my point of view, it is necessary to carry out a complete cleansing of the body, that is, to make cleansing enemas in order to cleanse your intestines. Approximately 10 procedures. If you do not cleanse your intestines, it is pointless to fight the disease. I convinced myself. If the intestines are slagged, then the body will not fully function. It will be much more difficult to clean it up. Unprocessed food remains accumulate in the body, which must leave it in the process of decay. A person's muscles stop working if he leads a sedentary lifestyle.

Starvation

If this does not happen, intestinal inflammation occurs and tumors develop. From which at the last stage of the development of the disease it will be difficult to get rid of. Also, fasting can be a therapeutic effect. But you need to be prepared for this, as this is also a difficult stage for the body. Fasting can be done once a week so as not to completely deplete our body. The most important thing is that it is necessary to complete the treatment.

Time does not stand still. It goes forward and does not look back. And people do not think about the fact that they need to stop and think about their health. For some reason, it seems that it will hurt a little and pass, but it is not. The most valuable thing a person has is his health. A healthy body is given to us from birth. So why do people treat their health with disdain. If we treat ourselves with love and love our physical body, then I think that we will have much less diseases.

Health is the main element in our life. Because of the constant race, haste, somewhere or for something. We do not notice the main thing, that we are wasting our energy in vain. And why take energy if a person has already lost it. You need to love yourself and the world around you.

Illness is not a sentence, but a consequence that must be eliminated.

Let's fight for our lives. Do not despair, we must move forward.

Cancer is a disease to be fought

If you have been diagnosed correctly and you have started treatment, then I recommend doing the following, regardless of the method of treatment:

Get a notebook or diary. Write down each day of your fight against disease. Describe in detail what medicine you took (in what doses and time) to fight cancer, what you drank, ate and how you feel throughout the day and so every day. After some time you will see the big picture of your treatment. If there are no positive results within 2-3 months, then this treatment method is not effective for you and it needs to be radically changed or combined with another treatment or medicine to improve the result.

Example: One is effectively helped by an infusion of aconite, another is an infusion of potato flowers, a third is an infusion of walnuts, a fourth is a hemlock, and so on. We must not give up and try different options and techniques. YOU have to choose the most effective method of treatment yourself, you just need to listen competently and choose it for treatment individual.

The best results are obtained by treatment from two or three flanks of the fight against cancer, for example:

WITH on one side we hit the cancer cells with a tincture of walnut oraconiteor potato, and on the other hand, we finish off cancer cells with apricot pits with vitamin B17, on the third side, we strike cancer cells with propolis, while strengthening the immune system, we restore normal functioning of the body. Do not forget about proper nutrition as filled with plant products.

What can not be done in case of illness and treatment:

1. You can not sunbathe in the sun, take hot baths, refuse saunas and baths altogether, avoid everything that is connected with overheating of the body.

2. Refuse from strong physical exertion, in no case injure the cancerous area, do not overload yourself with work, rest as much as possible. You can listen to pleasant music for you, it also helps in healing.

3. Do not oppress yourself with bad thoughts and representations O

gloomy future, don't even think about death, forget about it.

4.According to In the opinion of many, cancer does not like light; this leads to aggression and progression.

All The above factors may lead to progression cancer.

Proper nutrition is very important.

IN first of all clean filtered water .

take away from food sugar and sweets, even if you really want it. Eliminate smoked meats, canned food, everything fried from the diet. Eat vegetable proteins. Include rice, buckwheat and oatmeal porridges in your diet, fill them with olive oil. Soups from cereals and vegetables, soups from beans and mushrooms are very good for the body. Mushrooms of natural cultivation are desirable, they contain a large percentage of selenium. Use only black bread. Drink green teas with raisins instead of sugar 3-4 times a day (Example: elderberry tea). Maximize your diet with plant-based foods to fight disease.

It is very useful to drink natural juices from cabbage vegetables, beets (red beet), carrots, about 0.5 liters throughout the day. Maximize your daily diet with: onions, garlic, cabbage, carrots, parsley.

