Is it possible to remember the deceased a day earlier? Preliminary cleansing of your own soul. When the dead are remembered

According to Orthodox traditions, the soul of a deceased person wanders the earth for forty days, saying goodbye to his family and friends. The fortieth day is very important for the soul, it is then that it appears before the face of God and is responsible for all its life actions. On this day, the soul itself is no longer able to change anything, but this is subject to the relatives and friends of the deceased. Our ancestors revered church traditions, the same thing was instilled in us. But today's rhythm of life sometimes confronts us with difficult choice. No one can stop time or make it go faster; funerals do not always coincide with our weekends, and the question remains relevant for many: Is it possible to remember forty days earlier?

Tribute to tradition

The day of death is considered the first day when the soul begins to wander between worlds. The wanderings end at the fortieth - the decision to future fate souls. The importance of this moment cannot be overestimated. The most important thing we can do is to pray for a person, remember all his positive qualities. With our prayers and memories we ask higher power give a positive verdict and be merciful.

The deceased should be commemorated throughout the entire forty days, so to the question of whether it is possible to commemorate a person earlier, the answer can only be “yes.” However, it is on the 40th day that you need to visit the church and order a funeral prayer. Try to remember the deceased with kind words as often as possible.

If you can't host a 40th day memorial dinner, don't worry. The funeral meal itself has no meaning for the deceased. What is important is not a rich table and all kinds of dishes, but what is important is your attention, prayers and memories. Submit a note to the church for the liturgy, attend the service on the 40th day, after which order a memorial service.

Prayerful remembrance

The tradition of gathering loved ones at the funeral table has existed for many years, but church ministers note that especially important days After the death of a person, it is prayerful commemorations, and not funeral dinners, that play a huge role. In ancient times, it was customary to share food with the poor and beggars, attend the service and order a memorial prayer in the name of saving the soul of the deceased.

It should be noted that memorial days often occur at large church holidays. The clergy urge people to spend time not at the table with friends and loved ones, but in church - in prayer for the soul and in the name of all saints.

It is very important not only to order a prayer for the repose of the soul, but also to be present in the temple at this time, turning to the Lord along with everyone. It is the prayerful remembrance that should not be postponed to a day earlier or later; it should be carried out on important days for the soul - the 3rd, 9th and 40th after death.

In Russia it is customary to celebrate important dates- during life, these are birthdays, and after death, remember the day of departure. This date is especially important for Christians. After all, they believe in the resurrection and the next eternal life with God blessing. Therefore, the existence of the soul has no end for believers. How can one honorably, in a Christian manner, remember the deceased on the anniversary of his death?

Funeral traditions

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to remember the dead; the ancient Slavs also had such a ritual. It takes place on the day of the funeral itself, then 9 or 40 days later. On the anniversary of death, it is also customary to gather for a special meal. How to remember the deceased if he was a Christian? The most important thing is, of course, prayer. It is also necessary to refrain from heavy libations, or better yet, from alcohol altogether. Under no circumstances should ceremonial commemorations turn into riotous fun. This is very far from Christian traditions.

In addition to private prayer, on the anniversary of death in the church they order:

a special commemoration during the Liturgy is the morning service, during which pieces are taken from the consecrated bread for the departed. It is customary to order the so-called “Sorokoust” - they will commemorate at forty services;

memorial service - usually served on Saturdays, but you can arrange with the priest for another day. You can come to the funeral service weekly, but the anniversary is a particularly important day;

Lithium is another type of funeral service, it is somewhat shorter than a memorial service. It is served at any time; you can bring a priest to the cemetery to perform it.

It is imperative that the family members and friends of the deceased themselves pray at any memorial. After all, the priest cannot convey the feelings and emotions that loved ones experience. He acts as a performer of the ritual. Of course, his prayer has power, but you cannot entrust everything to others. After all, we are talking about the posthumous fate of a loved one.