Example: Juice from freshly squeezed cabbage should be drunk 1 glass half an hour before meals and 3 times a day. In addition to cancer, you have a guarantee to get rid of stomach ulcers, completely cleanse the entire intestine from accumulated deposits of feces, which every second poison your body with toxins. This process is accompanied by a large release of gases, you will need to take this factor into account when taking.

WITH alcohol and nicotine must also be fought, it only brings harm to an already not healthy body. Remember, the fight is for life.

Do not lose heart and do not lose hope, you will succeed, you will defeat the disease, psychologically set yourself up for recovery and victory, this will help you and your body fight the disease even more.

Prayer helps a lot. Read prayers and set yourself up only positively for recovery:

"My heavenly angel, please keep me!
In the desert of life, without blaming outsiders,
I burn with a candle, I melt from a fierce illness,
And where the soul can find salvation - I do not know.
The abyss opens black arms to me,
I fight desperately, but I don't have enough strength.
Light Savior, lend your wing!
Let me lean on, if so unlucky
Let me find strength! Hope for you
Please save and keep me!"

Fight for life.

Fight for your life, no matter what it costs you.

Life is a struggle and you have to fight for it.

Fight to the bitter end, even if the disease looks you straight in the eye.

You are stronger in spirit and hope than your enemy in the form of a disease, you will definitely overcome it.

Do not join hands, the struggle for life is always a duel.

You will overcome all difficulties and defeat the disease.

Learn to believe in victory every minute and you will succeed.

This strength helps you fight disease even more.

Take care of your health, family and friends.

At the end of March last year, my lymph nodes were inflamed, which were palpable under my arm. Big ones like that. They lasted a long time, but I didn’t panic, just some kind of inflammation. As later the doctors said, it turned out that the disease was born much earlier.

Gradually, I began to feel that I was getting tired much faster, running out of breath, waking up in a cold sweat. I thought it was just overwork. And in May I already went to the operation - I needed to operate on my arm. I broke it a long time ago, they inserted a prosthesis there. But then some problems began, the arm did not unbend.

On the eve of the operation in the evening, I suddenly feel pain on my neck - I touch it, and there are very large knots. This is where I started to panic a little. After the operation, it took me a long time to come to my senses and work out my hand - another weeks or months passed, I don’t know for sure. And then once - and one evening in another place there is another bump. Then I got scared and I’m already surfing the Internet, reading all kinds of horror stories. I was about to lie down to die already, that's all. She signed up in the hospital for an ultrasound of all the lymph nodes.

It turned out that there are a lot of very inflamed lymph nodes inside me. And the uzistka puts me on suspicion of cancer, sending me to a hematologist. She sent urgently to the surgeon to operate. They cut out several lymph nodes under my armpit. They practically did everything for profit, they only injected [painkillers] a bit. I felt all the dull pain, all the cauterization, smells. I screamed so much that the surgeon turned on Vivaldi on his phone. The tile, a huge room, echoes Vivaldi, and I yell wildly and heart-rendingly with a good obscenity. Then the surgeon solemnly sewed me up, lifts me up by the hand and says: “Well, that's all. Most likely cancer. Heal and don't die, everything will be fine." Like most people, I heard the word "death" and not the word "cancer."

“Well, now we need to wait a few days for the analysis and we will definitely make a diagnosis. For now, go home, ”the doctor said, solemnly handed over the lymph nodes in a box and asked to be taken to some office. For ten days I sat at home and went crazy, preparing to die, thinking about cremation. When the doctor told me all this, I just didn’t understand, I screamed: “How can you tell me that I will die?” That's exactly what I heard. I freaked out and cried. All ten days I lived in horror, but in rejection - I was 99% sure that everything would be fine. It can't be like that with me. Not with me for sure. I tried to distract myself, but every day I cried, I could not sleep, eat. Because of this stupid lack of information, these stupid fears. They saved me with grass. This is the only thing that could put me to sleep, painkillers did not help with postoperative pain. You're just going crazy. Those days were the worst ever.

Then they said that yes, this is cancer of the second, deep stage. And they immediately said that it was not fatal and that he was being treated with chemotherapy. Then a long epic began with the search for doctors and oncologists, research. Cancer of the lymph nodes, it is also called Hodgkin's lymphoma - there are a lot of subspecies, it was necessary to investigate what type, level, a lot of everything. Later, they enlightened the whole body in order to understand where the cancer was, it turned out that my body was almost like that of a baby. Almost all healthy. I think that because of the operation with the hand, when they inserted the prosthesis, they planted immunity very strongly when various liquids were poured in for a long time. They extinguished just immunity, so that the prosthesis, the metal in the hand, would take root. Then it turned out that the prosthesis was initially placed incorrectly, and for all three years the prosthesis dangled. During this time, he did so much trouble in his hand that the immune system went crazy.

I stopped at the 62nd [Moscow city oncological] hospital in Istra. There I was offered an accelerated course - not half a year, but two months - and several irradiation procedures. I was in a hurry to go to the theater, to the stage. It was just summer. In September it was necessary to return to duty. And accelerated treatment is very tough. Severe poisoning of the body. I went for it. I lay down there, poured chemistry. It was supposed to be sick all night, I had a temperature, but I was so afraid of this that I set my brain that I would not lie in the hospital, that I would be active, I would not interrupt work - the shooting was planned. The next morning the doctors came in and were simply stunned to see me brisk. And I just ran away and went home. Since then, I just started coming by myself and injecting chemistry. In parallel, of course, a bunch of pills and injections. I made them myself, took syringes and medicine, injected myself - either in the stomach or in the leg. And so I drove myself to the hospital, poured in, left. So all treatment.

Chemistry is cumulative, it gradually got worse and worse. And every day the body throws something out. You walk down the street - and suddenly your legs fail. Either something is wrong with the teeth, then the vision is junk, then the hearing. Both day and night, constantly sick. You feel like you're pregnant. The first courses of chemistry, I could only eat cold beetroot. I didn’t eat anything else at all, I was shaking. Then the hair fell down, and, of course, I had to shave everything off. Tufts of hair remained in the hands. This was really scary. I held on to the last - I was sure that I would not go bald. One day they were walking with my mother, and then she sees that her hair just falls and lies on her shoulders, she didn’t even have to touch it. In the morning we left the house, and in the late afternoon, by five o'clock, I already had powerful bald patches. We went to my friend, took the machine in her hands and began to shave herself. My hands shook, tears rolled down in a hail - I look at myself in the mirror like this and see only fear, horror and ugliness. I couldn’t even go out to my mother, I was afraid that she would say that I was a freak. But everyone somehow immediately said that I was beautiful, this is absolutely my style, all that. I didn't believe it, of course. Eyebrows and eyelashes also fell out.

And getting weaker and weaker and weaker. But I continued to act, to play in performances. Physically it was very hard. I even went on tour, shooting began. And only in the last course of chemistry in August, the body could not stand it. I just collapsed and lay there for a week. I just couldn't walk, get up, or sleep. The worst thing is breaking. It breaks the whole body, bones, skull, teeth. I called myself a bedridden drug addict trying to get off the needle. I was terribly thin, just a skeleton. Friends helped, stuffed food into me.

And after a short period of rest, the theater began. And the irradiation began: every day for three weeks. And more droppers, injections, pills. She came by car to Istra to the hospital, and in the evening she played in performances.

Everyone around me says that I am a superman, so the treatment is impossible to endure: “So thin, small. No one works, no one wears, they lie at home and are treated. And I ran, tried not to cancel anything: I worked out my arm, swam in the pool, practiced in the gym, stretching, sports. It was hard, but the main thing was not to interrupt. Apparently, this cumulative thing caught up with me. When the main treatment ended, I again fell down very badly. The second month I'm just starting to come to my senses and eat off. Lost even more weight.