But this is not all that is ordered in the church. The Psalter is appropriate for the anniversary of death. Usually it is ordered from monasteries and is done for a long time. Depending on the donation for a month, six months or a whole year. Again, be sure to remember the deceased yourself every day. For this purpose in morning rule There are special short prayers.

Church shops sell special books where you can write down everyone who needs to be remembered. You can take this book to church so that you don’t forget anyone when submitting notes. When the deacon or priest reads the notes, be sure to pray yourself.

Other days of remembrance

There are both private funerals and special church holidays, when it is customary to go to cemeteries. This is the so-called “parents day”, it is celebrated several times. On these days, we also need to remember the dead, regardless of when they passed away.

The 2nd Tuesday after Easter is a moving day. In some Russian regions there is a tradition of visiting graves directly on the day of Christ's Resurrection, although this is not officially approved - Easter is such a bright day that it is believed that there are no dead on this day.

Even if this is not the anniversary of death, the joyful words “Christ is Risen!” all the departed must hear. Title y memorable day the corresponding one is Radonitsa. For everyone there is hope for eternity with God, so this day is intended for shared joy - in heaven and on earth. It is customary to have a meal at graves, bring colored eggs, pancakes, and distribute the leftovers of the meal to the poor.

All the deceased are also commemorated on other days:

Trinity Saturday is the Saturday before Pentecost;

Meat Saturday - before the start of Lent;

Saturdays during Great Lent - 2nd, 3rd, 4th.

The deceased person still remains a member of the universal church, so memorial services can be ordered constantly.

How to spend a sad anniversary

A dignified death is the crown of a believer’s life. In daily prayers there are requests that God grant him a shameless death. Orthodox Christians strive to confess and receive communion before meeting the Creator. There are special rituals that are performed on the dying person. After death they are no longer repeated.

In order for the anniversary of death to be celebrated with dignity, it is necessary to begin the commemoration in the temple. This could be a presence at the Liturgy, then at a memorial service, or simply a pre-ordered lithium. After this, go to the cemetery, perform a civil memorial service there, or read the 17th kathisma. After this, have a meal, remember the deceased, and clean the grave. Drinking vodka, especially pouring it on a grave, is not Orthodox custom, which will not help the deceased in any way!

It is better to bring fresh flowers to graves; this is in accordance with Christian traditions. There is never artificial greenery in churches, because God has no dead. At one time, the church even tried to ban the tradition of decorating coffins with wreaths with inscriptions, but it was not easy to defeat it. This custom is not so much caused by greed or paganism, but is aimed against vandalism, which, unfortunately, is often found in Russian cemeteries.

But you can and should abstain from drinking. The pain of loss is great, but we must find other ways to cope with it. It is unlikely that the deceased will be pleased with such behavior. It is better not to spend money on intoxicating drinks, but to distribute it to the poor as a way to commemorate the soul.

How to remember the deceased for a year after death at home

You can commemorate the death anniversary at home. It happens that it is impossible to go to the cemetery due to various circumstances. Then it is necessary to invite everyone who wants to participate to prepare a special meal. The customs of placing a device for the deceased and covering mirrors are not Orthodox.

Before sitting down to the table, you need to pray. One of the relatives must read the 17th kathisma, or the rite of requiem. Candles are lit during prayer. Then you can start eating. It must be held with dignity, conversations must be decent, jokes and laughter are inappropriate.

Pagan meals for the dead were held with great pomp. It was believed that the more expensive and magnificent the funeral feast, the better it would be for the newly deceased beyond the grave. Triznes were accompanied not only by copious libations, but also by dances, songs, and competitions. The meaning of Christian funerals and wakes is completely different. They must maintain the prayerful memory of a person who is not even considered dead, but has passed on to another world.

Special dishes are served at the table. Kutya is definitely one of them. This is wheat porridge, which is sometimes replaced with rice. But its main feature is that it is prepared sweet, seasoned with raisins, other dried fruits, and honey. It is advisable to consecrate this food during the service. The sweetness symbolizes the joy that awaits the righteous in heaven.