At the very beginning of treatment, a psychotherapist is assigned to everyone, but I immediately refused: I’m strong, I can handle it. But then I realized that I couldn't handle it. What I blocked on purpose caught up with me. Raging poisoning, operations, stress and work - it took its toll. I went to a psychotherapist and demanded strong drugs.

There were very scary emotional things that I just had no control over. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, panic attacks, terrible nervous breakdowns, tantrums. I couldn't explain why I'm crying now, why I'm inadequate. It felt like everything hurt. I remember, even during the exposure, I ran up the stairs and yelled: "I'll end up in a durke." It’s good that there was always someone nearby: they were brought back by force. Now I understand that this is the most important thing in cancer. It's not about support - you just often don't realize it.

This continues to this day, but not to the same extent, of course. There is a work with the doctor, sedatives. And the body is still weak, hard physically and emotionally.

On February 14, I will have a control CT scan [computed tomography - approx. Rain]. And they will say that [cancer] is in remission or you never know what else. I am convinced that everything is fine, but there is fear. In any case, it will be necessary to recover a lot, a lot. Not even a year, the body is poisoned. And this is even more difficult for me than treatment. Either the nails fall off, or the eyelashes fall out in the second circle. It can hold on for another four or five years.

I realized that the main thing in this disease is to know that you are not weak. Then I started on Instagram to sign photos with the hashtag #sickisntweak. And even earlier I put the hashtag #actressseagull, and now I am writing #baldactressseagull.

I proved on myself that cancer does not have to fall down and lie down. Yes, I was lucky that I did not have an advanced stage, I was lucky. It's still hard physically, but our brain is stronger than it all.

Alexander Gorokhov, Mediazona journalist, 29 years old

In early 2016, I thought something was wrong. Month after month, I worked. But something in the body was not the same as before, strange. Round-the-clock work, nothing but it and drinking - that's all I was interested in. And one summer - it was June - I went to bed, and it hurts wildly down there. Straight eyes climb on the forehead. I lay down on the bed, shouting to my neighbor to call an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital, and I'm getting sicker. It turned out that there was torsion of the testicular cord. Was straight f **** c. Here the doctor is standing, the surgeon, and I, yelling at two floors. And he says, “You know, go for an ultrasound anyway. And the second time, because there is something wrong.” And my aunt was so nasty, she didn’t want to do an ultrasound. The doctor has already taken this thing, done everything and says: “You have a tumor there and, most likely, cancer.” Benign or malignant - it was not clear.

I then could not unbend for three days. I spent two nights in the hospital. On the second night they brought my grandfather, who had incontinence. I wake up, I feel that it stinks. I tell the nurses

“Grandfather screwed up there.

- I will not go.

— What to do?

I wandered around this floor, tried to sleep on a bench, on a chair, and everything else hurts. Somehow he fell asleep on a small sofa. How I survived till morning, I don't know. But then they were already taken to the oncology clinic. And then I don't remember very well. It was a kaleidoscope: pain, tests, waiting for results. A few days later they still said it was cancer. But the stage is not clear. I waited a week at home. And then they told me: "You come to the operation." After all, it was possible to determine the degree only by excising the tumor. I arrived, lay for a long time, prepared for the operation. They said to shave everything from the neck to the knees, and this is a so-so event. I strained my friends to buy me this Veet cream. How long did I have to stand in the shower to shave it all off? The cream saved me.

I was operated on, had a cavity operation. The sensations were very funny - the tips of the fingers thaw, and then I understand that the toes froze in a different position, but I cannot correct them. I asked my mother to correct them in the opposite direction. It was terribly important in those moments. Then they let me go home after a while. There were two disgusting things: it was very painful when I sneezed and when they made me laugh. Sharpest pain. More time passed, analyzes were carried out. And in the end they said that I had stage IS, testicular cancer. This is not the first, but not yet the second stage.

“We will perform another operation for you, it will be necessary to remove some of the lymph nodes,” the hospital said. The tumor had grown into the circulatory system, metastases could have gone anywhere.

I waited a long time for the operation. Painfully. They did a second operation and said to go for chemo. OK then. It was possible to refuse, but I was told that in three years, most likely, there would be something not very good, “so go.” He lay for a week, there was a catheter. I went to bed at four in the morning, the doctors came at seven and started infusing. I woke up already at 11 o'clock from what was tearing me apart and I wanted to go to the toilet. During these four hours, 3.5 liters of liquid were poured. This went on for a week, I was dripping. On Sunday I was released, and it was the day of the Moloko Plus magazine presentation. I felt like normal, I asked my mother to take me to the presentation, I wanted to go out in public. All was good.

The next day I woke up completely exhausted. This went on for almost a month and a half. The worst time of the day is as soon as you wake up. You won’t fall asleep for another 12 hours for sure, but you can’t do anything at all. You look at your phone, answer a couple of messages, put the phone down. That's all there is to it. You can't even lie down, you feel so bad. It doesn't hurt - it doesn't. I walked 20 minutes along the wall to the toilet. You don't want to eat and you can't. The only thing - I can not say that I was very sick. Along with chemotherapy, I was given some kind of drug that seemed to help. Many usually have big problems with this. People turn around the clock. Physical pain is unpleasant. It hurts, but bearable. But this is just survival. Every day you think about when it will all end. Then it passed, but the hair began to fall out. They just lay on the pillow. Went and shaved completely. On this, perhaps, the story ended.

Every three months I take tests, because the risk of relapse is high. And this is 15 thousand each time. I'll go one of these days, they'll say something.

I don't feel like anything is going wrong. And every time you think, what if it happens again. I'm not particularly worried. Even when they told me that there would be cancer. Well, ok, it's cancer, now what to do. I wasn't scared, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't worried. In this regard, it was quite easy for me. Of course, it has to do with my character. Few things scare me. Well, a fatal disease, well, I will die, what should I do now, all mortals. Moreover, I wrote a diploma about euthanasia. So I posted big post on facebook about the disease. First, there is nothing to hide. Secondly, I somehow wanted people to know that they don’t need to withdraw into themselves, the mood is super important. I felt that something was wrong with this disease in Russia. Now, if you look at the States, it’s just a disease there, they don’t attach much importance to it. If I'm not worried, then everyone else shouldn't be.

For a long time I thought about how to do something to express it all. And in July 2017 I made a poster.

The idea dragged on for many months: from the end of 2016 until the summer. Pasted at the bar "Pine and Linden" and at the "Winery". And I was amazed - there are so many photos on Instagram, many people wrote “cool”. For street art, it hung for a very long time - several months. There will be several more projects on this occasion. I really want to say: dudes, do not despair. No need to worry. It may be very difficult for you, you will need to prolong chemistry, you will turn into a mess and it will be difficult. The question of survival during treatment is a complex one. But you know why you're doing it. No one chose it, you just got lucky like that in the heavenly lottery.

Ulyana Shkatova, psychologist, artist, 30 years old

It was 2014. Everything was fine: we worked, walked, dreamed. I decided to remove the mole - not just like that, of course, I had it for several years, changed, grew. I knew that moles are such a dangerous thing, but I had never removed them before. It was small, five millimeters, convex, changed color - I directly felt it on my body. On the shin, on the bottom of the leg. I knew that moles should not be burned out, so I went to an oncologist in a general hospital. He looked and said she was completely normal. "If you want, let's remove it."

If we analyze what happened, I don’t blame this doctor for anything, but the downside was that he didn’t scare me that the mole could be malignant. "Normal, looks good, if you want - we'll delete it, if you don't want - we won't." I came to him only a few months later. He removed it surgically under local anesthesia, sent it to histology. A few weeks later I got the result that everything is fine - the mole is benign. This story completely let go of me, and I did not think about it.