Also a traditional funeral dish are pancakes, which are usually washed down with jelly.

Table setting should be ordinary. You can place fresh fir branches on the table and decorate the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.

Each change of dishes should be accompanied by the prayer: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant (name).” You should also pray after your meal. But it is not customary to thank the hosts for the funeral meal.

When everything has been read necessary prayers, someone can read poetry on the anniversary of death. There are no church prohibitions on this matter. Poems should remind of the virtues of the deceased, of his spiritual qualities. Of course, everyone has shortcomings, but Christians trust in God’s mercy, try not to remember them, but to pray for their sins to be forgiven.

It is customary to celebrate the anniversary of death not only in Russia. The dead are also commemorated in Asian countries. Japan, Vietnam, Korea and China have their own traditions. Followers of Judaism commemorate deceased parents, brothers, and children. True, their anniversary date does not coincide with the generally accepted calendar. During the funeral, it is customary to fast, meat and wine are prohibited.

How to honor the deceased yourself

What prayers are read at home on the anniversary of death to remember the deceased? The Psalter is best suited; the reading instructions are indicated in every Orthodox publication. In this case, between the psalms there are special prayers where the names of the deceased are mentioned. This is the most the best option. You can also read akathists, but the Psalms were written much earlier. Also, all Christian churches recognize their inspiration.

There are cases when the Church Charter prohibits commemorating the deceased at the Liturgy, ordering memorial services for them, or holding a funeral service. This applies to those who were baptized, but did not regularly go to church, that is, were not churched. A person who takes part in confession and Communion is considered to be a churchgoer; all others are considered “parishioners.”

True, in practice, deviations from this rule are often made. It all depends on the ruling bishop. In any case, it is necessary to clarify this issue with the clergy.

It is also clearly prohibited on behalf of the Church to commemorate those who took their own lives voluntarily. If a person died in war while protecting others, it is not considered suicide. In general, death in war is one of the most honorable. But death from a drug overdose is a type of suicide.

However, the holy fathers teach to hope in God's mercy. You are allowed to pray for such people in private; there is even a special akathist for suicides, compiled in the last century. You can also add something of your own, but you shouldn’t be too zealous either. We do not know all spiritual laws; such prayers can end in mental disorder for someone who wants to do a good deed.

Why remember the dead

When a person has completed his earthly journey, he does not need a magnificent funeral, an expensive coffin or a marble monument. Prayer is the main help we can provide to our deceased loved ones. This is not just a tribute to tradition, but a saving thread that can lead a person to the Kingdom of God. It is especially important to pray in the first days when the soul goes through ordeals. But even after a year or two has passed, this must be done.

Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after this is the funeral table. Of course, the funeral itself, the 9th and 40th days, are no less significant events to which all relatives, close friends, just acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited. However, at 1 year old you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among your closest people in family circle. Also, a year after a sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.

How to hold a wake for 1 year?

If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered to have a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is huge help for people who have left this world. After all, according to by and large the deceased does not need either a monument or a luxurious meal, the only thing that can be done is close person for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.

You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the funeral or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, the deceased is also remembered at meals. On this day, it is customary to prepare various dishes: this is necessarily soup, main course, and at the request of relatives, the favorite dishes of the deceased are prepared. Don't forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.

On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, you should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they put things in order: they paint it, plant flowers, pine needles (thuja takes root best, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upward). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is exactly in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.

Memorial meal at the wake for 1 year

Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people tastier, but do not forget about Orthodox posts. So, if the funeral took place on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed to be served should be served.

At the table it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the funeral table into a “drunken gathering.” After all, the word “commemoration” arose from the word “remember.”

The first dish served at the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat cereal with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.