Almost a year has passed, and in this place (there was a small scar) a bump formed under the skin with half a pea. I did not attach any importance to this, but again went to the oncologist. "It's okay, just in case, let's cut it out again and give it to histology." Leaving the operating room, he told me to go into the office with him. He was very tense and scared: “It doesn’t look like inflammation, it was some kind of formation. We have to wait for the result."

I decided not to read the Internet and do nothing, because as soon as you read it, you will immediately find it all in your place. Mom got the results in the mail. I was at home, lying in bed, I had bronchitis. Nine in the morning - I wanted to call the doctor, but did not have time. Mom came to me, knocked on the door. I was very surprised that she came. They didn't agree.

- Here is the result. You have melanoma.

- And what is it?

- A malignant tumor.

I don't remember that moment and what happened to me.

When you are told the results, you don't realize how much the disease has spread. The first days are the worst. First, the unknown: what is it all about? You know that people die of cancer, that's all. I also had bronchitis and fever. I felt so bad, I sobbed and thought that I would never get out of bed at all again. It is inevitable, you just have to go through this stage.

I had an operation. They take a place where there is a tumor, and cut out a larger place. And six months later, a new bump formed in the same place. And so it went on every six months. Each time they had an operation, they cut out more and more. At some point, there was no longer anything to sew, and they did a skin transplant. They took the skin from the hand and transplanted it there. They sewed it together again, cut it again, again the seams diverged, again operations - there was nothing to grow together there.

All this time I was treated in different ways. I have a rather stupid diagnosis in terms of treatment - standard chemotherapy does not work. I don't mind at all. Yes, it's a tough method, but at least it heals. Chemistry does not work on melanoma. At first I was prescribed one medicine, I pricked for six months. His condition was terrible - his body ached, his head ached, he had a temperature every day. But it didn't work. Within the framework of the Research Institute [Oncology. N. N. Petrova] in St. Petersburg began experimental treatment. She donated 16 test tubes of blood from a vein and individual vaccines were made from them. I took them for a whole year.

Nobody was told about the disease, I continued to work in my condition. I didn’t want pity, well, there was hope that it would all end. Especially the second stage. This continued until the spring of 2017.

It was a Saturday at the end of March. Morning, I had breakfast and scratched my back (behind my left shoulder). And I feel like a bump under the skin. I went to the hospital for an ultrasound scan - they said that it looks like a metastasis from melanoma. Since the place is remote, the opposite side of the body, they immediately put the fourth stage. And this is a very expensive treatment.

There is no money, I started looking for options on how to get medicines. They are new, recently invented, and are still being tested all over the world. And just registered a year ago, not all doctors in Russia even know how to treat it. I was looking for the best options for what to do to stop the disease. There are few medicines for melanoma - you can count on the fingers. I consulted with the best doctors and realized that I needed a drug that costs 4.5 million a year. The amounts are certainly cosmic!

There was no money, so we decided to try clinical trials. There is not much time, you need to urgently decide something, the fourth stage is not a joke. We studied all the options for a very long time on a special website - in the end, we were given two thousand tests. It took a long time to translate and understand them. They wrote to everyone that came up - and everyone refused. There was one last test - in Germany. I waited a long time for an answer, in the end they said: "Come." Literally in a day, we applied for an urgent visa, packed our things, booked everything we could, and flew with my husband Sasha. I took a risk, there was no other option. Spent a day in the hospital and signed a consent form with them. Came up in all respects - was insanely happy. “In order to be taken into the tests for sure, you need to make an audit of your histology, you need to take blood and check everything again,” the doctors said. I went through all the examinations, and the day came when I was supposed to be given this medicine for the first time. It was the most terrible day of my life.

I came to the hospital. We waited for a long time, and then entered the office. The doctor said: "You have new metastases in the lungs, and with them you no longer fit." Not only was I not taken to the only test, it also turned out that the disease had spread to vital organs. "Sorry goodbye". All the last money was given to Germany. Just zero. And they were left with nothing.

There were no other options but to ask people for money. It was the beginning of summer. I got ready - done