The following dishes on the funeral table, namely soup, main course, can be anything, depending on taste preferences the deceased or the owners. It could be regular chicken noodle soup or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jellied meat, stuffed peppers or pilaf, as long as meat dishes are not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve pie with filling or pancakes.

It should be noted that memorial days must be celebrated in good location spirit, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other belongings of the deceased to those in need at the funeral.

Sources:

Website "Orthodoxy"

A wake is a rather complex funeral tradition found in most cultures. On the day of the funeral, there is a treat, as a memory of the deceased, both on the day of the funeral and on certain days Later.

Among some nationalities, sacrifices are laid at the grave, which are then used as food. Other customs call for holding a funeral feast (military fun) on site. This tradition was common among the Slavic and Germanic tribes, among the ancients. In other places, the deceased was seen off with mourning processions and crying.

We have a widespread Christian custom. According to the Orthodox canon, it must be carried out three times: on the day of the funeral, on the ninth day, and also on the fortieth day. They consist of a funeral meal. The same custom exists in many. The meaning of this ritual is very deep. Believing in the immortality of the soul, people bring the deceased closer to God, while at the same time paying tribute to him as good. It is not for nothing that it is customary to either speak well of the deceased or not to speak at all.

The funeral process also includes prayers for the person who has left the earthly world. In general, all actions at such rituals have a deep meaning, even the meal menu was not chosen by chance.

So how do you conduct a wake?

Before starting the meal, you must read the “Our Father” prayer. This is the necessary minimum, since it is advisable to perform a litia and sing the 90th Psalm (for this, the so-called “singers” are invited). During the wake, it is necessary to remember the deceased, and only him positive traits and actions, obscene language, laughter, jokes, and drunkenness are prohibited.

It is not advisable to make the menu rich. On the contrary, modesty and simplicity are necessary, since the abundance of dishes does not benefit the ritual process itself. The first dish that you cannot do without is the so-called kutia - porridge made from whole grain millet or rice, seasoned with honey and raisins. Moreover, it must be sprinkled with holy water, or

According to Christian traditions, the deceased is remembered on the third, ninth and fortieth day after his death. Mourning the dead for forty days was still an Old Testament custom.

The main task of the ritual is to help the soul of a deceased person pass into another world easily and calmly. The deceased should be remembered at a wake kind words, remember him warmly and pray for his soul.

It is necessary to visit the grave of the deceased, order the necessary services in the “Repose” church and organize a memorial meal to which all relatives and friends of the deceased are invited.

It is customary to bring flowers (an even number) and a candle to the cemetery; in some regions of the country, relatives leave cookies or sweets at the grave so that strangers will also remember the deceased.

You can make a short speech and say a prayer, but drinking alcohol at the grave is strictly prohibited.

A funeral dinner should not be like a buffet or feast. The purpose of a memorial meal is to remember the deceased person, remember him and support each other in such a difficult life situation.

The table can be quite modest, but the main dishes of a wake are traditionally: pies, noodles, kulesh, kanun, porridge and pancakes. Sliced meats and vegetables, mushrooms and salads are allowed. As for alcoholic beverages, give preference to the church wine “Cahors”. Alcohol at a funeral dinner is usually poured twice - “to commemorate the soul.”

Other religions also have funeral customs. For example, in Islam it is believed that on the day of the funeral it is necessary to do a good deed: help the weak or donate money to charity.

Is it possible to move the day of the funeral?

There are unforeseen life circumstances in which the question of postponing the funeral meal arises.

The Orthodox Church believes that for serious, valid reasons, the funeral dinner can be moved forward or back several days.

But if there are no compelling reasons for postponing, it is still better to hold the funeral exactly on the fortieth day of death.

In addition to prayers and meals, relatives should distribute refreshments to people in need “to commemorate their souls.”

A memorial meal should not be held if it coincides with major Orthodox holidays (Easter, Christmas, Trinity). In this case, it is better to postpone the funeral.

If you decide to postpone the funeral, it is better to hold it a few days later exact date of death.